Our wedding will take place within the context of a Catholic Mass, which is the central act of worship in the Catholic Church. The Mass is both a prayer and a sacrifice, where Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross is made present, and the Eucharist—the Body and Blood of Christ—is received. Because marriage is a sacrament, our vows will be exchanged within this sacred setting. The ceremony will follow the structure of a traditional Nuptial Mass, which includes prayers, Scripture readings, the exchange of vows, the consecration of the Eucharist, and Holy Communion. The Mass will be rich in meaning, rooted in centuries of tradition, and centered on the belief that marriage is not just a personal commitment but a reflection of Christ’s love for His Church. We are honored to have you with us as we begin our life together in this sacred and joyful celebration.

Just try to follow along as best you can. Julia and I (both being converts) were once where you were, looking around and trying our best to follow along. That's okay, and everyone at St. Aelred understands many of our guests won't be familiar with the Mass. As long as you are mindful and respectful, you have nothing to worry about. All are welcome to participate in the prayers and hymns, and Mass cards will be available to help you follow along, if you like. However, we encourage you to watch and enjoy in a prayerful spirit rather than focusing too much on reading the prayers with us. For those of you who are familiar with the prayers and hymns, we encourage you to sing them clearly to help those unfamiliar to participate. We also ask all to participate in sitting, standing, and kneeling when others kneel (if you are able).

In the Catholic Church, Holy Communion is a sacred sacrament, and receiving it expresses full communion with the Church’s teachings and beliefs. If you are a practicing Catholic in a state of grace (i.e., not conscious of any grave sin without prior confession), you are welcome to receive. If you are not Catholic or not prepared to receive, you are still very welcome to join us in prayer. You may either remain in your seat or come forward with arms crossed over your chest to receive a blessing from the priest. Your presence at our wedding Mass is a gift to us, and we are grateful to celebrate with you.

If you are Catholic and would like to make a confession before the nuptial mass, the best time would be at 5:00 - 6:00 PM on Friday at St. Aelred. Adoration is also available during this time for those who are interested.

Please be sure to RSVP by May 3rd so we can finalize our guest count. Your response helps us plan for seating, dinner, and all the details to make the day special.

Due to limited seating, only a certain number of people have been given plus ones! It will be listed in your invitation if you are one of those people.

Since our ceremony will be held in a Catholic church, we kindly ask guests to dress in a way that is both modest and formal. Ladies, please avoid (subject to your common sense) deep necklines, very short dresses, or exposed shoulders and backs. For the gentlemen, dress pants with a button-down shirt and a coat are perfect—ties are encouraged. As for the overall feel, our reception will take place in a beautiful late 1800s house, so think vintage elegance. Thank you!

Women are welcome (but are by no means expected) to wear church-appropriate hats or traditional mass veils, such as mantillas, which some regular parishioners may also be wearing. Church-appropriate hats are typically modest and elegant, avoiding overly large or extravagant styles that might obstruct views or draw excessive attention. Traditional wide-brimmed hats or small, structured hats that complement formal attire are all suitable choices. Men, in keeping with traditional etiquette, should not wear hats during the ceremony or indoors at the reception. Outside, appropriate brimmed hats (such as cowboy hats or Panama hats) are welcome for men.

To uphold the sacredness of the Mass and the sacrament of marriage, we kindly ask that guests refrain from taking photos or videos during the ceremony. Our photographers will be capturing the moment, so you won’t miss a thing. However, we’d love for you to take pictures and videos during the reception—and especially during our send-off!

Our wedding reception is a small reflection of the great wedding feast of heaven, a celebration of joy and fellowship. As Scripture tells us, God made wine to gladden the hearts of men. We’ll have a selection of beer and wine, along with a few spirits and two signature cocktails. Please enjoy—but in the spirit of true festivity, not excess.