We are so grateful for the family and friends who know intimately the stories that led us both to become unmarried after 20+ years. Thank you to each of you who walked with us through dark days of grief and loss.

To say that we both wondered if we would ever get married or find someone again is an understatement. We had no plans for dating apps or nights out at the bars. We couldn't imagine how it might happen.

God's kindness to us that is neither of us had to work hard to find each other. Our dear, mutual friend Suzie (our "invisible thread") thought that we might be good for each other. In a "they won't hurt each other, they live far apart, what could go wrong" kind of way. Suzie will tell you herself she never saw it ending here when she texted John Katie's picture in late October 2022.

And we certainly didn't either. From John's first text to Katie to their first phone call the next day, the pieces began to fall into place. No one was more surprised than we were to find another heart out there that beat in a similar rhythm—another soul with the same longings and hopes.

We began texting and talking every day and it became inevitable that we would meet. John flew to TN in early December and that confirmed our suspicions—we were in love.

Katie flew to CA in January 2023 and that began the hard and wonderful work of meeting each other's everything—kids, family, friends, favorite places, churches, etc.

We traveled back and forth for all of 2023. Every month feeling that more and more this is what God had for our future. We began talking about what that could look like.

It is something to combine two lives at our ages with lifetime friends and decades-old traditions. With FOUR KIDS who weren't so sure what all of it might mean. With two states and two jobs separating us. But ever so slowly a picture emerged of what a life could look like—that included all of those things and added something new.

On December 1st, at the Annual Christmas Tree Lighting in Katie's hometown, John proposed. The first step toward a new reality.

We don't yet know what the future will look like in the day to day. We know that both Katie and John will keep their homes for the near future. John will work at Northrup Grumman. Katie will work for the Center for Formation, Justice and Peace. Lia will be a senior at West High in Torrance, CA. Kayla will live and work in Dallas, TX. Max will continue at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, TN. Noah will live (Columbia) and work (Franklin) in TN. And we will see each other as often as humanly possible and miss each other terribly when we are not together. And, God willing, we will be able to combine houses (likely in TN) when jobs and colleges align. We will live one day at a time with God holding us in love and training us more deeply in faith and trust.

It has been a tender journey of two broken hearts finding wholeness in the intentional love and care of another. Of leaving room for past loves and wounds. Of creating new patterns and traditions with respect for the old.

A special shout out to our two daughters and two sons who didn't ask to be supporting characters in this drama/comedy of their parents dating yet nonetheless showed up with grace, humor, generosity, and truth. We would not be here today if it hadn't been clear to us that this love we were building was good for all 6 of us—included all of us. We love our kids more than life and we thank them for being here with us.

Things to Do