Our friendship grew slowly and quickly. When we met, I was in my first semester of grad school. I was stressed. I had so many new responsibilities and so much studying I had to do. I was also in the process of learning to open up my heart again after my failed relationship.

I need to make it very clear, that I was not interested in Jordan when we became friends. Not in the slightest. About a month after he’d gotten my number, we had texted a little, but we hadn’t spent any real time together. At Thanksgiving time, the ward hosted a Thanksgiving dinner on Monday night. While eating dinner, I learned Jordan and another friend, Jami, weren’t going to be with family on Thanksgiving. I had my grandmother in town, but she was bedridden, and I was hesitant to go to her house because I did not want to get her sick. When Kelli asked about my plans, I thought she seemed eager to tell me something, so I said I had indefinite plans. I took pity on Jordan and Jami, two people that I barely knew, and I invited them both to Thanksgiving with my family. Jami came early. Jordan was late. I got there while they were eating, but Kelli saved me a spot and introduced me to her family. Later in the year, I joked about this introduction as a “See family, I DO talk to boys!” moment for her. Jordan met my family only two months after we met and long before we started dating. After Thanksgiving dinner Jordan and I swam and played in my sister’s neighborhood pool. That was our first time really just being friends. After swimming in the fancy pool, she walked me to my car, a PT cruiser, and told me she’d always envisioned herself marrying a PT cruiser owner. It was a bit flattering, but I wasn’t attracted to her or ready to date her… yet. I don’t remember what I said (I probably just laughed) and I didn’t think much of the interaction. I have no recollection of saying that, but it does sound like something I might have said, as I’ve loved PT Cruisers since childhood. Anyway, Jordan didn’t end up leaving much of an impression on my family, because after he left, my parents asked, “What was your friend’s name again?”

Our friendship really started to grow after Thanksgiving, and by Christmas, we were good friends. She crocheted me a gingerbread man ornament, and I gave her a Christmas present. It was body wash, that he apparently also got for like EIGHT other women, but it was nice anyway.

We continued to engage in witty and playful banter; it was JUST what I needed, a casual and low pressure friendship. We would sit next to each other in church, and I began to hang out at her place. One day after church, we cuddled for the first time before volunteering at a women’s resource center. I felt very comfortable and safe in her arms.

Our friendship continued to blossom. Sometimes, she needed an accountability partner to motivate her to study. I would invite him over to my place to force me to study and get my assignments done. I joke that Jordan got an honorary master’s degree in Speech-Language Pathology because he was so involved in helping me study. In addition to studying, she sometimes needed cuddles or somebody to talk to. For me, being around Kelli, I just felt so safe. And even though we occasionally had spats, we were respectful and never hurtful or malicious.

One thing I LOOOOOOVED about hanging out with Kelli was that I could make mistakes without fear of humiliation or mockery from her. Whenever I made a mistake or made a social faux pas, Kelli was there to help me understand. Furthermore, when I had problems with other friends, Kelli was there to help me understand what was happening. Likewise, I would help her with any of her problems (which weren’t many). We were platonic friends, maturing and becoming better people together. He kept our friendship balanced by doing a variety of activities together for the next year or so: watching movies, solving the Wordle, baking cookies, and yes, cuddling.

Then, one night, I remember I was cuddling with Kelli while watching a movie, and we enjoyed a deep conversation. We began to have these deep conversations frequently. They were always respectful but not romantic. To prevent any confusion about the nature of our friendship from occurring, we limited our deep conversations to about once a week. After some time, we stopped having those kinds of interactions as much. I think Kelli wanted to save that sort of thing for somebody she was dating.

Around May, I started dancing at The Social Dance Effect Jordan invited me to months earlier, and I loved it. We continued to speak on the phone often. Jordan became my best friend, and we even started saying, “I love you.” There were rumors going around that we were dating, but we weren’t. We were just really good friends.

Kelli started dating other guys. This led to a decrease in hanging out, and I realized I really missed her companionship and the friendship we enjoyed. She would talk to me still, but it wasn’t the same. I missed hanging out frequently and our deep friendship. After she ended one of those relationships, I was a great comfort and support to her. He was a literal shoulder to cry on, and I was so thankful to have him.

We did however continue to sit next to each other in church, which I really enjoyed. She moved into a new place, where we hung out some more and sometimes, even had dinner together there. We watched movies and had fun together. Around Halloween, she helped me with a Jack Sparrow costume and braided my beard with fake hair. It was nice. (It took an hour, and I ended up being late to class.) I didn’t go to her sister’s place for Thanksgiving that year.

Over Christmas break, a very close and dear friend stopped talking to me. Of course, I called Kelli to complain and vent about it. She consoled me and helped me see different perspectives. However, she was a bit too curt, and after telling her how I felt, she proved herself able to adjust her language to validate my feelings in a caring manner. I appreciated her a lot for that. It was also a great opportunity to see what kind of wife she would be, even though I wasn’t thinking about her in that way. After speaking with Kelli, I was still hurt from losing my dear friend, but having Kelli by my side helped me through that trying time.

I moved away from the Holladay Ward to my parents’ house in Provo for my Speech-Language Pathology externships.After I came back from Washington, where I spent Christmas, Kelli had moved to Provo, and we didn’t see each other much. During for the first half of the year, I only saw Jordan about once a week dancing at SDE. At Social Dance Effect, she started coming up to me at the dance and affectionately saying, “My love.” It was touching, actually. One day, she invited me to her graduation. He made time to come to my graduation festivities. After a while, I began to think, what if we dated? She’s actually pretty cool, cares about me, is patient with me, and helps me understand the world with good explanations.

K&J

Portland Reception (DATE TBD)