Sorry ladies, this one is taken. Kevin met Max in grad school and they quickly bonded over shared loves of good movies, eating too much, and embarrassing themselves at open mic nights. Today they bond over shared hatreds of Timothy Chalamet, academia, and their rapidly-deteriorating bodies.

Sorry ladies, this one is taken. Kevin and William met in fifth grade, when they were ten years old. William was crying that he wasn't selected for the academic team AND he forgot his homework all in one miserable "worst day of his life." Neither of those things applied to Kevin, who was clearly smarter at the time, but now William is a real doctor and Kevin's professional life is a joke, so who's the real genius?

Sorry ladies, this one is taken. Aaron has a triangle head. I know it, you know it, everybody knows it. Kevin met him in high school when he joined a band with Aaron and William, and Kevin said "that is the most triangle I've ever seen a head be" and Aaron said "my brain hurts inside of this misshapen skull."

Sorry ladies, this one is single. When Kevin was brought to the hospital to meet his new baby brother Joey, he asked "can we leave him here?" Joey has been all the things to Kevin that brothers usually are: related, similar-ish looking, there. He has never kissed a woman -- when he was young he bet his mom $100 that he never would -- but he asks Kevin all the time what girls are like. Can Kevin's wedding finally be the night that Joey goes from Best Boy to Best Man?

Sorry ladies, this one is taken. Luke is the oldest man in this wedding party by far but still makes jokes about butts and farts and pee pee and whatnot. Kevin met him in grad school and joined his band and they played mediocre covers of dad rock songs. It was this band that won Luisa's heart, in spite of Luke making up juvenile lyrics to everything they played.

The best oldest sister you could ever wish for! Lina has always been so thoughtful and loving. When I was in Colorado for PA school during the height of the Covid pandemic and was unable to go home to Mexico for Christmas she organized a package to be mailed containing letters from each of my family members, a painting of a beautiful lioness and several lucky tokens. I had never been more sad to be away from my family during Christmas, but when I received the package, I had never felt so loved! Lina organized the whole thing and has always been there supporting me in so many ways. I am lucky to call her my sister and now one of my bride princesses

The best middle sister you could ever wish for! Sofi has been my bffeaeaeaeaeae since I can remember. We used to share a bathroom when we were kids and we would plan meetings after we went to “bed” to hangout in the shared bathroom creating Pokémon sculptures out of Play-Doh. I always wanted to hang out and was lucky enough to have her stand in as my prom mom when our mom was out of town, which was when Sofi introduced me to sparkling Rosé! She has always made me feel like I am enough and has helped me manage my stress on countless occasions talking through problems and ideas with me. I am lucky to call her my sister and now one of my bride princesses

The best soul sister you could ever wish for! Ale has been in my life since we were both in diapers. I have spent countless nights at sleepovers with her for the last 27 years playing Polly Pockets, playing with ants, befriending bumble bees, placing balloons under our shirts to pretend we were pregnant at age 5, memorizing love songs, creating handshakes, talking boys and now talking HUSBANDS! After I moved away at age 10 nothing was certain except for the fact that Ale and I would be friends forever. Ale once went missing after we had a play date, her parents called my parents frantically asking if they saw Ale when they picked me up from her house, only to find out I had hidden her in my parents car under my feet so that the play date could continue forever, and it has! I am lucky to call her my soul sister and now one of my bride princesses

The best older sister-in-law you could ever wish for! I met Kim in Denver, CO when I moved there for 3 years after dating Kevin for just over 8 months. You could say it was meant to be!! Kim met my dad and I July 2018 at a Red Rocks concert. We sat next to her partner Justin and his friend Beardo (to whom my dad gave dating advice) while waiting to meet Kim. I was nervous to meet her at first because I wanted to impress her and I wanted her to like me so that she would give Kevin the thumbs up! I quickly learned we share more than just a love of cats, we share a desire for growth, adventure, fun and love! I am lucky to call her my older sister in law and now one of my bride princesses.

The best younger sister-in-law you could ever wish for! Sarah accepted me as I was the moment we met in Florida when Kevin brought me home to meet the family. I admire her strong moral compass and ability to enjoy life and stay positive! She inspires me to continue to strive to be the best person I can be. I feel thankful we have formed a strong friendship built on trust and support. Now please move to NC! I am lucky to call her my younger sister in law and now one of my bride princesses