Our 25 years of marriage represents the durability, strength, beauty and endurance of this couples love and commitment to each other, as well as the growth and changes we have experienced together over the years. Our silver years are a time for reflection and appreciation of the past, as well as looking forward to continued growth and happiness in the future. Seems our 25th, or “silver,” anniversary is the perfect catalyst for some reflection on our marriage love story; the timeline of events and subsequent emotions that tie it all together.


It feels like yesterday we were celebrating our one year marriage anniversary. Most would correctly note that was just the beginning of our lives together, and while one year of marriage isn’t considered the biggest of feats, it’s so much more to us considering our decades long history of countless moments that got us to this point so far.

Our lovely marriage story commenced on an impulsive note. We had recently turned twenty-one and we applied for our marriage license in November, 1999 and eloped. My Granny Barnes expressed to me the significance behind walking down that aisle in the church having a ceremony. And that convinced us into having a ceremony on May 27th 2000, which is my parents anniversary.


Needless to say, we didn’t completely know who we were, or what we fully wanted in life at that point. But, we both knew we wanted to figure it out together, and we had relative faith that when we arrived at this place of “knowing,” David and I would still be on the same path. Impulsivity came easily in our twenties. It felt good… We eloped and lived at our 1st apartment in Cal Park, IL, while I worked and later awaited for David to prepare everything for us to relocate to North Dakota, VSCUniversity.


After years of us finding our footing in North Dakota then sharing our first home together for 5 years. I’ve been thinking about what it is that continues to keep us together. A lot of it can’t be explained, that conviction that I know he’s my person because I just know, but a lot of it can be explained by all those cliche pillars used to describe successful relationships— they really are true.

I am not quite sure how David and I find ourselves celebrating a quarter century of shared experience; almost 30 years, if you count high school sweethearts dating in high school and getting hitched while in college. Yet, here we are upon the doorstep of our 25th wedding (elopement) anniversary. I can only speak for myself with regards to this experience, but, having known David since I was 17 years old has given me ample opportunity to learn from him and him to learn from me.


We’ve shared pieces of our story here and there, but I’ve never told it from start to finish, so in celebration of our 25th anniversary I thought I’d finally share the story of how we met and everything since that led us to our love marriage. We met the summer after our junior year of high school. David accidentally, nervous and hyper aware of everything about his first time at Glenwood skating rink, which is why he remembers our 1st meeting clearly- love at first sight type of thing. Our friendship naturally turned into more. We played basketball together, worked together, we went to prom together, we had the best summer before I left Chicago to go away to the military and David left for college, and we gave it our best for a year long distance.

Then, just a little more than a year into our time as husband and wife, as we began to co-author our marriage love story more purposefully, we moved to North Dakota, where David went to college & I would be stationed for four years while later enrolling at the same University. This was one of those things in my life that I felt like I truly manifested, out of sheer clarity and desire.


At the time, this felt purposeful and I mostly enjoyed the experience. It was an exciting time, marked by the contrast of rapid change and the patience required to do the work needed to facilitate those changes. I plugged away at a military job (with continuous promotions) and, my sole focus was to serve in the U.S. military. Despite the underlying risks during a war, we rationalized that this was the best route for us to gain some immediate independence, travel opportunities and educational benefits.


However, God-seen more and change became inevitable. I worked for a few non for profits, worked in corporate America and in the education sector, got pulled into starting a radio show from that I became a host/emcee and public speaker. And Dave started a tutor side business with young men while teaching. While God switched his path to work for the city of Chicago and we both together explored our entrepreneurship opportunities. Success and abundance surely manifested among Team Douglas.

One vision starting in 2005, to bring forth our 1st son. After finishing school later we had another son in 2011 and our youngest son was born in 2014. Yes, Team Douglas was officially finished with no more recruitments needed on this team. Other smaller focused endeavors were scattered around these milestones of travel, education, health and family. Some included career development, more education, creative pursuits, homeschooling our kids, and building community.


This surely was an intentional pursuit, a handful of years later, starting a family. That took a little introspection. But, three kids later, we had created a family that looked a lot like we had envisioned. Of course, there were a few unexpected twists and a whole new set of filters through which to see the world, too. No regrets there!


It seems the first fifteen years of our marriage love story was highlighted by a whirlwind of striving towards goals and “building a life,” whereas, for the most part, the last ten feel more like the “maintenance years.” But, even in the process of maintaining status quo, there are creative elements to sharing space, experience and time that have definitely been enhanced by our partnership.


Of course, I do not doubt that the complexities of existence could have conjured up some other life path to offer similar wisdom, but, parenting is definitely an efficient means. And, parenting in partnership provides an even better opportunity to know the stuff we are made of. David and I are no exception. Our children added depth and interest to the pages of our marriage love story and provided us with invaluable opportunities for growth. The insights have been profound and the lessons have not been lost on us.

Twenty-five years into this endeavor, our relationship feels like a permanent fixture. We are family. Our marriage love story is not complete, but is filled with many meaningful and fulfilling chapters. I feel fortunate to have David in my life and I feel resolute in my commitment to my own personal growth and to our relationship.


There have been many moments of meeting halfway, sharing the load and giving each other perspective. It has allowed me to experience unconditional love. And, it’s not over yet! With Gods grace, there will be time for more lessons, more moments of co-creative inspiration and the chance to know more of ourselves within relationship to each other.


Though, with these challenges, there have been times when our understanding of one another has not felt complete, and our desire to “work on” the growth of our relationship has waned, mostly, there was patience, empathy and commitment to sticking with this joint endeavor to see where it would take us and how we could enrich our marriage love story to be one we continued to co-author graciously. And, as middle-age approached, a deeper appreciation for our shared journey seemed to settle in. That “soulmate” notion of mine had come to see the value of being life long partners.

I will admit that in the early stages of our relationship we lacked setting boundaries, we likely tested the limits, got caught in emotional ramblings, philosophical debates and misguided efforts at communication and personal growth. We learned how vital it is to set boundaries and respect boundaries.

Over time, we learned to recognize the expressions “Give the Same Grace as you would like to be Given...Listen to Understand Not Hear to Defend…to Resolve a Problem is More Effective than to Focus on Debating the Problem… it's OK to Disagree Agreeably… Keep in Mind We're Not on the Opposing Team, We're On The Same Team, The Winning Team...” These are all solid guidelines for any relationship.

In the context of marriage, the need to focus on communication revealed itself slowly over time in our relationship. Coming to understand that good communication was something that needed to be cultivated and nurtured, not a skill we inherently possessed, was a lesson we had to learn through trial and error.

The foundation of any relationship is built upon the capacity of those in it to understand one another and a willingness to do the work necessary to reach that place of understanding. Effective communication is our most valuable tool within relationships and the fuel for the flame of love. And, We both have definitely done our parts to fan that flame over the years.

On our 25th anniversary we talked about those things, what it is we love and appreciate about each other, and the things we do to keep those butterflies around. We easily agreed that most of all, it’s the little things. The little things are huge. Daily acts of kindness, expressions of love, and our ability to laugh about anything and everything to the point of tears make us confident and excited about the rest of our lives together.




We made a pact to do everything we can to maintain the small traditions we’ve created over the years that let each other know we’re loved. Things like sending each other a love morning text, Dave kissing me before he leaves in the morning even if I’m still sleeping and may never know whether or not he did, surprising each other with a lunch date at work, massaging each other while watching TV, getting each other the perfect card on our birthdays & anniversaries; holidays or just because and our favorite: giving each other a big long hug when the other gets home from work and debriefing about our days. It’s why I love so much the sentiment behind the unity we’ve created. The little things, and that spreading and sharing the love only takes the smallest act, which after 25 years plus is still so cherished and appreciated.




Our love isnt perfect, and neither is our love story. But that’s what makes it special. That’s what makes it ours. Our Love is unconditional and transparent… And, I wouldn’t want to trade it for anything. I pray our love story is an example for our children, and an example for others. It’s a love story worth telling. Happy 25th Anniversary, David Douglas. You still are my love of a lifetime!