Finding each other has been a miracle from my “wisened” (a play on being old and wiser) viewpoint. I had been single for a long time, seriously, for an eternity. I just did not think I would ever have room in my heart for anyone. All my half-dozen or so children had flown the coop. Yes, I know how many I birthed, but there was that rolling list of additional youthful faces that kept showing up at the kitchen table or peering into the frig. I am still working with immigration for the last fifteen years and counting. My sisters and I had cared for my mother in my home for two years. After she was gone, I woke up one day and realized all the walls that I had put up to keep romance away, were no longer there and I had a void in my heart. I was ready to consider the possibilities.

John was a widower and had adult children like me. They had their own lives as they should. He is a stoic, hardworking public servant for the state of Nebraska for the last 30 years and continues serve to this day. Neither one of us enjoyed hanging out in bars with the hopes of meeting someone. Anyway, both of us were of that age, that even if we had found a bar that catered to people our age, there was a good chance one or both of us would have fallen asleep. The solution was obvious: online dating!

Our first cautious date was to go out for coffee on February 12th of 2022. It was a surprisingly good date as we both talked about our children and who knows what. Despite feeling a bit nervous, I poured on all the charm and wit that I had. I was intrigued by his good manners, his cultured speech, and the way his eyes lit up when he spoke about his smart and talented kids and his two grandsons. I was very happy when he asked me if I wanted to go out with him again. It took a few weeks, okay, maybe a few months to get an ebb and flow that took us where we are today.

Who could have known that his stern, cranky, taciturn facade concealed a huge heart, a razor-sharp wit and sense of humor, a little sarcastic, albeit, but one that makes me laugh a lot. He is a man of few words, but his actions have spoken volumes. He has good taste in music too and has introduced me to new artists that I love. I firmly believe that mariachis are growing on him too. I love being chauffeured by him. That is probably a good thing for the safety of our community. It is so nice to sit with someone during Mass that likes to hold my hand. In short, we share a lot of things that we both love, but especially our families. He proposed down on one knee, as I had dreamed about in my youth, witnessed by two of my closet friends, on September 19th! In short, my heart is filled with gratitude that I could fall in love again! God has really blessed us!

Being widowed at 66 was not something I had ever imagined and not something I was prepared to deal with. But life does not always give you the choices that you imagine and there I was. The kids had all taken flight and were thriving on their own. My loyal dog is a great companion, but a little lacking in conversational skills. After a year of being alone, it became abundantly clear to me that God was right when at the end of creation, he looked at Adam and said, loosely translated, “Guys are not designed to be alone.”

As Lupe has pointed out, there aren’t any bars that cater to our age bracket; and a surprising lack of available social groups for singles our age as well. Although I avoid social media and apps other than ESPN as much as possible, it quickly became clear that dating apps were about the only alternative for finding someone; so, I plunged in. I hadn’t a clue what I was doing and I assume that the few women I met online, other than Lupe, would agree. To say the least, it was not going well, until one day when I got a like (or whatever they call it on eHarmony) from a woman with a radiant smile and twinkling eyes. And to make sure that I had noticed her, she quickly pinged me again on Catholic Match. Enter Lupe.

Our first date did go really well and we discovered a lot of common interests and likes. I asked her out for a second date before we left and she quickly agreed. Then quickly said, oh, wait, I am going out of town, we will have to pick it up when I get back. I wasn’t entirely sure if it was just a brush off or she really was going out of town, but when she said, here’s my phone number, just text, I assumed that we were still on if at some indefinite date. Lupe confirmed that when a week or two later I got a somewhat testy text saying, loosely translated,” You were supposed to call me!” Actually, it was a little more direct than that, but I will spare you the details.

Obviously, the second date happened and things progressed from there. Being with Lupe just seemed natural. Neither of us had to pretend. I quickly found that not only did we have a lot of common likes and beliefs, but she is really funny and loves to laugh. And did I mention that radiant smile and twinkling eyes.

We both love music and have expanded each other’s list of listenable artists. And she likes it when I do dorky things like texting her links to songs that I have found on YouTube. She was a little hesitant when I asked her to expand her sports interests to NU Basketball. But that quickly changed and now she is as passionate a Husker basketball fan as there is.

Things progressed to the point that it was time to introduce Lupe to my children and friends. To say it went well is a bit of an understatement. Everyone who meets Lupe loves her and have been quick to let me know. Some more directly than others. One daughter pulled me aside, drew me in close, and said “Dad don’t blow this!” My friends were equally impressed and, in some cases, equally direct as my daughter; “John, she is wonderful and you are so happy when you are with her, will you just marry her!” And so I am and so I shall.

Lupe is a blessing in my life and I am excited to see what path our love takes us down going forward.