In the summer of 2020, while I was watching Avatar the Last Airbender, which had just come onto Netflix, my friend texted me about a girl that I hardly knew and asked if I thought she was cute. After saying yes, he and his sister eventually put me, her, and themselves into a group chat on Snapchat. They introduced both of us, and then they left the group chat with just us in it. I remember saying in the chat before they left, “There’s no way this will work out.”

I remember at some point that night, my friend had told me, “She and her family are super religious.” I remember pausing for a while when I read this. I paused, not because I was repulsed or regretted saying she was cute. But because sometime before that, I started to pray and to ask the Lord to send me someone to guide me to him. I paused because I knew that this was his answer.

When Maria and I look back on our first date, we think it was a small miracle that it went well. Somehow, despite the fact that neither of us had ever been on a date and were both pretty awkward, there was never really a dull or awkward moment. My friend had recommended to us that we go on a hike for our first date since he had recently done the same with his girlfriend at the time. We both agreed to the idea.

When I came to pick her up, it seemed innocent enough that we would go for a walk in the woods to chat and get to know each other. But her mother didn’t see it that way. To her, she saw some strange man she had never met picking up her daughter and taking her to go into the middle of the woods (which was fair). But lo, I showed up early for our date because I was so excited, and her mother couldn’t greet me at the door (since she was still getting ready) but could only watch through the window as we walked to my car and drove away. Her only consolation was that I opened the passenger side door for her daughter.

I remember that we walked on the trail for quite some time, and whenever we saw ourselves coming back to the beginning, we would take a turn to prolong our time together. I remember we talked and laughed about many things. One notable moment was when I was trying to remember what her face looked like since we spent most of the time either side by side walking and looking ahead or one in front of the other when the path became narrow. But I remember she told me that she could make her eyes look in opposite directions like a chameleon, and I remember she turned around to face me when the path was narrow, and she did exactly that. And lo, this was the face of the woman I was to marry.

I could go on about our first date which I remember so well, but for the sake of brevity, I will move on.

The first year we spent dating was the longest stretch of time we have spent together consecutively. We knew that, eventually, I would have to go off to college while she would stay in Fort Wayne for her senior year (then she eventually went to Ball State while I was at IU).

But it was this time apart that made all the difference.

I remember telling a friend a couple of weeks into dating that I thought Maria and I were “Either going to break up or I’m going to become Catholic, and we’re going to get married.” And this was the time to find out.

I knew that if I was going to marry this girl, I would have to be Catholic, as she had told me at the beginning. But I didn’t want to be Catholic if it wasn’t true. I knew that if Catholicism wasn’t true, then it was a waste of time, not worth committing any attention to, and especially not one’s life.

And so, my heart was restless. I wanted to know whether it was true. Not only was my relationship in the balance, but also the whole meaning and trajectory of my life. But I was never satisfied with what I found. There was no argument, piece of evidence, or fact that was enough. There was nothing I could find that was sufficient to push me to conversion.

After a whole semester of searching, I went home for Christmas Break. I remember being in a lot of darkness, not knowing what I thought was true, and my heart being completely hardened. I felt there was nothing that could bring me out.

But I remember going with Maria and her family to their family friend’s house for New Year’s Eve. It was there that I saw a man propose to his now wife. I saw a man saying to the one he loved, “I give you all that I am and all that I have.” It was in this moment that all of my searching came to an end. It was here that I saw Christ, who gives himself completely to his bride, the Church.

When I went home, I listened to Fr. Mike Schmitz talking about Hosea chapter 2. I remember stopping and getting out the Bible that Maria’s mom gave me and reading the words:

“Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her... And in that day, says the Lord, you will call me, ‘My husband,’… And I will make for you a covenant… and I will abolish the bow, the sword, and war from the land; and I will make you lie down in safety. And I will betroth you to me for ever; I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness; and you shall know the Lord.”

This was the moment of grace that brought my conversion. At this moment, I came to know the One I longed for. I came to know “him whom my soul loves” and the One who loves me and “gave Himself up for me” (Song of Songs 3:2 & Galatians 2:21).

Then, in my sophomore year, on April 8, 2023, I entered the Holy Roman Catholic Church.

But our relationship wasn’t smooth sailing from there. For a period of time, I started discerning religious life. A call to leave everything to serve Christ and his Church, taking the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. Which would have meant the end of our relationship.

At the beginning of our relationship, I didn’t truly love Maria because I didn’t know Love Himself and was still a slave to sin and my own selfish desires. But at this point, I had a split heart, and I wasn’t giving her all that I had. Yet, during both periods, she remained faithful and was willing to bear with me even if it meant tremendous heartache. Just as Christ refused to come down from the Cross to save himself, she refused to give up on me (Mark 15:30).

But one week, Maria told me that I needed to make a decision. So, I fasted and asked the Lord to show me what it was that I truly desired and what he wanted for me. Then, on a Thursday night at 9pm Mass, after receiving Holy Communion, the Lord made clear that I wanted to marry her, and he was calling me to imitate him by being her bridegroom.

I went home that weekend to visit Maria, and later on, she said that going into the weekend, she thought I was going to break up with her. While there were other moments during my discernment where she thought we were going to break up before this one, this time was different. This time, she felt at peace. I remember meeting her at the Oratory of St. Mary Magdelene for 5:30pm Mass, and the Lord confirmed again my desire to marry her, and his call to marriage.

Then, that night, we went to get ice cream, and I told her everything. I told her that I wanted to marry her, how I learned that we are all called to imitate Christ, and how I felt called to imitate Christ the Bridegroom in giving myself completely to her.

Then, on September 8, 2024 (Our Lady’s birthday), I proposed. Now, we are preparing to be the sign of Christ’s union with his bride, the Church, in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony on August 2, 2025 (Feast of Our Lady of the Angels of Portiuncula).

Q + A coming soon!