My young adults group was starting back up after summer break and their first meeting was going to be a fun potluck dinner and fellowship night. I was surprised to see that Matthew had driven all the way up from Castle Rock to attend.

Why did he drive all that way to be here? That’s a two hour drive!

He did it to see you. The thought gently whispered.

I denied it. “No, he didn’t come for me. Why would he do that? We’ve only met 3 times. He came because he had said he didn’t have many Christian friends near his house and was looking for a young adults group, so he decided to join the one his cousin is going to. That’s why he’s here.”

I blew it off, but deep down, I knew I was wrong.

I don’t want a long distance relationship! I responded to my thoughts, so the answer is no!

I filled my plate with food and sat down at a table next to a new girl I hadn’t met before. We chatted for a few minutes and suddenly I found the table surrounded by 6 other guys including Matthew who had gotten their food and all sat down near me. I found myself getting flustered as two or three of them would ask me questions and try to start conversations with me all at the same time.

What was happening?! I had never been the center of attention with this many guys before in my life!

Matthew was sitting across from me and asked me how my summer trip to the Grand Tetons had been, just as another guy asked me another question at the same time. I briefly answered Matthew with a short statement, “It was good.” And then turned to the other guy and answered his question. When I turned back to Matthew he was in a conversation with my brother and someone else was asking for my attention.

Matthew stayed until most of the other guys had left, and I got up to clear my plate. When I returned, Matthew was gone and the table was empty. Apparently his cousin had come and told him she wanted to go home and he had already left. Part of me felt disappointed. But why? I wondered. I don’t want a long distance relationship. I shouldn’t even care. Yet the feeling of disappointment that he had left remained.

A few days later I was sitting at the dinner table discussing the young adult potluck night with my mom, when my dad walked in.

“Was Matthew there?” He asked.

“Yeah.” I responded.

“He’s sure making an effort to see you” my mom put in, “driving all the way up from Castle Rock!”

“No, he just came because he wants to check out our young adults group and make more Christian friends.” I interrupted, trying to deny the fact that he may have feelings for me. I didn’t want to have feelings for him because I didn’t want to be in a long distance relationship. It was a silly thing to say.

“No, I don’t think so,” my dad responded, looking at me seriously. He held up his phone, “He left me a message the other day asking me to call him back. When I did, he said he wanted to ask my permission for him to ask you for your number and get to know you.”

The room fell dead silent and I was shocked.

Matthew had asked my dad for his permission to ask me for my number and get to know me? Who does that anymore? That’s so… chivalrous! And honoring.

I remembered all the times in the past when guys would get my number off of group chats, or ask one of my friends to have it. One time I even had a guy come up to me at church and start talking to me but he was standing way too close in my personal space, so I backed up, and he stepped forward, so I backed up again, and he continued to come forward until I found myself pressed against the wall. Church was starting and I had to serve in the kids room so I politely ended the conversation saying I had to go and serve. I then slid along the wall to get around the guy, and had made it to the door of the kids room when he caught up to me, grabbed my wrist, spun me around, and held his phone in my face, “Please give me your number!” He exclaimed. I rolled my eyes, but he tightened his grip on my wrist and insisted.

That’s how I had been treated by guys in the past. For Matthew to have first asked my dad his permission before he even asked me for my number, this was unheard of! This was amazing! His honoring act of respect caught my full attention and my heart softened.

He likes me. The thought echoed in my head as my dad continued,

“I was impressed and I gave him my permission. If I were you, I would suggest giving him a chance.”

I nodded wordlessly. My dad is full of wisdom, and whatever he tells me, I always try to listen because he’s always been right.

That night I felt guilty that I hadn’t talked with Matthew very much at the potluck. He had driven all the way up from Castle Rock, and sat at my table and asked about my Teton trip, and I had only told him, “It was good.” And had talked with all the other guys, and then Matthew left. What if I broke his heart? What if he had called and talked to my dad and my dad had given him permission to get my number but then I wouldn’t even talk to him when he saw me? (I wasn't sure exactly when he had called my dad in relation to when I saw him at the potluck.) What if he moves on to someone else?

I had never met someone more respectful who would ask my dad for permission for my number before asking me. So that night I decided to friend him on Facebook. It was a small gesture of friendship, but it was something.

Later Matthew had told me he had friended me on Facebook a few weeks before, but then something in his spirit didn’t feel right about it, so he removed the request. It’s crazy how God works because at the time, I don’t know if I would have been ready to get to know him and it would have come across as if he were stalking me, or was coming at me too fast.

But now I was ready and within the day he had friended me back. It was the start of hope.

Send gifts to: Brittney & Matthew at: 3494 Bighorn Ct. Wellington, CO 80549