"Oh, my ear just opened up! It's like I can hear in 3D!"

"You can't tell me that this butter isn't freshly churned."

"Holy cow. I just really had to sneeze but I couldn't so I started pretending to sneeze and it made me actually sneeze. I should pretend to be 6'2"

McKenzie: "I think Winston (our dog) has a hot spot."

AJ: "What does that mean? Like he's putting off wifi?"

"Wow...Braille...imagine being deaf."

"It's crazy how inflated the moped market is here."

Said while hugging me and looking at our reflection in the mirror

"You know, sometimes I look at us together and I realize how much we look like brother and sister and it really scares me."

Asked with confusion while reading a billboard that says 'live nude girls'

"As opposed to dead nude girls?"

"You know who I don't like? People who refer to movies as films. Bunch of perverts."

"All I want is a cast iron and a bed."

AJ: "What's that movie called that we're going to see later tonight? Short Girls?"

McKenzie: "Little Women."

AJ: "She was sitting there in her sleeping clothes. What are those called?"

McKenzie: "Pajamas."

While playing Call of Duty

"I just broke a bunch of Middle Eastern women out of prison. LET'S GO LADIES."

AJ: "I haven't seen that Tiger King show yet, but I do know that Carol Burnett lady killed her husband."

McKenzie: "Wrong Carol. It's Carol Baskin."

"That wasn't very cash money of you."

Unprompted in the middle of silence

"I peed in an air vent one time when I was like six."

"What's your favorite gas station?"

Long pause

"I'm just curious ;)"

M&A