I’m gonna be real with y'all...I knew Josue was the Lord’s choice for me when my inward being was settled and full of peace. If I’m being honest, this came in layers, over time, and I didn’t find full rest and peace until the recent past.

I fell in love with Josue in a small moment about four months into our relationship. He was in the kitchen making me an omelet and seemingly out of no where it hit me...I love that man. And it wasn’t just because he sprinkled hot cheetos over it like finishing salt. Falling in love with him wasn’t a result of a romantic gesture or date, or getting emotionally swept up in the beautiful background of one of our trips. It was the awesome realization that came after hundreds of confirmations that this man is worthy of my love. I didn’t tell him right away, I told him the week following and as he has already said, I haven’t really stopped.

I knew at a young age that although very important, love is not enough to maintain a marriage. I also have known that who you choose to spend the rest of your life with, is the biggest decision you will ever make. Therefore, after falling in love with Josue, I unfortunately experienced a lot of internal, self-inflicted pressure and anxiety to “figure out” whether my relationship with Josue was intended to be the last. I went through a process of detailed consideration and observations, many conversations with Josue, prayer to the Lord and fellowship with the members of His Body--often seeking peace, seeking answers. I was concerned that my anxiety was robbing me of my joy. The more I fell in love with Josue, the more Josue loved me, the more pressure I felt.

What stayed consistent, stable, reassuring, patient, caring, and safe was Josue. I always had a safe place to be open about inward concerns. Once Josue learned how close and important my relationship was to the Lord (which was around week 2), I was often encouraged to pray and to fellowship to find peace. Referring to the book “The One Thing” Josue would say, “Your one thing is the Lord. If you don’t take care of that you will always be off-centered”. To say he’s a supportive partner doesn’t fully cover it.

While the immense stressors of my life situation and the anxiety that came from understanding the gravity of who you choose to spend the rest of your life with were altogether present during my time dating Josue, my joy was not robbed but made more full. As I grew to know Josue’s person and all that that entailed, I received thousands of irrefutable proofs that came from conversations, observed behaviors, meeting his tribe, and thousands of conversations to the Lord that culminated in peace.

While to some, my side of the story might not feel romantic, to me it’s perfect. I am choosing to commit to this man whole-heartedly not because of an emotion, but as a result of a very informed choice, an inward being full of peace, with a love infused with God’s unconditional love as a result of knowing with full assurance that Josue is God’s choice. Whatever storms might come our way, I can testify that Jesus is sleeping on our boat (Luke 8).

M&J