The Wedding Day

A traditional Jewish wedding is a tapestry woven from many threads: biblical historical mystical cultural and legal. These threads are carried from generation to generation forming a beautiful chain of Jewish continuity. Our Sages teach that each Jewish marriage is a re-enactment of the marriage between G‑d and the Jewish people that took place at Mount Sinai. The wedding day is compared to a personal Yom Kippur - a day of special holiness for the bride and groom who will each fast on their wedding day and are forgiven for their past mistakes as they prepare for a new life together. A Jewish marriage is also an intricate legal transaction by which the bride and groom enter a mutually binding commitment. The rituals and traditions of the Jewish wedding contain both legal details as well as underlying spiritual themes.

Tenaim and Kesubah

The Tenaim is the betrothal agreement. It is the official binding engagement. The Kesubah is the marriage contract. It is the binding document of confidence and trust which details Naftali's obligations to Mushka.

Kabbolas Ponim

Pre-Ceremony Reception

The Jewish wedding traditionally begins with a special Kabbalas Panim greeting reception in honor of the bride and groom. Our Sages tell us that on the wedding day the groom is likened to a king and the bride to a queen. Special powers are granted to them from On High especially in the realm of giving and receiving blessings. Two separate receptions are held in adjacent rooms one for the bride and another for the groom. By tradition the bride and groom refrain from seeing each other for a full week before their wedding to increase their yearning for each other and their subsequent joy of reuniting at their wedding. The bride sits on a distinctive ornate throne-like chair surrounded by immediate family members. Friends and family approach wishing Mazal Tov and offering their heartfelt blessings and words of encouragement.

At the groom's reception songs are sung and words of Torah are often delivered. This occasion is used to complete and sign two of the wedding documents: the Tenai'm engagement contract and the Kesubah marriage contract. At the conclusion of the reading of the Tenai'm the mothers of the bride and groom jointly break a china or glass plate to symbolize the solemnity of the document and the irreparable nature of a broken contract. This is followed by joyous shouts of Mazal Tov!

It is the Chabad custom for the groom to recite a Ma’amer Chassidic discourse. The discourse begins with the words “L’cho Dodi” “Come my beloved” and discusses the mystical significance of the wedding. Chassidic tradition maintains that during the recitation of this Ma’amer which contains teachings from all of the Chabad Rebbes the souls of the Rebbes come to join the wedding celebration.

The Bedeken - Veiling Ceremony

At the conclusion of the receptions Naftali will be escorted by a procession toward Mushka accompanied by the singing of a special nigun Chassidic melody composed by the Alter Rebbe Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi (1745 - 1812). Naftali will approach Mushka and place a veil over her face symbolizing that his interest in her extends beyond her physical beauty to encompass her inner beauty of character. In covering her face Mushka also emulates our Matriarch Rebecca who covered her face out of modesty when she saw Isaac for the first time. At this special moment the couple’s fathers and grandfathers will bless Mushka that she will be as worthy as our Matriarchs who built the Jewish nation. The bride's face remains veiled for the duration of the Chuppah ceremony affording her privacy at this holy time. The bride and groom then proceed with their Chuppah preparations and everyone else continues to the site of the Chuppah.

The Chuppah

The wedding ceremony takes place under a Chuppah canopy. Open on all four sides the Chuppah is also likened to Abraham and Sarah’s tent the first Jewish home which according to tradition had entrances on all four sides as a reflection of their great hospitality. The Chuppah stands outdoors under the stars to reflect G-d’s promise to our holy ancestors that their children will be as numerous as the stars of heaven. Furthermore a Chuppah held under the open heavens symbolizes the couple's resolve to establish a household that will be dominated by spiritual ideals.

It is a custom for those leading the groom and bride to carry candles symbolizing that the couple’s life together will be one of light and joy. In addition the candles represent the light of the souls of the bride and groom’s ancestors who descend from their heavenly abode to join the wedding celebration. When Mushka joins Naftali under the Chuppah she will circle him seven times. Seven signifies a creative completion like the seven days of creation, a passage beyond the physical into the spiritual. Just as the seventh day became the Sabbath a spiritual day and the day that completed the creation of the world, so do the seven circles around the groom signify their completed quest for each other. Seven also symbolizes the seven times a man wraps the Tefillin straps around his arm. Just as a man binds himself in love of G-d so is he bound in love to his bride.

During the Chuppah it is customary in certain communities for the groom to wear a Kittel, a long white frock traditionally worn on Yom Kippur. The groom’s pristine white garment and the bride's gown are symbols of G‑d's atonement and perfect purity.

The Chuppah ceremony is traditionally characterized by an air of solemnity. This is due to an acute awareness of the awe and magnitude of the moment. Indeed the Shechinah Divine Presence graces the presence of every Chuppah ceremony. The Chuppah is an opportune time for all personal prayers.

The Rebbe’s Letter

It was the Rebbe’s custom to respond to invitations to participate at a wedding by sending a letter of blessing to the groom and bride. The text of this letter is read at the beginning of the Chuppah ceremony thereby inviting these blessing to accompany Naftali and Mushka throughout their life.

The Ceremony

The ceremony begins with a blessing recited over wine symbolically setting the tone for the joyousness of the occasion followed by a blessing to designate the end of their engagement status and the beginning of the marriage ceremony. At the conclusion of the blessing Naftali and Mushka will drink from the cup of wine.

The ceremony itself is composed of two parts: Kiddushin betrothal and Nissuin marriage. The essence of Kiddushin is when Naftali gives Mushka a ring in the presence of two witnesses. Placing an unadorned gold band on Mushka's finger Naftali will declare “Behold you are consecrated unto me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel”. The ring used at the ceremony symbolizes an unspoken prayer: just as the ring is of plain gold without any engraving so too is it hoped that their marriage will be one of simple beauty without “bumps”. By accepting the ring Mushka consents to the marriage. Following the giving of the ring the kesubah is read aloud. This reading serves to clearly distinguish between the two distinct ceremonies of betrothal and nuptials allowing for the recitation of another blessing over wine.

Sheva Brochos - The Seven Blessings

The ceremony continues with the reciting of seven blessings over a second cup of wine. Different people are called upon to recite these blessings which acknowledge and praise G-d the Creator of the world and humankind; the marriage of Naftali and Mushka; and the couple's happiness and the raising of a family. The last blessing brings the ceremony to its height of joy with praises for love friendship peace and joy. Following the last blessing Mushka and Naftali will sip the wine.

Breaking the Glass

Although filled with a sense of joy throughout the wedding, the groom breaks a glass as a sign that even at this happiest time we remember the destruction of Jerusalem and its Holy Temple. This emphasizes that our joy is not complete as long as the Jewish people are still in exile and we pray for the redemption speedily in our days. In remembering this event Mushka and Naftali are connected to their past and reminded of their obligation to “rebuild the Temple” in their own lives by establishing their own Jewish home. At this time the Chuppah is concluded with festive song and shouts of Mazal Tov!

Yichud

The final part of the marriage ceremony is the Yichud time of privacy which seals the marriage. The Yichud room affords the bride and groom their first opportunity to spend a few private moments together as husband and wife. While in the Yichud room the couple who have been fasting share some food together.

Dinner & Dancing

When Naftali and Mushka enter the ballroom all of the guests rise to greet them and celebrate their marriage. Participating in a wedding feast and gladdening the hearts of the bride and groom on their special day is a great Mitzvah. The Talmud relates that the greatest Sages set aside their otherwise never-interrupted Torah study for the sake of entertaining a new couple with song and dance.

When the bride and groom join their guests they are ceremoniously greeted with music singing and dancing. The men with the groom and the women with the bride traditionally dance in separate areas with a Mechitzah partition placed between the two sections. The singing and dancing continue throughout the evening. Everyone is encouraged to participate in the dancing and festivities!

A Jewish marriage which creates a link between past generations and future generations is regarded as much more than a private milestone for the couple and their families; it is a historic momentous event for the community at large and the Jewish nation as a whole!

Sheva Brachos

The wedding meal is followed by Birkas HaMazon Grace after Meals and the recitation of the Sheva Brachos. The same seven blessings recited beneath the Chuppah are repeated now. These seven blessings draw Divine energy for the couple's married life. A beautiful event has now reached its conclusion.

For seven days following the wedding a festive party is hosted each evening by close family and friends in honor of the new couple thereby extending the joy of the wedding for the entire week.

A solid foundation of joy spirituality and blessing has been laid for the eternal edifice that is a new Jewish home accompanied by the support of loving family and friends.

We look forward to having you share in our great joy on this special day!

May we all share many continued simchas and happy occasions together!

We look forward to dancing & celebrating with you!

The Blesofsky and Rotenberg Families