TRADITIONS & WHAT TO EXPECT

INTRODUCTION

A Jewish wedding is full of meaningful rituals, symbolizing the beauty of the relationship between the couple as well as their obligations to one another and the world around them. These laws and customs help us connect to the meaning of the experience. We have outlined them consecutively/ in order of the schedule.

According to Jewish belief, when two people are destined to get married to each other, they complete one another, and become one soul. It is believed that on this day, all their past mistakes are forgiven as they merge into a new soul together.

Make sure you ask for a blessing from the bride and groom on that day! Since it is such a holy day for the couple, it is customary for them to share that holiness with their guests by giving blessings.

If you have any questions or would like to learn more about our customs and laws after you read the information in the following pages, PLEASE feel free to reach out! We want our wedding to be as meaningful to you as it is to us.

BEFORE THE WEDDING

Before the wedding, the groom and bride don't see each other for a couple of days, increasing anticipation. They each reflect and prepare themselves for the new journey they are about to embark on.

KABBALAT PANIM

First, guests arrive and enjoy the Kabbalat Panim (reception). The bride and groom are in different rooms of the venue, greeted by their guests separately. The bride's room is called the Hachnasat Kallah and the groom's room is called the Chossen’s Tish. In the groom's room, the Ketuba (marriage contract) will be signed. Appetizers and drinks will be served.

BADEKEN

After the reception, there will be a veiling ceremony, the Badeken. The groom is accompanied by his family and friends to veil his bride, which symbolizes that he is marrying her for her inner beauty. It also shows commitment of protection of his bride. The tradition also dates back to when our ancestor Jacob married the wrong daughter when his father in law tricked him, so the groom checks to see it's really his bride.

CHUPPA

After the veiling, the guests get ready for the Chuppa ceremony. The Chuppa symbolizes the new home the couple will build together. The Chuppa has a roof but no walls. This symbolizes that real security comes from within and shows the couple's unconditional hospitality, just like our ancestors had.

THE SEVEN CIRCLES

During the Chuppa (after they walk down the aisle), the bride will circle around the groom 7 times. As the world was built in seven days according to the Torah, the number symbolizes completion and holiness within time and space. So when a couple is about to set up a home and begin a “full life,” it is fitting that this symbolism be reflected in the marriage ceremony and the wholeness and completeness they cannot attain separately. The bride is also figuratively building the walls of the couple's new world together, forming a wall of protection. Lastly, it symbolizes that they are and will be the center of each others lives.

KIDDUSHIN (BEROTHRAL) AND THE RING

At the Chuppa, a few blessings will be recited by the Rabbi for the personal commitment the couple are making each other. Accompanied by two glasses of wine, which they will drink from. Then, the wedding rings will be given.

KETUBA READING

There will be no "yes" moment at our wedding. At the Chuppa, the groom gifts the bride a ring and the previously signed Ketuba (marriage contract) is read aloud and passed on to her.

THE SEVEN BLESSINGS (SHEVA BRACHOT)

Still at the Chuppa, seven beautiful blessings are said for the couple. The community responds with "amen" to each, followed by singing of a melody. These blessings are often recited by close family and friends. Upon completion of all these blessings, the bride and groom drink from a cup of wine.

BREAKING OF THE GLASS

No doubt we've all seen this in every movie where there's a Jewish wedding. To end the full Chuppa ceremony, the groom will break the glass. The reason this is done is to symbolize even at a time of great joy, such as a marriage, we recognize that the world is still “broken” as we recall the destruction of the temple and the pain and suffering of the Jewish people in exile. Therefore, after the glass is broken, we do not shout “Mazel Tov,” as this is a sad moment. Instead, the breaking of glass is followed by the singing of a song morning for and yearning for the return to Jerusalem.

YICHUD

After the Chuppa ceremony is over, the guests continue on to the dining room, the bride and groom take a private moment to embrace being newly married and be alone for a while in the Yichud (seclusion) room.

THE FIRST DANCE AND THE MEAL

It is a mitzvah (a good deed) for guests to bring joy to the bride and groom on their special day. The couple will enter the hall by running through a bunch of arches that people hold for them, the first dance will take place (before main course is served). When we say "first dance"- we mean, all together! Unlike non-Jewish weddings, our first dance will be shared with everyone. Don't be shy to grab a hand and join in to dance some hora with us!

Although the seating for meals will be men and women mixed together, initially, the dance floor at first will be separated, with men on one side and women on the other. Everyone will come together a little later in the night. After we dance hora for a while, the rest of your meals will be served.

SHEVA BRACHOT (AGAIN) AND BENCHING

According to Jewish law, we bless Gd for our food both before and after eating it. Benching (Grace After Meals) is recited after any meal that contained bread. At a wedding, it is proceeded by a repeat of the same Sheva Brachot (Seven Blessings) that were said at the Chuppa. The Sheva Brachos are again said over a glass of wine, but this time the wine starts in two separate cups and then is poured into a third cup to represent the bride and groom.

THE SECOND DANCE, FUNNY SHTICKS & DESSERT!

The Second Dance - once again, all together, will be after the guests are done eating.

During the Second Dance, guests bring the bride and groom some entertainment and joy through performing "shticks". What is a shtick, you may ask! A shtick is a gimmick, comic routine, or performance. Juggling, dance choreographies, jumping jacks in masks, funny t-shirts, costumes etc. Are all ideas! Get creative, everybody!

Celebrations and the party will then continue with men and women uniting. Dessert and wedding cake will be served, accompanied by more dancing!

We know this is a lot of information, but there will be many people guiding those of you who are able to make it to our special day. And, again, PLEASE reach out with any questions! We hope you can join us!