Summer 2018 might be the start of our relationship, but that was only the tip of the iceberg. The foundations were laid long before in our churches and families and a million and one experiences. Our story isn’t even really ours. It's God’s story! We are just the supporting actors:) Before we were even created He saw the future, two people, equally beloved by Him, and both willing to let their lives honor His story. In His infinite wisdom, He decided to introduce them to each other in June 2018.

April 1, 1994 (no joke) Enter Ryan Eli Erpelding. Born to Richard and Bonnie Erpelding in Kasson, Minnesota, Ryan came into the world welcomed by a big, close-knit family. Raised in small town Minnesota, learning and growing, climbing trees and trying new things, Ryan developed a taste for adventure and a wonder for the natural world around him. As the years passed, he took on the roles of learning how to be a big brother, a reliable teammate in many sports, and a motivated student, never losing his spirit of simple, honest fun (classic 7 - enneagram anyone? ) His pursuit of fun took him to many amazing places, from the Dominican Republic, to the University of Wisconsin Whitewater, to the Golden Coast of Australia, to a small island off the coast of Africa, to Florida, to Oregon, and to California. Throughout it all, his desire to walk by faith and trust God increased.

February 3, 1998 (Ryan was 4 and most likely just discovering his sweet tooth) Enter Olivia Rae Jeffcoat. Born to David and Marsha Jeffcoat in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, she joined a quiet, peaceful family with one older sister named Faith. God teaches her grace and joy over the years. She grows in love for her family and friends, always wondering how she could possibly find space in her heart to love one more person, but the space is always there. She takes a little piece with her of each place that she goes… a bit of Idaho, a touch of Iowa, a slice of South Dakota, a trace of South Africa, and a handful of California. In her pursuit of meaningfulness, she finds herself in LA studying at Azusa Pacific University where she continues to grow in her joy of fulfilling the Creator’s Good Plan.

Fast forward to June of 2018. Olivia had just returned home from a semester in Cape Town, South Africa. Ryan had just moved to her hometown after living for some months in Cape Verde, Africa. Giving Crescent City Foursquare Church a chance one evening, Ryan connected with Pastor Reid Powell who invited him to a young adult Bible Study group. A few hours later, in a divine meeting that God had been planning for thousands of years, Ryan first met Olivia. It was in a 50’s themed diner as she carried in flour and sugar to bake cookies with the YA group. It wasn’t love at first sight, but two kindred spirits definitely found an unexpected friend that night.

Excerpt from Olivia’s prayer journal: (July 15, 2018) "Dear LORD, I am fairly super super certain that you want me to meet up with Ryan. I don’t know why. I think we have something to learn from each other for this short season. I feel a lot more comfortable knowing we can be friends. We inspire each other, and that’s pretty cool. God, our friendship seems to be revolving around you too and that’s pretty awesome. Maybe that’s why it feels so right. God, please use this short time we have together for Ryan and I to learn more about you. And God, help us build each other up spiritually, to encourage and inspire each other to dive deeper into faith. I guess we’re both super eager to share our life stories with each other. I just haven’t had many deep conversations since Africa… not spiritual ones anyway. God, this summer you placed me very close to a few people for a reason. I’m so blessed that you are working through me this way and I feel so guided and encouraged by YOU God. I feel that you really are directing my life down the right path. Amen"

Excerpt from Olivia’s prayer journal: (July 17, 2018) "Dear God, THANK YOU! You REALLY answered my prayer but I’m not surprised because God you’re always faithful. My brain is still going so fast right now. It seems like Ryan and I have a ton in common. We can talk and talk and talk for hours without a single pause in the conversation. Ryan and I walked at the ocean for three hours and my feet were frozen since the last hour was in the dark and our feet were wet and bare. God, thank you that I found a good Christian friend who I can talk to about prayer and the Bible and my hardships and all the places God has been present in my life story. "

(Olivia's prayer continued) "God, thank you for sending a person I’m super comfortable around. Honestly we’re so similar it almost feels like I’m talking to myself. And there wasn’t a single moment where I felt like it was romantic! Yay friendship. I can’t bother with romance right now. Thank you LORD for this blessed night; thank you that Ryan and I found each other and bless each other. :) Yay! Thanks that our friendship revolves around you. I’m totally a weirdo but Ryan doesn’t seem to mind. Wow God this is nothing short of a miracle. I’m really happy. Thank you. Amen"

When I first met him, I kept marveling at how my admiration of God increased every time I was with Ryan. I figured that was a sure sign to do whatever I could to spend more time with that person, and so we spent the whole summer adventuring together.

When I was a child, I determined that I only wanted to date one person. I wanted to learn and grow and experience all the mysteries of love with one person. Ryan and I both separately chose not to date anyone until we met someone we confidently intended to marry; i.e., each other. Ryan figured it out over a year before I did, but when I asked for one year of “friendship and pen pals” (yep a hard friend zone) and reminded him of the patience of Jacob and Rachel. To his credit, he agreed graciously and I returned to college. Despite my worries that we wouldn’t be able to sustain what we had started, over the following long-distance year we grew in friendship, communication, understanding, closeness, and inevitably, love. Being patient is difficult, but in my opinion, it is beyond worth the wait.

Excerpt from a letter from Ryan to Olivia: (August 12, 2018) "I love that verse you shared in Philippians 4:7- also in Colossians 3:15. That's what I'm seeking now- the peace of Christ. I feel like I am pursuing Christ as my first love and am actually really excited about where He will take me next!... I'm happy to trust God's timing and direction- even if it means different paths. Contentment is my goal :) and it was a great reminder at Church today!... God is laughing at me I'm sure of it. He clearly sees where we will be in 10 years and is getting a kick out of the 2018 Ryan and everything he is worried about and hoping for. I guess that's why following His direction and timing is key. I'll be a work in progress :) although I'm never reading the story of Jacob, Rachel, and Rebekah ever again!

(Ryan's Letter Continued) "Psalm 37:5,6 "Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to Pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the Light and your justice as the noon day."... I'll be curious to know how many days it will take for letters to come & go via the trusty snail mail. You may have moved into your housing and even started classes already! Praying the chemistry between you and your roommates is amazing, and that your calculator runs smoothly. :) It was a great summer! Keep your eyes on Christ! After awhile, crocodile. Ryan"

After the 12th of August 2018, Ryan honored my request. We spent an entire year as friends and pen pals without talking about the potentiality of a relationship. Instead, we wrote letters about nearly everything else. We talked about books we were reading, and adventures we had with our friends. We recommended songs to each other. I told him about things I was learning in school, and sometimes even sent him notes from particularly fascinating lectures. He told me surfing stories about scoring barrels or having gnarly wipeouts. We drew pictures. I asked him how his family was doing. He asked me what my roommates were up to. We talked about politics, theology, philosophy, and world issues. We mourned injustice and tragedies together. We celebrated victories and told corny jokes. We talked about boring daily life, like what kind of cereal we ate that morning. I knew he was a biologist, so I asked him about plants and animals. He knew I was a math major, so sometimes he sent fun math problems for me to solve.

From then on, Ryan and I wrote long letters back and forth, nearly monthly. We were careful to sidestep talk about our own feelings, but that did not stop us from having amazing conversations. Having this season ensured for certain that if we were to take romance from our relationship, we would still be left with lots of common interests, great teamwork, shared beliefs, and meaningful experiences. Even with all of this, I still wondered what God’s will for me was.

Excerpt from Olivia’s prayer journal: (September 5, 2019) "God I don’t quite understand how you created something so permanent like spending your whole life with one person. Like, that’s a crazy idea. Does it work? Is it good? Well, my parents have been together for 24 years and they aren’t tired of loving each other yet. I need to hang out with more old couples and see how that works. Help me out LORD. How could I possibly do something like that? Olivia"

Excerpt of a letter from Ryan to Olivia: (Tuesday, October 9, 2018) "Hey Olivia! Last day at the job as an ODFW fish sampler! Bit of a bummer that there are so few boats out. It'd be nice to say so long to a lot of these local fishermen. They kinda grew on me over the summer... Wow these last two months went fast! Honestly it doesn't seem like that long ago I was packing my car to head west from Minnesota! I packed up a lot of the stuff at the house last night. It's exciting and a little bit sad too. I've really been praying and asking God what my next step will be, but so far He hasn't revealed it to me. So there's a chance it could be a while before I see all the super cool Foursquare Church peeps again. "

Excerpt of a letter from Ryan to Olivia: (Sunday October 14, 2018) "Hi again! We've departed on our research cruise and Day 1 is in the books! It is currently midnight- just got off my first 12 hour watch. Soo much information. But I've successfully completed 4 "casts," which are basically sampling sites. Biggest thing I noticed about today was the rocking and rolling of the boat. I imagine it's similar to an earthquake. Definitely gonna take some getting used to! I kinda enjoy it. First time I've been rocked to sleep in 24 years lol. But I'm falling asleep now. Quick devotion and then lights out. Wow I'm not going to see land when I wake up! 'gnight Ryan"

Fast forward once again to July of 2019. God had made it clear that I ought to serve him by taking a trip to love and teach people in the Middle East. He miraculously provided a way for me, and complete peace of mind in knowing that He would use me for his Good Plan for the world on this journey. Up to that point, the people of the Middle East had been holding a sizable occupancy in my heart and prayers, and the Lord had kept my focus on them rather than a potential relationship. However, once I stepped out in obedience to God by traveling there, He made my love for Ryan clear to me. I kept praying in my heart, “Lord let me serve you,” and God would whisper back, “Olivia, you can serve me better as a team.” I didn’t understand right away. “But Lord,” I would argue, “Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7 that a woman who is married must concern herself with both pleasing God and pleasing her husband. Being married means splitting my heart. I want to give you all my heart!” He would remind me of Ryan and repeat, “Olivia, you can serve me better as a team. This is your teammate.” I heard this message in my heart for months before I was brave enough to accept it. I doubted if the voice I was hearing was from God.

Although Ryan flew to Crescent City right after I returned from the Middle East and visited me, I didn’t mention anything to him yet. Sometimes it is not easy to recognize God’s voice or discern it from your own thoughts and feelings, especially when you are listening to the pressures of the world more often than God’s word. Sometimes he asks us to do something instead of commanding or forcing us. I had to overcome all the walls we have put up between my fears and my obedience to God.

Excerpt from Olivia’s prayer journal: (September 4, 2019) "I didn’t mention anything to Ry over the summer concerning us, and now I’ve had time to sort out my convoluted thoughts. Now that my feelings and opinions are layed out, the evidence is kind of overwhelming. I knew the pros and cons chart for pursuing a relationship with Ryan would be lopsided, but it is currently 214 pros to 7 cons. Finally I feel shame leaving as I focus on TRUTH and on your love LORD. YOU are pure, unadulterated, perfect love. You called us to accept your love so that we can pass on your love to others. God, I am holding back from love because I am scared and proud. The lies are weak, the truth is strong. When I write them side by side I have to laugh. Why do I give lies so much power? Why let them control my life at this point when I am seeing clearly how you provide and how you are trying to draw me deeper into your kingdom and your community, giving me a chance to learn your heart and love like you? It’s hard to find a single piece of evidence that says marrying Ryan is not your will and desire for me. Good grief, God. I love you and I’ll talk to you soon. Olivia"

God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey Him and the power to do what pleases him. Philippians 2:13

September 22 was the day when my commitment to Ryan was made official and I promised to give him my life and love, something he had been decided about for a long time. For many others, officially agreeing to date is a milestone only for “giving each other a chance” but for us, it was as binding as the engagement ring itself.

In March, I was sent home early from college to finish getting my degrees through online school and quarantine began. Ryan lived in Oceanside (near San Diego) and I returned to Crescent City. Covid brought more physical distance between us, but our confidence about our future together stayed. Ryan and I spent the following year continuing to write letters, have Bible studies each night over video chat, celebrating our monthly anniversaries from 814 miles away, and wondering how many weeks or months it would be until we finally saw each other in person.

“Always reaching, always climbing Always second-guessing the timing But God has a plan, A purpose in this.” Reason- Unspoken

On August 12, 2020, on a trip to Minnesota to visit Ryan’s family and celebrate his sister Kelly’s wedding, Ryan made it official by proposing atop a beautiful hike in Whitewater State Park. And despite forgetting to hit record on his phone, as well as offering me fruit snacks to stall for time, it was a moment neither of us will ever forget. A few minutes after, I spotted my first pileated woodpecker… a sight which had been at the top of my birdwatching bucket list for years, and also one of the first common interests I discovered I shared with Ryan two years before. After bonding over the pileated on our first hike ever and finally seeing one together on our engagement hike, we took it as a mini miracle… one of dozens of confirmations God had given both of us over the years.

It’s exciting to go into a relationship with such joy and hope and promise. But one thing that has been so incredibly important to the journey that both of us have undergone, is the trust and relationship with Christ. He leads. He really does, and His perspective is way higher than ours. We are nowhere close to perfect. But Jesus is, and He created and embodies love. So when we hear love is patient, kind, etc…, we have to look at the author of love, whose spirit is in us and enables us to live that kind of love out. Our goal is to have Jesus smile at us as we go about this crazy, amazing new chapter of life! Our story has just barely begun.