Sabrina’s Version

I was invited by my friends Denise and Bills for Labor Day celebrations at their home on Long Island in 2020. I took the train out from hot NYC, excited to spend time with my good friends. Much to my delight Denise’s mom, Marilyn, also joined us. I had not seen much of her in about 35 years – since our collage days. She and I caught up in the pool and over dinner.

A few days later I was on my way to work in NYC, where I lived, when I received text from Denise. Her mom was asking if I would be interested in meeting “a nice boy.” The answer was, ‘I don’t think so….but tell me more.” Denise explained that her mom’s friend, Blanche, was looking for, “A nice Italian girl for my Mikey.” That she “wanted to do a mitzvah.” So Marilyn thought of me, and………

I was hesitant (whom among us has not had their share of horrifying blind dates) – but agreed to speak to Michael because I thought it was pretty cute that these two older women were trying to introduce us. Two days later I received a call from him. He left a voice mail. After listening to the message no less than 5 times I called back the next day. We agreed to speak on the phone a few days later.

He called and we spoke…..for hours. It was easy, fun, interesting, and he was sweet and charming. We schedule our first “date” a Covid date (virtual) and arranged to have dinner together – him at his place, me at mine. And, we spoke…….for hours again. He was polite, fun, interesting and interested, a gentleman, and we had more things in common than most would believe, I think even than we believed.

It became obvious how much he loved his friends and how much they loved him back. One of my first impressions was, “Michael was raised by good people.” Incidentally, it was during this conversation that Michael first learned his ancestors (Neopolitain) were the first to make pizza. He was shocked and so grateful for the information. We discovered we were both primarily of Italian descent, we both loved to cook, he grew pumpkins, I LOVE pumpkins, we had each traveled quite a lot, grew up in NY, and were both avid Rangers fans (I had no idea who they were). And he tried to convince me he was “outdoorsy” – he’s still trying. I wasn’t even sure the Rangers were a hockey team. Despite that fact he still wanted another date. We agreed on a date the following Tuesday in NYC, which meant he was going to drive in from Long Island. I was flattered and excited.

Tuesday came and my doorman rang up letting me know Michael was on the way up – which surprised me a bit because I intended to meet him downstairs. I was waiting in my doorway in the foyer, the elevator door opened, and my future husband walked out. My first thought was, “Wow – he’s handsome – and adorable!” He was holding a pumpkin from his garden in one hand (that he apparently promised to a friend’s 3 year old), and a homemade pumpkin cheesecake that he made just for me, in the other. He came upstairs to put the cheesecake in my fridge. He was nervous, polite, excited – no airs - and that he melted my heart immediately. And the pumpkin cheesecake didn’t hurt one bit either.

Michael made reservations at a nearby Italian restaurant. I really enjoyed his company, it was easy to be with him. When we returned home we sat on my couch and spoke for hours about everything. He went home very late and probably got 3 hours of sleep that night.

People often ask how I knew he was “the one.” It was gradual for me, but it was also immediate. I think the universe knew immediately, and it took me awhile to get the message. He made me feel safe, comfortable, admired, respected, prioritized, and secure. He was kind and loving to my family and his. On one of our first dates Junior and Marybeth (his son and daughter – in –law) called to say they just got engaged. I noticed the love between them and thought, “This is a good guy.”

Another defining moment was that Thanksgiving. I invited Michael to my sister Daisy’s (in Massachusetts) – out of politeness more than anything else – not expecting him to accept. When he immediately said yes, I was surprised / happy / nervous. The plan was for him to come up Friday after Thanksgiving. I assumed he would arrive at about 3pm or so, it’s a long trip. At 11am the doorbell rang, I opened the door and saw Michael standing there with the biggest smile on his face, arms filled with the most thoughtful gifts for my family, including his homemade tomato sauce. He woke up at 4am to get the first Long Island Sound ferry, because he wanted to be there as soon as possible. I couldn’t stop smiling all day.

That weekend I received some cautionary words from my sisters to the effect of, ‘If you do anything to mess this up we are disowning you and keeping him.” More defining moments were when Michael, Mama Bella, Angie and I went to visit Cynthia at her home in Massachusetts. As Cynthia referred to it, “To seal the deal.” To which Mama Bella responded, “You don’t need to seal it, it’s already sealed.”

Cynthia and Michael got along very well, and she may not of “sealed the deal” but she had such a nice gathering for us. And they have been talking about her ever since. Cynthia told me after that visit that she loved how Michael treated me, that I seemed so “me” around him, and that we were adorable together.

Another defining moment was when we went to visit Michael’s cousin, Rose and her family. Within about 20 minutes of us being there Rose announced, “I have a feeling about this one. I have a feeling.” On our way to our cars later that evening Rose pulled me aside and had one of the most important, and impactful, conversations anyone had had with me up to that point. She explained how much they all loved Michael, how important he was and how proud they were of him, how much she adored him and how special he was to her. She hoped I was serious about him. That may have been the moment I really “knew.” I understood how loved and cherished Michael was, how precious he was to his friends and family. And with Roses words I realized how deeply I already loved and cherished him. Soon after I spoke to my niece Ann and nephew Joe, and asked what they thought. In their young adult ways they told me it was a “no brainer.”

And that is how our story started.

Michael’s Version

It was Labor Day 2020. We were 5 miles apart on Long Island, and didn’t even know it. A few days later two women went on a walk and had a conversation that would change our lives forever.

On that weekend, in Commack, I saw Blanche at a BBQ at her daughter and my good friend Beth’s house. I had no idea that my future wife was so close in Smithtown, at her friend Denise’s house.

A few days later I got a text from my good friend Carrie (Blanche’s other daughter) asking if I was open to a blind date. I asked who she had in mind, and Carrie explained that Blanche mentioned to her friend Marilyn that she was looking for a girl for a “nice Italian guy” she knew. I said “sure, why not?”

Carrie told Blanche who told Marilyn who told her daughter Denise, that I was open to the idea. Little did I know that Sabrina was not so quick about it. Sabrina (which I now know needed some coaxing) agreed to let Denise give her phone number to Marilyn, who gave it to Blanche ,who gave it to Carrie, who sent it to me.

The next night I called Sabrina, and got her voice mail. My first impression was that she had such a sweet voice. I get that same feeling to this day whenever I get her voicemail. We set up a call, and then a Facetime first date, and eventually a real first date in Manhattan.

On our first call on September 11, which lasted for hours we talked about our common interests like cooking, vegetable gardening, history, trivia, and the outdoors. When I talked about my Italian heritage and describing myself as close to Napolitano, Sabrina asked me if I knew pizza originated in Naples. Despite that and that she lied to me about following hockey, we had a virtual/Facetime dinner date a few days later. We talked and laughed again for hours. I was floored by her beauty, charm, sweetness, and intelligence. We ended the Facetime by agreeing to have a “real” date.

September 22, 2020 was a Tuesday ,and I drove into the City. Any doubts that there could be a “geographic undesirability” to this situation were assuaged by the fact that the drive was quick and within minutes I found a parking spot on 86th between Park & Madison - right up the block from Sabrina’s apartment. I chalked that up to COVID, but I later found that there was some higher power at work, because after that whenever I drove to Sabrina’s apartment, I found a parking spot right in front. Being early, I waited a few minutes for my nerves to calm down. Pumpkin cheesecake and a pumpkin from my garden in-hand I walked to her apartment building. The doorman let me in, announced my arrival, and I took the first of many journeys up to her apartment.

I got off the elevator and Sabrina was waiting for me with the door open and what I have come to love as her big beautiful smile. I put down the cake and pumpkin, and I think it was me that said “can we hug?” and we hugged; I remember how sweet she smelled. We made our way down the elevator, which stopped to let a family of 3 or 4 in. We got to the first floor and started to make our way out, Sabrina put her hand out to gesture for them to go first, and I reached for her hand thinking she was offering it to me. Despite the immediate re-coil, we made our way to the restaurant and had a lovely dinner. By then my nerves subsided, and I could just enjoy Sabrina’s company. She was polite and proper, but very warm and just herself. We walked back to her apartment where we spoke for hours and had pumpkin cheesecake and tea for dessert.

I had what would be my first trip of many to Maine scheduled for later that week to last through the weekend. I learned that Sabrina had been there several times as she has friends and family who live there. She put together suggestions for things to do and places to eat for me and my friends. We kept in touch throughout my trip and texted every day. I filled my friends in about Sabrina and told them how great a date I just had with this beautiful and smart woman.

We have been back to Maine together several times since then to see our friends Kathy and Jim that live in Kennebunk, and Daisy’s family that have a second home in Norway. My best time in Maine so far has been our camping trip on Isle au Haut – part of Acadia National Park where we slept in a lien-to under a bug net.

After a few more dates, we both realized that we should stop counting. Those early dates included a wonderful picnic Sabrina made for us at Lyndhurst Manor in Tarrytown (our second date, our first kiss, and when she celebrated my birthday with gusts including a Coffee mug with presidential campaign slogans, and a National Parks calendar), a day in Union Square going to the farmer’s market and where we discovered our favored Asian noodle place, and hiking in Cold Spring, NY. Over the next few months, we met each other’s families and friends, and I was always (and still am) so excited and proud to introduce such a wonderful lady to my friends and family as my fiancée.

Fast forward three years, and after our cat Boots became somewhat of a “city cat” taking regular railroad trips into Manhattan for the weekend, here we are living together on Long Island (a stone’s throw from where Sabrina grew up) and planning our wedding. Sabrina has taught me so much over the last three plus years. We have shared each other’s likes and made each other’s wants our own. We commute on the railroad together on the days that we both go into Manhattan – do the New York Times mini-Crossword, chat about our upcoming day, and what to cook together for dinner – or sometimes just take a nap on each other’s shoulder.

One of my favorite things is to share my interests with her. She has become a New York Ranger fan, although I had to strongly dissuade her from switching to the expansion Seattle Kraken. You may not know this but Sabrina lived in Seattle for a time and still has strong roots there where had a coffee business-one of her many careers. When we started discussing how we each liked to travel, Sabrina insisted I wouldn’t like her way which is to travel and live among the locals, and scoffed at my suggestion that we take a cruise. Now, after two cruises, she is hooked, and often asks where are we going next. It made me so happy to be there and she her beautiful face light up when she first put her toes in the Caribbean, and I knew that I had to bring her back there to propose.

Sabrina has taught me about needlepointing, and buys me kits in my areas of interest, like tone of the White House. For our first Christmas she got me cross-country skis and boots and was so excited teaching me how to ski at her favorite park - Caumsett. Sabrina is a great cook, but before meeting me hadn’t baked much. Now she may be a better baker than I am. She is quick to bake birthday cakes for family and friends or just a dessert for after Sunday dinner.

We became engaged on Valentine’s Day in February 2023 on the balcony of our room in Saint Martin overlooking the Caribbean. It was somewhat disguised as my gift to Sabrina for her 60th Birthday. We arrived there on February 10, it was Super Bowl Sunday – something I overlooked when booking the trip. I had dinners planned for every night of our stay, but a special one for February 14, 2023 because it was Valentine’s Day (a special occasion in and of itself). I had a ring I got from Amazon for $14.99 (Daisy’s suggestion) in my carry-on bag that looked somewhat like the ring that I designed with a local jeweler in Northport which was not ready yet.

As it was Valentine’s Day and we had reservations at the best French restaurant in Grand-Case (the French side of the island) we dressed nicer than usual for dinner and talked about taking some pictures on our balcony before dinner. It was then that I started the fumble of all fumbles. I started what I thought was a proposal that included things like “this isn’t the real ring, but …” between my welling up tears, and proceeded to put it on the wrong finger – it may have been the wrong finger, on the wrong hand. After asking “are you proposing?” and then realizing that it was actually a real proposal, Sabrina also started to cry. We went to dinner, and she told everyone we saw that “we just got engaged”, and was even happier to show the ring and say “this isn’t the real ring, but I love it!”

When we got home I picked up the real ring and we went to one of our favorite spots in Northport Harbor to a gazebo at the end of the pier. It was a cold, windy and rainy February night - the exact opposite of what we just came from. I proposed again, but this time got the hand and finger correct. Even though it was somewhat of a re-enactment, I was still nervous and was thinking just don’t drop it in the water.

In April 2023 Sabrina gave up her NYC apartment. It was a very difficult thing for her to do, but she packed the memories of her Nonna’s kitchen, her time spent there with friends, some furniture and paintings, to my house on Long Island, and over the last year has helped to make it our Home where we cook together, love and laugh. We have bird feeders and bird houses all over the yard (entertainment for Boots as much as us) and sit on our new porch, which Sabrina decorated beautifully, and just enjoy each other.

Sabrina has a tremendous heart. How many of us have walked through city streets and come across someone asking for money for food? Living and working in NYC, it happens to Sabrina and I almost daily. Sabrina instead of just reaching into her pocket, always asks, depending on the time of day “Can I get you a coffee and egg sandwich – how do like your coffee?”, or “Can I get you a soup and sandwich?”, and a few minutes later returns with might as well be a Thanksgiving dinner. More than once we have been rushing for a train or on our way somewhere with take -out in hand, and not having time to stop, has simply given up her entire dinner. I am not sure if one time a guy was just going to ask for directions, but ended up with a free meal in his hand.

I love that and so many other things about her, but most of all that she loves me, and I know she always has my back – as I have hers. Sabrina truly is my love, best friend and partner in life.

Q + A

Q + A coming soon!