Only person of the bridal party who knows the bride as a blonde. Prefers rocks to people. Loves dancing with strangers. Will lose her shoes after one too many drinks. The bride’s childhood bestie!

Forever looking at the bride with that face. Brides biggest bully. Blind as a bat. Loves airplanes. 3 hours behind for everything. The brides college bestie!

The brides favorite sister! Wishes she was 21. Will bribe you for alcohol. Tik tok enthusiast. Bullied by groom.

Will start a fight on behalf of the bride. She is party central - you don’t drink alone when she’s here. The brides best memories of college include her!

Has known the groom for 31 years now. Has seen him naked.. more than once. He has a poor taste in sports teams, and loves spending his paychecks on those teams. Government employee, and enjoys scenic canoe rides with a box of wine. The grooms favorite brother!

The grooms favorite Payne! Hannah Montana enthusiast. Sustained by Mich Ultra. Doesn’t believe in sleeves. And the grooms biggest man crush.

Has also seen the groom naked… many times. Thinks he’s good at hockey. Obsessed with a has been celebrity. And has biggest man crush on the groom.

Gluten is her arch nemesis. She tolerates the best man, but marrying her was the best decision he ever made! Proud to be a csams.

Our favorite nephew! Cheats at board games. Cupcake enthusiast. Bullied by groom.

Our favorite niece! Poops her pants daily. Hates cats, bananas, and avocados. Pees pants too.

The perfect person to marry us (watch for tears, we expect them to come quick!) Will trade one of daughters for groom. bigggg golf guy. Solid mustache. Married to Malibu Barbie herself.

A totally planned guest. Big Star Wars guy. Also poops his pants. Brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to his new Empire. The bride and grooms biggest joy!