Danielle - Our story starts off at a little church. Many, many years ago, I was engaged to another guy. This guy happened to get the Youth Pastor position at New Hope Church in Cape Coral, FL. It was there that I met middle school Skyler. As a youth leader, you always have a smaller group of students that you click with the most. And Skyler was one of those.
Fast forward a few years, and that relationship didn't work out and I had to leave New Hope. But I still kept in touch with many of the students or kept up with them on social media. But eventually they all grew up and moved on and I wasn't really in direct contact with any of them.
Skyler - It was Danielle who actually exposed me to my first Skillet concert! She was a great youth leader and quickly became a part of my family (although my sister Madi kinda already thought she was.) She was someone I could look up to and helped me through those weird middle school years.
Early into adulthood, I was sentenced to serve 3 years in prison due to some poor choices I had made. At first, I was angry with God and didn't understand why He would allow me to go through this. Shortly after my time began, I picked up the Bible and ACTUALLY began to read it for myself. The story of Joseph in Genesis really got to me and the Lord spoke to me and reminded why He had me there in that cell. The reminder of Genesis 50:20, that despite the enemy's plans for evil, God uses those same things for good. More importantly, He reminded me of my purpose and that my story would "bring about the saving of many lives."
Although I didn't realize it at the time, God was orchestrating things in a big way. Through my fear and anger, I began to seek Him and His will.
Danielle - Fast forward a few years more. God kept laying him on my heart and I just knew I was supposed to reach out to him. I was nervous about it. Why would he want to hear from me after all these years? Eventually I worked up the nerve and wrote to him - just as a former youth leader sending encouragement and prayers. I didn't expect much from it. Maybe he would respond...maybe he wouldn't.
Skyler - I was honestly super shocked when I received her letter, and very excited. It was a blessing to know that despite my circumstances, someone cared enough about me to reach out and tell me. Danielle is a brilliant advice-giver and became someone I could talk to again and look to for guidance (including guidance on my previous relationship 😬) Her love and support was also one of my first reminders of God's grace and unconditional love. I just didn't realize how much so.
Danielle - We ended up writing each other regularly for almost two years. Since he was an adult now...the dynamic of our relationship was able to change and grow and we became friends. He became someone that I could share and talk to as well. There was mutual encouragement and support. I was so proud of him and all that God was doing in his heart and through him.
Skyler - I would wait and look forward to receiving another letter from Danielle, to hear about the most recent experience with Dolly (their backyard squirrel) or whatever new was going on. Even better was, I looked forward to the always wise advice from her and her "brother from another mother and father" Ben (who will be officiating this wedding!) It was such an encouragement!
As it neared time for me to come back home, I began to make big plans for the future and looked forward to my release date. With all that Christ was doing in my heart, one of the most important "plans" to think about was a church family. God and I made an "agreement" that I wouldn't be going back to my home church New Hope. There were to many people who knew about my past, and shame and guilt crept in. I set off on the search for a new church home!
Danielle - After that time, we finally met up in person. We met for dinner at Skyline Chili. We checked in with each other here and there.
Skyler - I began the "church hop" for awhile in hopes that God would lead me to the perfect place. At our Skyline Chili dinner, Danielle had mentioned again that there would always be a seat next to them at New Hope if I decided to join. I politely declined not realizing that God had other plans.
Awoken bright and early, I was on my own for church for the first time (since my mentor was gone for the week.) Urged by the Holy Spirit (at least 3 times), I begrudgingly walked in the door at New Hope Church again. Greeted by none other than Ms. Liz Dotson! Here, is where God reminded me of His grace and love once again. And there I sat next to Danielle and her family filled once again with the joy of the Lord!
Danielle - Once Skyler came back to New Hope (which long story short...I ended up coming back to after Covid), we started spending a bit more time together. Lunch after church sometimes. Eventually we started texting more regularly and the time we spent together increased. I found myself going to places and doing things I normally wouldn't (like Goodwill shopping) just to spend time with him. But I didn't think anything of it except that I was really enjoying having a friend to hang out with.
Skyler - Danielle was such a great friend to me and I was so grateful that God had led our paths to cross again. It was like having another sister in my life! Just what I needed 🤣
Danielle - But things changed in December of 2022. We went to dinner at Pinchers one night and I was sharing a bit more about my story with the past relationship and expressing frustration that I still didn't understand the purpose in all of it. After we were done eating, Skyler went off to the bathroom and as I was sitting at the table, something very weird happened. I started seeing these little clips of my life - all these things that led to me being at this restaurant with Skyler. And then I heard a voice clear as could be that said, "I'm going to need you to start looking at Skyler differently now." I was freaking out!!!! When he came out of the bathroom, I just kept telling myself to act normal. ACT NORMAL!
When I got in the car to drive home, I immediately started a very intense conversation with God. I proceeded to tell Him how crazy this idea was. Why it made no sense! I was convinced I had eaten some very bad shrimp!
But by the time I got home, I had this quietness in my spirit. And I just told God, "Ok...if this is real, then I'm open to what you have to say. But I've been wrong so many times before...I'm going to need a lot of confirmation along the way. And I'm going to need to be convinced that he could see me that way too."
Time went on and I slowly got used to the idea. Even as friends, Skyler has loved me and cared for me more than any other guy has. He cared about my feelings and he made me feel seen and known. He was already healing my heart from so much past damage. I was constantly overwhelmed with the way he treated me.
Some circumstances came up that allowed us to spend A LOT of time together for a couple of weeks. And by the end of that time...I knew. I had a very stressful day towards the end of that time with my car and my parents were out of town and I was on the phone with my brother (from another mother and father) sitting outside the Mini Cooper dealership. And I was crying to him...so overwhelmed. And finally the words came out in-between sobs: "and and I think I like Skyler!" His calm, gentle response also told me all I needed to know: "Yeah, Sis, I know." Once I had finally accepted it, I was ready to move forward! Let's do this thing. But Skyler wasn't quite there yet.
In the meantime...people at church were beginning to speculate and talk....and ask questions. Many of them had it figured out before we did! I had several people on different occasions ask me questions, but I would just play it off. Give the whole "we're just good friends" speech.
Skyler - One grueling summer day organizing my storage unit, Jay Wade and I even had a conversation about things with Danielle. It was pretty clear that people were shipping us before we even knew it. It was this conversation with Jay that led to a deeper one with my soon to be girlfriend.
Danielle - Eventually, we both acknowledged that people were talking. And I got the nerve to say, "Soooo there's a question here...." Skyler just kinda smiled and then went on to say how much he cares about me and respects me and that HE LOVES ME LIKE A SISTER. Oof. That's worse than the friend zone. So I kept quiet because what was I going to say after that?
Skyler - To be honest, I didn't know how to respond. Of course I knew how amazing Danielle was, but I had always seen her as another "sister" in my life. It was a process for me to adjust my mindset, just as it was for Danielle (I just didn't have shrimp to blame.)
Danielle - Time went on and we kept spending more and more of it together. Honestly, it felt like we were dating at that point. And that's when I started panicking. I was already in way too deep and in danger of getting hurt. So I knew I needed to set some boundaries. I needed to pull back some and guard my heart. So after some time and a lot of prayer, I finally explained that to him. I told him that if this wasn't going anywhere, then I needed to pull back - for the sake of our friendship. He asked for a week or so to pray about things. That was an agonizing week.
Skyler - I didn't take the decision to date lightly. I was still wrestling with things and not quite sure what God had planned. It was an agonizing week for me in prayer and counsel. After speaking to some very wise influences, and seeking God's will, it was clear that I would be a fool to not pursue a deeper relationship with Danielle.
Danielle - Once we made the decision, we jumped right in. We went on our first official date and after that, everything kinda fell into place. Skyler has always felt like home to me. He loves me even when I'm less than my best. He might laugh at me when I'm being ridiculous, but he always reiterates how much he loves me. He is so patient and full of grace.
Skyler - Dating Danielle just felt natural. She makes loving her easy and her abundant heart reminds me of God's grace and love every day. The best part of it all, is that she's my best friend! Even when I'm unsure of what God is doing in our lives, Danielle is the reminder that He does have Good Plans and "He is working all things out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." I couldn't be more grateful to have such an incredible, God-fearing woman to share my life with.
Danielle - And then on our 10th month of dating, he proposed! At Skyline Chili - of course! And obviously I said yes or you wouldn't be reading all of this. :)
I still get overwhelmed with God's plan. I never would have come up with this one on my own! But He knows what we need and His plans are good, even if they take longer than we want them to or they look different than we pictured. But if we are willing to surrender what we want for what God wants, we will always end up seeing that His plan is better and bigger!