I met Jack (aka Alfred, aka Bird, etc.) in December 2021 at Logan Pride Foundation on a Saturday morning. I was there just about every Saturday and knew the regulars, and I was almost literally blinded by this radiant butch with a loud Hawaiian shirt sitting in my favorite chair. I don't want to say 'love at first sight,' but that's kind of what it felt like. I just immediately felt like I needed to get to know this guy, and before I knew it two and a half hours passed and I had invited him to go to a Mountain Goats concert four months in the future.

It was pretty good as first meetings go! Then I didn't see him again for three months, and I didn't get his number. Like an idiot, I just thought he'd be at the next coffee and cocoa thing at the pride house. Instead he was working every Saturday morning until the MIDDLE OF MARCH, and I was suddenly some tragic heroine of a romance novel haunting the last place I saw this fleeting connection. So when I walked in one Saturday at noon and he was already laughing it up with someone there, I was on the warpath: get Jack's number or die in shame. I can't remember this part for sure, but I think I might have chickened out day-of and waited til the eleventh hour of a potluck I hosted the next day. I definitely remember chasing him out of the building. The exchange went something like this:

S: "JACK! WAIT UP!"

J: turns in surprise "Hm?"

Beat. Sofie's burst of adrenaline has died and now she is realizing that this might be really weird if she doesn't do it right.

S: "Um... is it alright if I have your number?" quieter "and do you want to go out on Friday?"

J: completely nonchalant "Sure!"

S: vocally shaking with relief "Awesome!"

From there things went pretty normal and smooth. Well, normal for someone with severe undiagnosed anxiety in her first romantic relationship. I asked to kiss him on the first date. It was really nice, best kiss I'd had so far. Then I got scared and I don't think we kissed again for a few months. We got to know each other better, we kept going to coffee & cocoa at the pride house, watched a lot of movies, and we went on a few adventures. We did go to the Mountain Goats concert and had a great time. Another time we tried to go to Spiral Jetty and the GPS took us a crazy route and we ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere and I had a small panic before a very nice family took us to and from the nearest gas station. We also went to Bear Lake. No one had to rescue us that time.

Jack said 'I love you' first. It took me a little while to say it and know it for sure. But before too long, it was easy. How can you not love a guy who makes you feel this safe, this valued, this respected? Maybe it's cheesy, but he really does bring out the best in me. I am bolder, kinder, stronger, and happier for knowing Jack, and I'm glad we'll be spending the rest of our lives next to each other.

*EDIT*

While Alfred was writing his version of events I realized I completely skipped over the year or so we were long distance! In I think May 2022 Alfred moved to Cedar City while I was still in Logan. We were both pretty sure that would be the end of it. He made me a CD before he left and asked me to not look at the track list or listen to it before he left. When he gave it to me a few weeks before the move, I could see that he had written a note to cover the tracks on the disc, and had signed the disc with a little heart. Things were going really really well with us at the time, and I realized then that I didn't want it to end. So I cried, like I do, and promised I'd come visit him.

I wasn't sure how much I meant it at the time. I figured it would probably be healthy for me to try dating more people, experience a breakup, grow socially etc. I read the note, and listened to the CD, lay on the floor and cried. I didn't WANT to date anyone else, I just wanted to spend more time with Jack. So, I did visit. I visited almost every month for about two years. We wrote letters back and forth, called just about every night, and somehow, it worked.

It was during this time that we started talking about getting married. I liked to joke that we were 'pre-engaged.' We started talking about a wedding date, rings, last names, the whole shebang. I felt pretty sure about him, but there was still this lingering fear I had that we were jumping in too fast. I had spent a lot of time with Jack's family on my monthly visits, but my family barely knew his name. I loved him, sure, but what if I was naïvely ignoring red flags? What if I was too inexperienced to know what to be wary of? What if we get engaged and move in and some hidden dealbreaker arises and then there's a whole new nightmare of a social situation to navigate?

So I told Jack I wanted to hold off on official engagement, at least until after he gets to know my family better over the holidays. He agreed easily. That's something I've always loved about Jack: anything I get myself worked up about asking him never fazes him. My choices and my feelings always matter in this relationship, and he always makes that clear. And after we did move in in November 2024, I just kept feeling more and more sure. Finally, a few months ago I mentioned to Jack that we ought to make it official, that I didn't have any doubts left. And somehow I was still surprised when a few days later while we were putting away groceries he pulled out a ring. Like most of our relationship, that moment wasn't anything extravagant. Instead, it was casual, easy, joyful and a little bit goofy. I was never the girl that fantasized and planned out weddings and dream dates and perfect partners, and I didn't really think much of what a proposal should be. All I know is I was happy. This guy makes me happy.

I remember that when I first saw Sofie she was talking to someone else at the Logan Pride House. And I thought she was really cute and I wanted to talk to her. So when the person she was talking to left, I went and sat down in the chair next to hers and talked to her for a while.

I can't remember exactly the sequence of events that happened next because my memory is not so good.

But I know that after that first time, it was a while before we saw each other again. I had just got a new job where I worked on Saturday mornings, which was when the Coffee and Cocoa event at the Pride House was.

After 3 months or so, I got a different job and started going to the Pride House again.

It was either before I stopped going or right after, but Sofie mentioned that she was going to a concert by The Mountain Goats in Salt Lake and asked me to go with her. I said yes. Then we didn't talk about that for a while.

After a little bit, Sofie asked me out on a date. The day that she did, I was actually meaning to ask her out, but she beat me to it.

We went to a small theater in Logan that plays older movies and watched this movie where Harrison Ford falls in love with an Amish woman (it was weird). After the movie, we just walked around Logan for a while. It was nice.

The concert was nice. It was super hot in the venue, but I like The Mountain Goats and I like Sofie, so it was good. The opener was good, but I don't remember his name. I do remember that at one point he pulled out a harmonica and the little neck stand that people use to play harmonica while playing guitar and the crowd cheered. It was very funny, but I also cheered.

We continued to go on dates and spent a lot of time together. I remember we were in my bedroom, and I think I was folding clothes or something, and I just asked her if we were dating, because I was pretty sure, but I wanted to make sure we were on the same page.

(This next section is less timeline and more feelings because the feelings are all mixed in throughout the timeline, and I have to put them somewhere.)

During this time in my life I was deeply depressed (Side note- I am doing so much better now), and Sofie was always there for me. I used to go on walks on nights when I was feeling really bad, and there were a few times that I called her and asked if she could pick me up from wherever I had walked to because I didn't want to be alone anymore. She would drive to pick me up and stay with me for the night. I really love that about her.

And when I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease, I was worried that the weight of the diagnoses would outweigh the things she liked about me, because I have read stories about that kind of thing happening to people with Celiac Disease. But she just had questions on how to help me and what I needed, which was really comforting to me.

Similarly, when I came out as a transgender guy and started transitioning, I was worried about a similar thing happening, because that happens to a lot of transgender people. But I'm so glad it didn't. Sofie has been nothing but wonderful to me, and I love her so much.

(Now back to general timeline.)

There was one time that Sofie and I took a road trip to see the Spiral Jetty and the salt flats. And the trip there went fine. But on the way back, we ran out of gas in truly the middle of nowhere. Sofie felt really bad about it at the time I think. I wasn't happy about that situation of course, but these things happen sometimes. But perhaps the most inconvenient part of this was that we were out of cell phone range. So, we decided the best thing to do would be to walk back the way we came until we got cell phone reception or hit a town/gas station. But before we got too far, a truck pulled up and asked if we needed any help. Turns out, it was a couple with a few kids that owned a ranch nearby, and offered to give us a ride to a gas station. I was slightly anxious about the whole thing, but it was a whole family and it seemed safe enough. And the other option was to walk at least a mile through the middle of the desert in the summer, so we accepted. They drove us to a small gas station and we got gas in a container and drove us back to our car. They helped us fuel up and left us to go on our way. The most interesting part was that they told us that it was a good thing that we ran out of gas where we did instead of a few miles down the road because there is apparently a murderer that lives there. So that was an interesting thing to learn.

Most of our time spent together hasn't been that eventful.

The next big event is when I moved away from Logan to Cedar City. I was really sure that this would be the end of our relationship, because I have not been great at keeping in touch with people that I don't see all the time (as many of you know). But Sofie and I text in similar ways - not very much - and she called me mostly every night to talk for a while on the phone. And she drove all the way down to visit me almost every month! I guess I'm just that cool.

At some point in the time that I lived in Cedar City, we decided that we wanted to get married eventually, but we didn't get engaged for a long while.

Eventually, Sofie got a better paying job in Salt Lake and I was able to move in with her, which is pretty cool.

And now, we are engaged!

I care about Sofie a lot. I say it to her a lot, but I love her AND I like her, which I think is very important. I am excited that we are going to get married and spend the rest of our lives together.