Prior to meeting one another, Heather and I had completely separate and unique lives. Heather was fresh out of college working for a law firm in downtown Chicago. She was also very active in managing her women's ministry, Exposed, which seeks to uncover cultural and personal lies about identity, beauty, and strength, and replace them with biblical truths. I, on the other hand, was trying to solidify myself as a key contributor to the Northwestern Men's Basketball team. I also had a ministry of my own leading a weekly bible study that was open to all Northwestern students. Even though our lives were very different, we both had a heart for people, and were very content in our singleness.

Right before basketball season, a former teammate and good friend of mine, Reggie Hearn, asked me if I could mentor Heather's little brother. Heather had asked him to do it, but because he was leaving to play professional basketball, he was unable to. At the time I was going through a really tough season of life, and I thought that this would be a great opportunity to get my mind off things and serve someone else. But The Lord would end up exceeding my expectations, like he always does. On November 7th 2013, I agreed to meet Heather and her little brother at Buffalo Wild Wings. I almost didn't go because our home opener was the next day, and I was pretty tired, but I went because I wanted to be a man of my word. When I walked into BWW with my sweatpants and coat, I remember looking over at their table thinking, "there is no way that's them". I would have never guessed that the sister would be so beautiful! Then they waved me over and I instantly got embarrassed about my outfit and poorly groomed facial hair. I still didn't feel much pressure because I was there for Heather's brother, and I didn't even know if she was a Christian. After I found out she was a Christian though, it was game over, I had to get her. She was so sweet, genuine, and refreshing. She carried herself with so much confidence and you could just tell that she loved The Lord so much. She was a woman that Peter would call "quiet and gentle spirited". Even with that being said, the whole experience felt too surreal so I had to pray about it and see if The Lord was calling me to pursue her. After getting confirmation through prayer and wise counsel, I went ahead and asked her out to coffee.

From that point forward things were not easy. Actually things were very hard. I was pushing way too hard and trying to move the relationship way too fast. I was very unaware of her personal boundaries and because of that she was constantly resistant towards me. She felt uncomfortable around me for the first seven months we were together. During that time, the weight of trying prove myself to her resulted in me trying to be someone that I wasn't. I tried to impress her with my knowledge of the bible, what I did on the court, and how well I treated her. I thought she would be impressed and trust me because of how good of a man I was. But surprisingly all these things worked against me because what she needed more than any of my accolades, or good qualities was time, and patience. She would tell you herself that she wasn't perfect either. Her resistance towards me had a lot to do with the scars she accumulated in her past. She carried those with her into our relationship, which made her a guarded, and overly reserved person towards me. Oftentimes she would answer my questions with either 'yes' or 'no', which made it very hard to keep a conversation going. The root of the issue was that she did not trust me with her heart. But by Gods grace this began to change. By The Lords strength and wisdom, I began to take things a little slower, and she began to open up and trust me more each day. By the end of the summer it was hard for us to be apart. In August of 2014, we told each other for the first time that we loved each other. After that we were apart for six weeks, which was really hard on both of us. We decided while we were apart that we wouldn't want to be away from each other for that long again. Through prayer and discernment, we decided that we wanted to get married sometime the following summer. The next season of life was definitely tough on both of us and we knew that it was confirmation that The Lord wanted us to be able to support each other for a lifetime. On March 22nd 2015, I asked Heather Alison John to be my wife, and by Gods grace she said yes :).

Our love, journey, and struggles closely correlate with the gospel. How often are people either overzealous in trying to earn God's love, like I was with Heather, or resistant to Gods love, like Heather was to me. Like us as people, God desires relationship, and He desires it to be sweet and fruitful. But because of sin, there is brokenness in relationship. There are lies that we tell ourselves that hinder our relationships. Whether that be us trying to earn it, or to think that we are too broken or hurt to receive it. But The Lord in His grace meets us where we are and replaces those lies with truth, and gives us the strength to overcome any weaknesses that prevent us from experiencing relationship in its fullness. All we have to do is accept this life changing love that God offers to us in Christ. After accepting this truth, our hearts will begin to learn that relationships were meant to mirror the relationship that Jesus has with the church. A relationship that has unfailing, steadfast, and unconditional love.