Ben is the most loving and patient guy that I have ever met. He showers me with love even when I’m being difficult. Ben never ceases to amaze me. He makes me laugh when I want to cry, he comforts me when things are hard, encourages me when I’m feeling low, and never fails to remind me of our Heavenly Father’s unconditional love. I guess I should start by rewinding to the beginning of our friendship.



Three and a half years ago, Ben and I met at work. I was the newest person on the team and the only girl. Ben was always very friendly and kind to me. He often initiated conversations and helped me to transition into my role. After several months of friendly conversations and lunches together, I had a clue that Ben liked me but it took another month before he finally asked me out on a date. After a couple of dates, we decided to start a relationship.

During the time that we initially dated, I was not Christian, though I assumed that I was because I’d grown up in the church. I was extremely prideful and thought that I was in control of my life. I did not have a personal relationship with the Lord and operated with a foolish understanding of grace. In my mind if I said that I knew that Jesus was my Lord and Savior, then I could live my life the way that I pleased. Early on into our relationship, Ben mentioned marriage and starting a family and I was scared out of my mind. Plus, Ben was preparing to start seminary and I did not want to become a pastor’s wife. After dating for a short period of time, we realized that we were on two very different paths in life and decided to call it quits.

A couple of months after our breakup, I became a Christian which changed my entire perspective on life. I came to fully understand what it meant to follow the Lord and stopped entertaining the silly idea that I could take care of things on my own. I finally understood that being a Christian meant more than just voicing my belief in Christ with my mouth, it also meant believing in Christ in my heart and living a life that demonstrated my beliefs. I realized that my identity was not in my career and my accomplishments, instead it was in Christ.

After becoming a believer, I thought more about a possible relationship with Ben. I realized that the things that initially made me think that a relationship wouldn’t workout were no longer factors. I prayed about it a lot and asked the Lord that if it was His will, that He would allow Ben and I to have a relationship that glorified Him and that if it was not His will that He would allow me to move on with my life. After a while, I gave up on the potential of dating Ben. I assumed that the Lord’s answer was no and opened my mind to the possibility of dating someone else.

Little did I know, Ben had taken interest in me again. One Sunday after church, Ben sent me a text message asking me to review a document for him. I agreed. An hour or so later, he asked me if he could give me a call and asked for the best time to call. I assumed that he wanted to talk about the document so I told him that we could talk more the following evening. Fast forward, the next day comes and Ben gives me a call. Right away I started going into feedback on the document. He allowed me to talk for about 2 minutes before he finally said, “that’s not why I called you. I called because I was wondering if you would like to go out on a date with me?” At that point, I completely freaked out! My response was something like, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW? LIKE SERIOUSLY?! Eventually I said," yes" and we scheduled our first date at Starbucks. The rest is history.

Well... Are you ready? Do you have popcorn? Pizza? Ice Cream?

You do realize those are the three major food groups, right? Well, if you didn't, now you know. This is how the story really goes...

Once upon a time, in an office complex, a rather windowless one at that, a dashing young man was taking the world by storm, one transaction at a time. He was clearly excelling and had nothing to distract him. Well, that changed roughly a year in to his bright eyed and bushy tailed career. It was some month like January, or something cold like that, and a young woman decided that her new home should be in a windowless office space. So, she set out and obtained a desk at the same windowless office space as the bushy tailed enthusiast who, during the cold and dreary days was arriving before the sun came up and leaving after it went down. This young woman was none other than the lovely Tynisha Sudberry. Now, Tynisha was a peculiar being. Unbeknownst to the young lad, he had become rather fond of her while the two worked together. And boom! One day, he asks her out on a date.

If you are tracking up to this point you are not doing so in the same way that the now rather whipped young squirrel was when he asked this beautiful woman out. The boy was entirely absent minded in the request he made to this lady. In other words, I did not even realize the thing which I had done.

Well, we can get back on board the train now.

Tynisha said yes. Of course, she could not refuse the dashing bow ties of the young lad. So, a date ensued. After that, another date. And then a relationship. But, that’s not the end of the story. This was roughly three years ago, and Tynisha and I have not been dating for three years. Trust me, I would not be able to hide that one. Therefore, let us consider the events that took place. Tynisha was not a saved, at least I thought so, and she thought that she was... and well… I may or may not have mentioned something about marriage and the purpose of dating for marriage. For a woman like Tynisha, with pen, notebook, and a plan, this was not good news. In fact, one could say she thought it was bad news bears. Well, that ended the relationship.

Fast forward roughly three years of seminary, give or take as you see fit. I swore off women for my first two years of seminary. However, the third year was open season! Well, I wasn’t a good hunter. So, open season was like fishing in a desert, if you found a fish, they were just not what you were looking for. Well, a yearish had gone by since I'd returned to the scene, and Tynisha was saved.

Now, I have to back up and explain a little more about why I initially asked her out three years prior. Tynisha is a kind, caring, and beautiful woman. She is responsible and determined, stubborn, but in a good way, and she is all around amazing. Had I known she was not a Christian at the time, then I would never have asked her out. But I did not know such realities, so the rest is history.

Now, back to my desert fishing. As I said, Tynisha was saved and all the reasons that I asked her out before were still true. This time, however, she had a godliness and a love for the church included in that list. So, here I was thinking to myself, “Man, there must be no one out there.” Understand, this was clearly me being ignorant and stupid, but I did not know this at the time, hence ignorant. But, I was thinking one night. “Is there anyone I overlooked?” Yes, yes there was. I had purposed in my heart not to ask Tynisha out for a primary reason, and that was because I wanted her to grow in godliness and love for the church and not do so just to impress me. This was perhaps arrogant. But I thought that it was wise since she was a new Christian at this time. I’ll let God be the judge. However, this night I realized that Tynisha was still of interest to me and that I no longer had a reasonable excuse to ignore such interests. Therefore, a phone call and a question passed, and I had a date with this beauty.

Starbucks was a reboot of a first date. And it was a good reboot, mostly me explaining why I hadn’t asked her out sooner. Fast forward to April 30, 2018. I now have brought her home to my parents, who I'm pretty sure like her more than me, and now they know that we are dating again. Fast forward to end of June, my parents know that I am going to ask her to marry me, and well, they give me advice on where to buy a ring. Sad news is, I already bought the ring.