The Wedding Day

A traditional Jewish wedding is a tapestry woven from many threads: Biblical, historical, mystical, cultural and legal. These threads are carried from generation to generation, forming a beautiful chain of Jewish continuity. Our Sages teach that each Jewish marriage is a re-enactment of the marriage between G‑d and the Jewish people that took place at Mount Sinai. The wedding day is compared to a personal Yom Kippur - a day of special holiness for the bride (Kallah) and groom (Chosson), who will each fast on the wedding day and are forgiven for their past mistakes as they prepare for a new life together. A Jewish marriage is also an intricate legal transaction, by which the bride and groom enter a mutually binding commitment. The rituals and traditions of the Jewish wedding contain both legal details, as well as underlying spiritual themes.

Kabbalas Panim

Pre-Ceremony Reception

The Jewish wedding traditionally begins with a special Kabbalas Panim (greeting reception) in honor of the bride and groom. Our Sages tell us that on the wedding day, the Chosson is likened to a king and the Kallah to a queen. Special powers are granted to them from On High, especially in the realm of giving and receiving blessings. Two separate receptions are held in adjacent rooms, one for the bride and another for the groom. By tradition, the bride and groom refrain from seeing each other for a full week before their wedding to increase their yearning for each other and their subsequent joy of reuniting at their wedding.

The bride sits on a distinctive, ornate throne-like chair, surrounded by immediate family members. Friends and family approach, wishing Mazal Tov, and offering their heartfelt blessings and words of encouragement.

At the groom's reception, songs are sung, and words of Torah are often delivered. This occasion is used to complete and sign two of the wedding documents: the Tenai'm (engagement contract) and the Kesubah (marriage contract- the binding document of confidence and trust which details the Chosson’s obligations to the Kallah). At the conclusion of the reading of the Tenai'm, the mothers of the bride and groom jointly break a china or glass plate, to symbolize the solemnity of the document and the irreparable nature of a broken contract. This is followed by joyous shouts of Mazal Tov!

It is the Chabad custom for the groom to recite a Ma’amer (Chassidic discourse). The discourse begins with the words, “L’cho Dodi” (“Come, my beloved”), and discusses the mystical significance of the wedding. Chassidic tradition maintains that during the recitation of this Ma’amer, which contains teachings from all of the Chabad Rebbes, the souls of the Rebbes come to join the wedding celebration.

Badeken – The Veiling Ceremony

The Kabbalas Panim receptions are followed by the Badeken (veiling ceremony). The Chosson is escorted by a procession towards the Kallah, accompanied by the singing of a special nigun (Chassidic melody) composed by the first Chabad Rebbe, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi. The groom covers the bride's face with a veil. This custom originated with our matriarch Rebecca, who modestly covered her face when meeting her groom, Isaac. This emphasizes the innate modesty that is a hallmark of a Jewish woman. The veil also emphasizes that the groom is not solely interested in the bride's external beauty, but rather in her inner beauty, which she will never lose. The bride's face remains veiled for the duration of the Chuppah ceremony, affording her privacy at this holy time. Often, the bride’s veil is made of special heirloom cloth from a garment belonging to the Rebbe or Rebbetzin. After the groom veils the bride, the couple’s fathers and grandfathers approach the bride to bless her. The bride and groom then proceed with their Chuppah preparations and everyone else continues to the site of the Chuppah.

The Chuppah

The Marriage Ceremony

The wedding ceremony takes place under a Chuppah (canopy). Open on all four sides, the Chuppah is also likened to Abraham and Sarah’s tent, the first Jewish home, which had entrances on all four sides as a reflection of their great hospitality. The Chuppah stands outdoors under the stars, to reflect G-d’s promise to our ancestors that their children will be as numerous as the stars. Furthermore, a Chuppah held under the open heavens symbolizes the couple's resolve to establish a household that will be dominated by heavenly and spiritual ideals.

It is a custom for those leading the Chosson and Kallah to carry candles, symbolizing that the couple’s life together will be one of light and joy. In addition, the candles represent the light of the souls of the bride and groom’s ancestors, who descend from their heavenly abode to join the wedding celebration.

The Kallah will circle the Chosson seven times, accompanied by the couple’s parents and grandparents. The number seven signifies completion of creation, just as the seven days of creation lead into Shabbos.

During the Chuppah, it is customary in certain communities for the groom to wear a Kittel (a long white frock traditionally worn on Yom Kippur). Often, the Chosson will wear a white shirt belonging to the Rebbe. The groom’s pristine white garment, and the bride's white gown, are symbols of G‑d's atonement and perfect purity.

The Chuppah ceremony is traditionally characterized by an air of solemnity. This is due to an acute awareness of the awe and magnitude of the moment. Indeed, the Shechinah (Divine Presence) graces the presence of every Chuppah ceremony. The Chuppah is an opportune time for all personal prayers.

The Rebbe’s Letter

The Rebbe customarily sent a letter on the occasion of a wedding, conveying his blessings to the Chosson and Kallah. The text of this letter is read at the beginning of the Chuppah ceremony, thereby bestowing these blessings upon the bride and groom.

The Priestly Blessing

A Kohen is called up to bestow the traditional Priestly Blessing upon the Chosson and Kallah.

The Ceremony

The ceremony begins with a blessing recited over wine, symbolically setting the tone for the joyousness of the occasion. This is followed by a blessing to designate the end of the engagement status and the beginning of the marriage ceremony.

The Chosson gives the Kallah a ring in the presence of two designated witnesses, and says in Hebrew, “Behold, you are consecrated unto me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel”. Following the giving of the ring, the Kesubah is read aloud. The groom then hands the Kesubah document to the bride.

Sheva Brochos (The Seven Blessings)

The ceremony continues with the recitation of the seven blessings over a second cup of wine. These blessings acknowledge and praise G-d, and allude to the marriage, the couple’s happiness, and the future joy of raising a family. The last blessing brings the ceremony to its height, with prayers for love, friendship, peace, and happiness.

Breaking the Glass

At the height of our happiness, we remember the destruction of Jerusalem and the Holy Temple, and pray for the redemption speedily in our days. The Chosson steps upon a glass to symbolize that our joy is not complete as long as the Jewish people are still in exile. At this time, the Chuppah is concluded with festive song and shouts of Mazal Tov!

Yichud (Privacy)

The final part of the marriage ceremony is the Yichud or time of privacy, which seals the marriage. The Yichud room affords the bride and groom their first opportunity to spend a few private moments together as husband and wife. While in the Yichud room, the couple, who have been fasting, share some food together.

Dinner & Dancing

Participating in a wedding feast and gladdening the hearts of the bride and groom on their special day is a great Mitzvah. The Talmud relates that the greatest Sages set aside their otherwise never-interrupted Torah study for the sake of entertaining a new couple with song and dance.

When the bride and groom join their guests, they are ceremoniously greeted with music, singing and dancing. The men with the groom, and the women with the bride, traditionally dance in separate areas, with a Mechitzah (partition) placed between the two sections. The singing and dancing continue throughout the evening. Everyone is encouraged to participate in the dancing and festivities!

A Jewish marriage, which creates a link between all the past generations and all the future generations, is regarded as much more than a private milestone for the couple and their families; it is a historic and momentous event for the community at large, and the Jewish nation as a whole!

The bride and groom will certainly celebrate together later, privately, cherishing the sanctity and uniqueness of the private relationship between husband and wife.

Sheva Brachos

The wedding meal is followed by Birkas HaMazon (Grace after Meals) and the recitation of the Sheva Brachos, the same seven blessings recited beneath the Chuppah. The seven blessings draw Divine energy for the couple's married life. A beautiful event has now reached its conclusion.

For seven days following the wedding, a festive party is hosted each evening by close family and friends, in honor of the new couple, thereby extending the joy of the wedding night for the entire week.

A solid foundation of joy, spirituality, and blessing has been laid for the eternal edifice that is the new Jewish home, accompanied by the support of loving family and friends.

We look forward to having you share in our great joy on this special day! May we all share many continued simchas and happy occasions together!

The Gurary and Tiechtel Families