It all started with an invite.

My friend Vin was like: “I’m hanging out with this girl I went to high school with. Come through,” and I was in. It didn’t take much convincing to get me to a bar. Little did I know I was about to meet the love of my life. So I went out, had a blast, met Kati, had what I called “a few” and went home.

At this point in my life, I had a shit job that I hated and a bad relationship that I forced to work since the previous one had been a disaster. I was resigned to the idea that life was tolerable at best and generally something to “get through.” At this point in my life, having a good time was a rare, if not refreshing circumstance.

So we went out again. And again. And again. And soon, all of us started meeting up every Wednesday to drink, joke, bullshit and complain about life. “Wednesdays” was born. We got to know the bartenders, we played music on the jukebox, we saved a girl from some creepy dude and all the while started logging our jokes, ideas, and exploits in journals. Well, I didn’t but Kati did.

Kati always had a big personality. She was always joking, always trying to build everyone up, and just seemed fearless. I could talk to her for hours. Soon, I did.

Every morning after I would pick up my truck at the shop in the Bronx I would call her as I drove into Manhattan. I loved being on the phone with her. Sometimes I wouldn’t even talk, I would just listen to whatever raucous shit was happening at her job. She worked in the management office of a particularly ratchet building in Spanish Harlem so there was always something happening. It was the highlight of my day; my favorite podcast.

After some time, I started picking her up after work, we would drop off the truck, and hang out at my place. Laughing, talking about life, playing music, joking around. We would talk about people we were seeing. I would talk about my girlfriend, and she would tell me about people she was seeing. Always that personality. Always fearless.

One time, I tried to kiss her and she stopped me. She told me, “I want this, but not like this. I don’t want to be some side chick or girl you cheated on your girlfriend with so figure your situation out and get back to me.” Soon after that, I broke up with my girlfriend. We didn’t get together right away. It took time and more friendship but eventually, we started taking it slow.

I’ll never forget what this seasonal worker said to me at my old job. See, working in HVAC during the summer, companies will hire extra support; bodies that can help out during the summer. So these college kids trying to make some extra money would come to work as helpers and because they were working with me, they would listen to my favorite podcast too. All the helpers knew Kati. Well, one such seasonal worker came back during the winter break and I told him I started dating this new girl, Kati. He said, “Kati? Like, Kati Kati?! Yeah of course you are, you had a thing for her when I met you, you talked about her all the time.” I didn’t even realize. I’m glad he told me though.

Looking back on it, I loved Kati long before I knew it. She was always the highlight of my day. What I looked forward to in the morning and the evening. Her smile. Her eyes. Her big personality. Her sense of humor. And her heart.

So much heart.

Always fearless.

I love you always and forever, Kati

It all started with an invite.

My friend Vin asked the Facebook world: “Who wants to buy me a birthday drink?” I decided then and there that I was changing my life. I went to the bar, met Vin, and stopped feeling lonely. As the night ended, Vin said, “Hey, I usually hate meeting up with HS friends again, but you’re still really cool. Want to hang out tomorrow?” So I said yes. Little did I know how that one small decision would lead me to meet my soulmate, the love of my life, Zeke.

At this point in my life, I was working a job I hated, constantly disrespected by every resident who came into my office. I moved back in with my parents after being ghosted by my ex-boyfriend of 3 years, had no friends, gained a bunch of weight, and lived in my childhood bedroom. I decided to write a list of all the things I was unhappy with and tackle each problem individually so I didn’t feel as overwhelmed.

One of the major changes was saying “yes” to more things. On the night we met, Vin told me his friend was coming by to hang with us. And there he was; he stumbled into the bar, already drunk, and tripped and fell into my lap. We laughed and chatted about TV, Music, and Movies, and then I left. As I got to the tram, I got a friend request from Zeke. I went to his page to do some "research", and I saw that we had a mutual friend, Michael Girard. I messaged him and said: “How the fuck do you know Michael Girard?!” and he said, “He’s my cousin, how the fuck do YOU know Michael Girard?!” And so began an endless game of “I know almost everyone you know, but we’ve never met.” I took this as a sign that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Every Wednesday, I showed up where I was supposed to be, I would say "yes," and Wednesdays became my saving grace. I started to remember who I was and that I wasn’t alone.

Zeke was always so creative and musical. He always had a joke or a new perspective on something I couldn’t quite push through. He taught me how to be patient and less angry, and gave me advice on the guys I was seeing, but the Zeke I knew was not the Zeke the rest of the world saw… Zeke stopped talking out loud at some point, but he would always talk to me.

He would open his mouth to say something, and Vin and I could see it get stuck and slowly fade away. Zeke began to shrink into himself, and I wouldn’t stand for it! I encouraged Zeke to speak his truth. I encouraged him to find his voice, whether that be by singing together, writing skits, recording our jokes, or whatever silly hyper-fixation we had that week.

I started to get excited to go to work and be on the phone with Zeke and then count the hours until he would pick me up. He always treated me like he wanted me around. I wasn’t used to people making an effort to spend time with me, but Zeke always did. He would ask if he could sleep on my floor so he didn’t have to go home or come hang out with me on Roosevelt Island if I didn’t feel like going into the city. I always had hope that one day we would be together, but I also wasn’t trying to get into a messy ordeal as my love life was a mess on its own!

One time, he got drunk and tried to kiss me, which I had mixed feelings about. I said “I really want this with you. I really think we could be good together and that this would last, but I want us to have a real chance. I don’t want to be a girl you cheated on your girlfriend with. Figure out your relationship and please try this again.” For as much as I thought “surely he is too drunk to remember this conversation,” Boy, Oh boy did he prove me wrong!

After his relationship ended we kept spending time together and I kept reminding myself to be present and enjoy my time with him – whatever was meant to happen would happen in time. He was always my best friend and he always will be.

Looking back, I knew Zeke was the one from the moment I met him. He played every song my heart sang, he spoke to the wounded parts of me and healed me in ways I never knew I needed. He always showed up and made me feel wanted. He was always the best part of every morning, and the dream I had every night. His patience, his music, his creativity, his encouragement, and his heart.

The purest heart.

Always seeing me for who I really am and accepting me.

And so I said the easiest "Yes" of a lifetime.

I love you beyond the end of time, Zeke.