We first encountered each other online in 2021 (I know, kinda sketchy if you ask me). We both were in the Civil Air Patrol cadet program as teens and joined the same online Discord forum for cadets in MN. Lydia’s last name (Wilson) was her identifying feature on this platform. Therefore, Ben was under the impression that she was a man for about a month before she got a chance to correct him. He realized Lydia was a woman after he mistakenly used the male gender to address her. He was subsequently heckled for over a year about his mistake. Consequently, he has never forgotten that Lydia is a woman since the incident.

We first met in person at Lydia’s CAP squadron meeting in Blaine MN. Benjamin just got back from Air Force Tech School in Arkansas and was working at Joint Reserve Station St. Paul at the time. He showed up to the CAP squadron meeting to try to stay social with some other friends he knew from high school. The first thing Lydia remembers about him was that he was tall and kinda nerdy. The first thing Benjamin remembers about Lydia is that she was short, a charmingly awkward, and had the most beautiful red hair he had ever seen. Ben may or may not have a thing for gingers…

Not too long after first meeting, they saw each other at a formal CAP conference in May of 2022. Lydia was a bit of an introvert during the dance–tending to stick closely with one of Ben’s squadron mates in Alexandria. As a result, Benjamin used his ambivert skills of adaptability to be outgoing towards Lydia. During the dance, and after some energetic dance moves, Benjamin was able to convince Lydia and the other girl from Alexandria to join in on the fun. The budding relationship started to blossom after Lydia was taught the Macarena, Cha-Cha Slide and the Cupid Shuffle by Benjamin.

After the conference, Benjamin and Lydia learned that they were going to go the University of North Dakota together in the Fall of 2022 and share a minor in the AFROTC program. As a result, as soon as they got to college, Benjamin and Lydia started hanging out and working on AFROTC requirements together. We called this our “pseudo-dating” phase. AFROTC requires all officer candidates to pass a written exam called the AFOQT in their first two years of the program. Ben eventually got the nerve to ask Lydia to…study for the written exam together. (He didn’t ask her out at this point, I know, kinda lame). As a result of Lydia accepting the invitation, we spent a lot of time studying for this exam together, which gave us the opportunity to get to know each other more.

During the first week of school, Lydia invited Ben to some events at the Newman Center. One of the most iconic stories of this pseudo-dating phase is when Lydia wanted to go canoe on the river. The problem was, she didn't have a vehicle capable of taking a canoe anywhere. So, she thought to herself "Ben has a Jeep, maybe he would go with me?". Lo and behold, Lydia convinced Ben one Saturday to rent a canoe with her and go on the river. Here is where the irony comes in: Benjamin is still convinced to this day that this was a signal to him that Lydia wanted to be asked out, however Lydia still denies this allegation to date since she was not actively looking for a romantic relationship. She was just “starving for social time”. Lydia had no idea that the main motivator to accept was because he liked her.

Regardless of the jokes that come up from the missed signals, the awkward amounts of alone time we had together, and our own respectable denseness that arose from the pseudo-dating phase, it was a critical moment in our relationship where our friendship blossomed. We learned how to be good friends to each other with none of the pressures that tends to arise from the weight of dating. We look back fondly at the memories of feeling so lucky that we had at a solid friendship on campus so early into college life.

After the accidental canoeing date, Benjamin began overanalyzing–as he usually does. He was trying to discern whether or not to ask Lydia out. Embarrassingly enough, he was fairly confident that he wanted to ask Lydia out after the first week of school. However, his mind got in the way, and he just wasn’t sure if it was a prudent decision. He went back and forth for over a month and a half on whether he would ask Lydia out or just let it be. On Sunday, October 2, 2022, Benjamin participated in the AFROTC Ruck4Recovery where he marched over 20 miles from UND to Grand Forks AFB. During that time, he was able to do a lot of thinking. He decided that Lydia had all the qualities that he would want in a wife. She was a beautiful, smart, compassionate, kind, respectful…and a ginger!

Eventually, the dread of never knowing if he didn’t ask eventually ate at him enough during the ruck that he made up his mind to at least ask her out. Sounds like a simple task, doesn’t it? Of course, Benjamin couldn’t make it a simple task. On four separate occasions, Ben created conditions to ask Lydia out. On three of those occasions, Benjamin failed in his task. Did Lydia reject him, and he is just a persistent little butthole? No! Benjamin was just too chicken to ask this supermodel of a woman out. His first failure occurred before the ruck, documented on Discord on 09/29/2022 (see the picture), where Benjamin was sitting at Wilkerson Dining Center freaking out on if he should ask her out or not. Eventually, he “hit her up” on Discord after which Lydia invited him to her place. She thought Ben just wanted to hang out. Unfortunately, Benjamin got too nervous. As a consolation prize, he enjoyed the conversation that night. This increased his desire to ask her out even more. The other two planned times were when they were studying for the AFOQT. Eventually, Benjamin asked Lydia to meet him in at the Memorial Union on Campus. He got dressed up in his quarter zip, threw on some deodorant, memorized what he was going to say, paced up and down the halls for 30 minutes (it felt like 3 hours), and took a pregame pee. This time he did succeed in having words leave his lips.

Lydias perspective of the lead up to the first official date was a bit different: “In October of 2022, rumors had been started that Ben's Guard unit that might get deployed. One Friday, Ben asked me to meet him randomly at the campus Union. I remember thinking to myself, ‘I hope he isn't being deployed.’ No, he wasn't. It was on this day, Ben stood awkwardly at the top of the main staircase in the Union and asked me out on a date. The first words out of my mouth were ‘you wanna go on a date with me?’ (This was the first time any man had asked me out, I was a bit flustered).” Keep in mind, the words Ben used to ask Lydia out were NOT the words he had memorized. He voice-cracked and stuttered more than an awkward 15-year-old taking Public Speaking. This comedic series of events made an awkward yet unforgettable experience!

Benjamin was so nervous for the first date. Unfortunately, he doesn’t remember much about the lead up. But Lydia remembers that day vividly, “I remember getting ready for our first date at the Newman house, and one of my housemates, Kasia Sikora [who happens to be part of the host couple you will meet at the reception], helping me get ready. As Ben walked to the front door to knock, 6 girls all stood at the front window, watching excitedly. Our first date was so special, and Ben was the perfect gentleman. We made things official not long after that. Dating is a process to find your spouse, and I was able to lay out my expectations on the second date to Ben. I remember being nervous that he wouldn't want to date after seeing how serious I was about it, but Ben knew what he was looking for as well.”

After a year and a half and much anticipation we finally got engaged on Pentecost Sunday in 2024 on a hill overlooking the Kakac’s 120+ year old family farmstead just southwest of Alexandria, MN. How did Benjamin get Lydia to the farm without her knowing? Through lies and deceit of course! Benjamin and Lydia were already in Ham Lake, MN visiting Lydia’s parents that weekend. So, Benjamin told Lydia and her parents that Mathew Kakac (Benjamin’s Father) was having a ceremony for his non-profit organization: Lakes Area Law Dog. This ceremony was never existed. As a result, Benjamin coerced Lydia into getting into a dress and all pretty. They made it to Dad’s property before the sun went down. Once at the Kakac farm, Benjamin told Lydia he had to “show her something”. They then started on a walk up the hill. Once on top of the hill Ben made a small speech he had prepared (which in contrast to his spectacular first-date proposal, he successfully recited), got down on one knee, and asked Lydia to be his wife. Lydia of course said yes!

In the last 2 1/2 years, we have shared and endured many good times, hardships, and adventures. Mutually, our steadfast commitment to God and family has been one of the most attractive traits we find in each other. We are looking forward to creating a God centered family filled with love, respect, and life.