Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed guests, and fellow gamers, lets embark on a journey down memory lane to celebrate the union of a man whose love story took a little longer to load than the rest of us: our dear friend with the black hair and brown eyes, the silent maestro of the controller, and the unsung hero of rodent warfare—lets hear it for Robert!

Now, picture this: it’s middle school, a time when hormones were as unpredictable as lag in an online multiplayer game. In the midst of the chaos stood Robert, quiet and reserved, like a stealthy ninja waiting for the perfect moment to strike. And boy, did he strike—mostly at those pesky high scores that dared to challenge his dominance in the virtual realm.

While the rest of us were busy navigating the treacherous waters of teenage angst and acne, Robert found solace in the comforting glow of his console. Oh, the countless hours we spent at his house, battling pixelated foes and forging friendships stronger than titanium... and occasionally taking down real-life invaders, like that infamous mouse incident.

Ah, yes, the mouse incident—a tale as legendary as any epic boss fight. Picture Robert and myself armed to the teeth with a BB gun and a steely determination, facing off against a tiny foe with more courage than sense. Did he prevail? Absolutely. Did he use approximately 40 BBs to do it? Well, lets just say he turned that mouse into Swiss cheese faster than you can say extra lives.
But as the years rolled by and our hairlines receded faster than our gaming reflexes, Robert remained a steadfast companion, even if he was still searching for Player 2 in his own love story. Some might say he was waiting for the perfect power-up, while others joked that he was too busy perfecting his speed runs to notice.

But lo and behold, fate works in mysterious ways, my friends! For it wasnt until Robert reached the ripe old age of 31 that he finally found his Player 2, his Luigi to his Mario, his Princess Peach to his... well, you get the idea. And today, as we bear witness to his union with Heather, let us raise our glasses to the quiet ones who find love in the most unexpected places and remind us that sometimes, the best power-up of all is patience.

To Robert and Heather, may your marriage be filled with more joy than a 1UP mushroom and more love than a hundred heart containers. Congratulations let’s play some Zombies!