I first knew Erin as Samantha’s roommate (Samantha Vermeer is an honorary cousin) at Northwestern College. I digested that information and thought nothing more of Erin for roughly three months. As a notorious “player,” I am sure I pursued numerous other women during this time, while Erin broke up with her high school sweetheart and found a new man in college. We were on separate paths.

During my junior year of college, I decided to lead a Spring Service Partnership with Alyssa Feeley and Mark Vellinga in Mescalero, New Mexico. By chance, Erin happened to sign up for the trip. A team was constructed, and we began to have regular meetings to prepare the group members for what was sure to be a challenging yet fruitful experience on the Mescalero Reservation. My first distinct memory of Erin was at one of these SSP meetings where I stretched out my legs at my seat, promptly knocking her brand-new water bottle off her desk, badly denting it. Erin graciously accepted my awkward apology, and life moved on.

Again, I thought nothing more of Erin until day three of our Spring Service Partnership. Finally, we were down in Mescalero, working with Mescalero Reformed Church, doing manual labor around the property. After spending three hours picking weeds side-by-side, working to make a clear trail down to a fire pit, I texted Joseph saying, “If Erin wasn’t in a relationship, I’d be interested in dating her... she's cute” (or something of the like). Joseph thought that was cool, and the SSP continued.

As we spent ten days in close proximity, I not-so-subtly flirted with Erin. I guess I decided I didn’t care she was dating someone, and I laid on the charm to win her over. I am sure she would deny it to this day, but I think my efforts were rewarded. We sat near each other on the 17-hour drive back to Iowa and chatted the whole way. I am convinced she began to like me on that day.

After arriving back in Orange City, Erin promptly broke up with her boyfriend. To put it nicely, things did not end well, and drama ensued. With the emotional intelligence of a rock, I swooped in and started spending lots of time with and around Erin. More drama ensued. Lesson: give people time to heal from a past relationship before making a move. Yet, Erin and I continued to grow closer, spending time at the library, student center, or her dorm room.

Wedding Party