HOW WE MET

Jonathan and Tabitha grew up in Southeast Asia because of their parent’s mission work. Their worlds collided in a small Christian international high school in Singapore and their friendship developed through their mutual friends and interests. After graduating from high school, they continued to maintain their friendship.

HER STORY

First impressions

I was a new girl at school. While my classmate was giving me a school tour and the low-down on who’s who, I distinctly remember seeing him walk through the canteen with a certain presence about him. I asked my classmate, “Who is that?” She told me his name was “Jonathan Hane” (as though people around the school were casually known by their full names) and I remember thinking “What a strong name.” I quickly learned that his good character and reputation preceded him.

The first time we actually met, Jonathan was speaking to our mutual friend and I was distracted by a mosquito conveniently situated on his right bicep. As any sensible person would, I promptly slapped him with the intent to kill that mosquito and he was stunned. I like to think I left a good impression.

Friendship over the years

As time progressed, we discovered what C.S. Lewis described as this “secret thread” of common interests between friends. A continual sense of “No way! You like this too?” - from music to journal articles, to poets and spoken word artists, to sharing meaningful opportunities and being a source of encouragement to one another. Our Facebook chat slowly became an ongoing exchange of our favorite things.

The day before Jonathan left Singapore for college, we met up for frozen yoghurt. I was surprised to find that it was just the two of us (I was under the impression he was bringing his friend along). This was one of the few times I was able to spend quality time with Jonathan. Our time together resonated with me deeply as we shared our stories with one another. I remember thinking how incredibly rare and special he is.

While we continued to keep in contact over the years, the distance and uncertainty of where our Lord would lead us in the years to come made it difficult for us to move beyond a friendship as we were constantly in different places. Although this caused some hurt and confusion at times, we cared for each other deeply. While I had no idea how God would bring this man back into my life, I prayed for Jonathan often. Just knowing he was alive in some part of the world being a bright light made it easy to thank God for creating such a wonderful human being!

Philippines 2020

Before the world went on lockdown, Jonathan had an opportunity to return to the Philippines for some non-profit work. During that time, I was working for an NGO in Manila. Jonathan and I spent some quality time over the course of the month doing service trips into nearby villages, going for fitness classes, enjoying meals together, and having the luxury of time to catch up in both groups and 1-on-1 settings. I loved that even after 7+ years of knowing Jonathan, he remained steadfast as a person and in his faith.

I will never forget speeding through hilly roads on a tricycle after a fun day trip to Daranak waterfalls. Jonathan stopped the trike to get us coconuts (“buko”). While zipping through traffic on the back of a cosy three-wheeled tricycle, Jon was making me laugh so hard because the bumps in the road were causing me to spill the contents of coconut juice onto him. It was silly and chaotic and I hadn’t laughed from my belly like that since my dear older brother passed away. I remember thinking that I would treasure this exact moment with my friend for a lifetime.

Dating in 2022

When Singapore reopened towards the end of 2021, Jonathan returned to be with his family. This also allowed us to reconnect. After being invited to go for more outdoor runs, game nights and fitness classes, I started to wonder whether Jonathan had feelings for me.

Before he left for another trip in February, he invited me out for frozen yoghurt. The day concluded with us having the most open and honest sharing of our feelings for one another at Raffles Place train station long after the trains stopped running. Although it felt scary and uncertain because we were unsure how our paths would come together, we felt confident that this friendship was something worth building. The next day, Jonathan flew off for a 3-month mission trip in a remote place.

From the moment we started dating, we already knew we would like to get married. The intentionality of Jonathan’s pursuit in our dating season brought me a resting sense of peace and joy. 2022 was happily spent “dating” and deepening our friendship over the course of FaceTime calls, voice notes, video and text messages, and flights between Thailand and Singapore.

- Tabitha

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