The time between August 1, 2023 and August 1, 2024 - what many of you know as the "Year of Lori" - was supposed to be a year of no dating for me. God had a different plan. I had a dating app out of boredom really, which in case you didn't know, updates your location when you travel. That's why Jake ran across the profile of an American girl living in China somehow located in Cape Town. He thought it was a scam, but also thought I was cute, so lucky for me, he swiped right.

I read Jake's profile but with only a week in South Africa visiting my buddy (who also lives in China) and his family, what was the point? I thought Jake was quite handsome in his pictures and since his profile indicated that he was looking for new friends, I thought: That's fair. I'm not the type of girl who breezes into town and leads a man on. Friends, however, I could do. Lucky for him, I swiped right.

We connected and chatted throughout the week. We had no plans to meet up as I was beholden to my buddy, and Jake had to work. It wasn't until Friday, the day before I was set to return to China, that we connected on WhatsApp. I asked Jake if he had to work, and he informed me that he took the day off because he had fallen in his shower the night before. I was concerned and urged him to go to the doctor. He wasn't concerned and asked me if I'd like to meet up.

I spent the whole early morning trying to figure out how to ask my buddy if we could take an hour apart. I waffled back and forth because WHAT WAS THE POINT? of meeting this guy. So I remained quiet. My buddy and I decided we would hop on the red bus and head down to Boulder Beach to see the penguins, but as fate would have it, my buddy forgot his hat at his sister's house. In the South Africa summer sun, we couldn't not have the hat. So we sat at a coffee shop waiting for the hat to arrive when finally I said, "It's going to be too late to go see the penguins. We should just hang out at the mall." My buddy, Bryan, agreed. Mustering up all the courage I had, I continued, "I think I'm gonna meet that guy for a coffee. You good if we take an hour apart from one another?" He was. I messaged Jake and told him I had exactly one hour I could give him. We made plans to meet. I wasn't dressed for a date, but fortunately a girl always knows how to use samples at a makeup store. What can I say? I wanted to look pretty.

I arrived first, bought myself a coffee, and sat down to read my book. Jake arrived and sneakily took a picture of me from behind, then texted it to me. I quickly turned around and saw this handsome blond man with the goofiest smile. He ordered his coffee and sat down. The time with him flew by like seconds. Jake had many questions and leaned in listening intently. At the end of the hour, we hugged and I asked if we could be friends. He said yes and asked for another hug. We parted ways, both thinking what a shame it was that we lived on different continents. This really could have been something.

We texted that afternoon after coffee. We both wished there was more time. I half-jokingly blurted out an invitation to hang with me at the airport the following day for a few hours. I didn't know if I was serious, nor did I know if I believed him when he responded with a simple, "Done." I mean, who goes on a date to the airport?? Airports aren't close to anyone's house. It is expensive to park there. It is expensive to eat or drink anything. No, no, no...this guy ain't coming to the airport for a date with a girl he's never going to see again. Except...

He did.

You might not think it possible to know somebody's soul in such a short time, but you would be wrong. His soul knew my soul, and my soul knew his. It was an incredible two hours and an amazing first kiss. We held hands and talked. He cried. When we parted, I felt like perhaps meeting again was a mistake. What in the world could come of this? Him in South Africa. Me in China. I don't do long distance, and neither does he. I kept asking myself what was the point of all of this? I boarded my plane only to receive no less than 12 of the same message, give or take a few variations, that read: I will see you again. This is the first promise Jake ever made to me, and it was one that I didn't believe he would keep. Except...

He did.

I returned to China, and we connected all day, every day. After about a week, he informed me that I was his girlfriend. He was shocked that I didn't already know. He wrote in a message, "Did you just get the memo?" to which I responded, "Yeah, sort of!" Was this man really going to come to China for a third date!?

Yes.

It was a difficult few months because of work. Money for tickets and visas needed to be budgeted. At every turn there were any number of things that could have prevented Jake from keeping his promise to see me again. But, nothing did, and somewhere in the middle of the distance and the muck, we fell in love.

Jake landed in China on April 27, 2024, 10 weeks to the day from the time we parted in Cape Town. Coming together in China was the first real time we spent together. Here we were existing in my Ningbo apartment, getting to learn each other's quirks and idiosyncrasies. Learning how to make room for one another, comfort one another, deal with the ups and the downs, learning how to resolve conflict, and what it means to love somebody without judgement, harshness, expectation, or selfishness. We were learning what the other needs and how to speak the other's love language. We were learning not how to fall in love, but what was required for each of us to stay in love.

I remember a conversation we had early on about Jake's childhood growing up on the farm. In that conversation I learned that Jake and I were looking for exactly the same thing, despite getting there on different paths. We were both looking for that person we could call home. The first time I hugged Jake in China, it felt like I had come home. His embrace was unlike any other I ever had in my life, and it wasn't long before we both knew that we wanted to get married. He found his home in my eyes. I found my home in his arms. We had finally found one another.

This man of mine continually proved himself to me, even when I wasn't sure if we would work out. Somehow, he eased my fear, showed me he was trustworthy, and even took care of me when I had to have an unexpected surgery on my spine at a public Chinese hospital. In many ways I intentionally and unintentionally put his feet to the fire, and he walked over blazing coals to get to me. Throughout my entire dating life, partner after partner told me what I wanted was unrealistic, unachievable, and simply did not exist. They were wrong because in Jake, I have found a forever that is exactly perfect for me.

If Bryan hadn't invited me to Cape Town. If his family hadn't said yes to me coming. If I didn't have the money to change plans and buy a ticket. If Bumble hadn't automatically updated my location. If Jake had believed my profile was fake. If Jake hadn't fallen that day in the shower. If Bryan hadn't forgotten his hat. Those are all the things that had to fall in line even for Jake and I to meet, never mind all the other things that had to fall into place for him to come to China. Thank GOD there is a God who ordains that which is meant to be.

First Corinthians 13:4-8 says:

Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

Ours never will. I love Jake with my whole heart. I am committed to him forever and for always. He is my penguin, and I am his. Until our last breaths.