Kids, neither your mother nor I know how we actually met.

I would harass your mother for Mr Vlotman’s availability even though I had his number, hmph.

The furthest back we can take our story is to a birthday party in March 2017 - your mother, myself and Aunty Amber played a game called guess the logo (For hours on end – Jamie).

I was so smitten over her that when she was about to leave, I pleaded "Just 5 more minutes and have one more beer", she stayed and apparently this gave her the idea that I liked her. For the record she didn’t drink beer (But still I stayed – Jamie). Hmph.

Time passed us by, what seemed to be an eternity of sorrow for some. Then by the grace of the Gods (Vikings reference), I started going to visit your mother in Plumstead where she lived with Ma Osha.

One of those days, I got banished from her house like a leper in a holy city. (We laugh at this story to this day, but we won’t disclose the reasons – Jamie).

We stayed in contact as your mother and I had, and still have, this mad chemistry, we would speak for hours mostly insulting and mocking one another, I admit now I was a bit much. My tongue had no filter and for some reason your mother loved speaking with this guy we can call "Scrappy".

From 2017 onward every moment with your mother was like being in our own world, our own space. I fell in love at a very early stage but kept it hidden extremely well, EXTREMELY well! (LIES, he did not hide it well – Jamie).

We started off one afternoon in spring by going on our "first date" to RocoMamas in Rondebosch, I was so nervous this man was gazing into the sky looking for planets I tell you.

We created aliases, built our burgers and smoked cigarettes, speaking, just so you know I was not aware this was a date, your mother planned it. Hmph. (LIES, it was not a scheme, if anything, he planned it – Jamie).

I worked 12-hour shifts back then and after a nightshift, or on my days off, I would go down to see your mother, we would chill until my curfew of 3pm as your mother needed to go and fetch your big brother at creche.

Your mother and I started going out to the bioscope and walking around malls, crossing valleys and sailing oceans. There was a day in particular we won’t forget, about four times we were complimented on how we were a cute couple, your mother says we weren’t official, but we were walking hand in hand now you tell me?? Cough cough.

Our feelings blossomed much like the sacred Sakura tree, but as you know, in life, when there is love joy and prosperity, a tragedy occurs.

It was December 25th, where the Gods were angry at us and sent a plaque of fury and jealousy our way. Shortly after we ended things and walked away.

But I was not done, somehow, I snuck back into your mothers heart (after receiving a "Hello" WhatsApp two years later in 2020) with such grace and valour that Zeus himself had to cast this reunion back into the pits of Tartarus (Some sort of Greek reference, I too, was confused – Jamie).

I was not pleased, and rage consumed my heart, walking away once again I shunned the very earth she stepped upon.

Our lives moved on and we had ceased all communication. sssssssSILENCE.

Yes, another two years passed, and can you guess what happened? I received another message...Hmph!

"Hey...how are you" and from that moment on, from the 4th of May 2022 we started speaking to one another again, daily, nightly, I’m talking here by the 24/7!

Every Saturday we would drive to Paarl where your mother worked but things weren’t "official", so a month from when we started speaking, I popped the question... “Will you be my motchie?”. I wrote it on a 5x5 canvas and drove her into fields of green and splendour (It was very romantic – Jamie). The answer was: “Yes, of course my liege”. (LIES, I said no such thing – Jamie).

We have seen each other every day since, EVERY day since, to date! Not a day has gone by that I have been separated from your mother. To me this is extremely meaningful and precious, to have spent literally every day since with our queen from the moment we became "official". (For the record, this is extrmely meaningful and precious to me too! - Jamie).

Immediately we started planning our lives together and I remember as clear as Woolworths water, Ma Osha asked: "So when are you guys moving in together?", this was due to me coming through every single day to see your mother lol, little did Ma Osha know that we had a paaaar property 24 tabs open on my laptop, we had beeeeen searching lol.

Kids, our love flourished as if to catch up on all the years we should have been one, and it felt meant to be, I found my soulmate back in 2017, and yes, we failed, but third times the charm.

Your mother would send me pictures of how she would want her ring to look, something out of a Tolken Novel - truly an elvish piece of work (Funny thing is, he requested the exact ring from these Tolken novels, the ring of power, you know, "MY PRECIOUS" - Jamie).

Let’s fast forward a bit, so came spring of 2022, after I had asked Ma Osha for your mother’s hand, Amy-chan, Darryn-dono and Mr Vlotman all approved.

We went to a magical place called Buffalo drift, there was a meadow of yellow flowers stretching for miles, further than the sharingan (Naruto reference - Jamie) can see.

I took to one knee, and as the ground itself started to rumble under the pressure, I asked: "Will you be my queen?".

Your mother almost leaped out of her skin with delight and honour (I’ll allow him this creative liberty – Jamie). We climbed up into the car and we drove off into the sunrise, going home.

Time passed and Ma Osha went with us on many viewings for a home. Then we found one, fuh wuh seh (517), your mother was like: “This is the one!”. Ma Osha was as excited lol, it was a very cute moment.

We moved in together in April of 2023 and soon after we got Ibiki, yall’s sister (The cutest little pug – Jamie).

God led us to the 30th of September 2023 where your mother "officially" became your queen.

Yours faithfully into eternity, Matthew KING Davids.

TO BE CONTINUED…

The tale of OSHA. Ah yes, that has a nice ring to it (Naruto reference).

Author – Matthew Davids

Editor (and commentator) – Jamie-Leigh Vlotman, soon to be Davids.

Shoutout to all the major role-players, those who featured in the above text and those who did not. You know who you are.

Respect!