I always knew I was a strange person. It wasn’t until college, however, that I really considered how this might affect the future of my life. What are the odds that I could find someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with? I was curious, so I found some demographic statistics on the student population at the UofM. My conclusion wasn’t very promising and it changed the way I saw the people around me. A couple years later I figured that I needed a better way of finding people with similar values and beliefs, and turned to online dating. It was embarrassing at first, but I actually thought it was pretty great. It was so refreshing to get to know people under the context of getting to know each other. I met a lot of nice and interesting people, but not anyone that I felt like I wanted to spend my whole life with. I took a break but came back later at the perfect time.

In December of 2017, I found someone that seemed to check all the boxes. Siu Yi replied to my message on the 12th and by the next day we were already getting into politics. We chatted a little back and forth and then just after midnight on the 16th we made plans to meet up at Chatime, a bubble tea shop in Dinkytown, the next day at 7pm. I remember nervously walking into Chatime and looking around and nearly mistaking her for someone else. She came in right behind me and she taught me what to order. I got the same thing she got (signature milk tea, 30% sweetness with tapioca pearls) and we sat off to the side and talked until the store closed. We left the store together and just said “bye” and left in different directions. I actually needed to go the way she was going, but I didn’t want to seem creepy so I went around the long way. The ending was abrupt, but the conversation was good and I was already thinking about a second date. I later described her to my friends as “cute, and smart, and thoughtful, and a weirdo,” exactly what I was looking for.

I waited until noon the next day to tell her I had a great time, and to request a second date. Ten anxious hours later she agreed and suggested the Science Museum which is a huge plus. On December 23rd I picked Siu Yi up at the Chemistry building, and we spent the whole evening at the museum, sat in Siu Yi’s recommended seats at the Omni Theater, and lost track of time. We kept texting in the coming days. Next came a third date at a Japanese restaurant, a fourth date for dinner and watching The Karate Kid (1984) at my place and our first hug, a fifth date for dim sum brunch, a discussion on what we wanted in a hypothetical relationship, and a sixth date at Siu Yi’s place where we agreed to be a couple on the 7th of January 2018.

Siu Yi and I continued dating for a year and a half before deciding to move in together in an apartment in Northeast Minneapolis in June of 2019. Seven months later we got engaged on Christmas Day. We bought a house together and moved in around mid-April and lived through the beginning of the pandemic, camping trips, grad school, job changes, and adopting two adorable kittens. We got legally married on April 5th 2021. After that, Siu Yi finished her PhD, both of us got new jobs, and we’ve been living our lives working through projects, planning our wedding, and enjoying our time off when we can get it. I’m looking forward to experiencing the next major event of our lives on June 1st 2024, and I hope you can join us.

“What a thoughtful message. He actually read and referenced what I wrote on my dating profile!” That was my first thought when I read Ryan’s first message for me on OkCupid. I had liked his profile prior and was considering sending him a message after I had gone through all the other thoughtless, mass-produced “Hi”, “It’s my birthday” messages. It was a pleasant surprise for me to see a very long and very thoughtful message from a cute guy who seems to share my values.

After a few back and forth, I asked to meet in person. We agreed on ChaTime in Dinkytown (back when it was on SE 4th Street and not 14th Ave SE). It was a December evening in 2017. I opened the door and entered the store as I scanned the room for a face that matched what I saw online. No matches yet. Then, a tall person who entered the store seconds before I did, turned around. We made eye contact and both immediately figured out that we were each other’s date for the evening.

I ordered my usual go-to bubble tea order, while Ryan did the same because he had little bubble tea experience at that point. And he liked it. “That’s a positive,” I thought. We sat at a small table by the wall and chatted. And chatted. Then it was closing time so we had to leave. We abruptly parted that evening, and I thought the date didn’t go too well because there were a few awkward pauses during the evening.

However, Ryan reached out to a schedule a 2nd date few days later. Since it’s winter, I suggested going to the Science Musuem of Minnesota (SMM). To my delight, he agreed. I’ve always wanted to go on a date at SMM since going there on my own. The 2nd date was great! I got to ride in Ryan’s car for the first time; I got to show him my favorite seats in the SMM omnitheater; we got to have fun exploring the exhibits together.

At the end of our fourth date, I initiated our first hug. Ryan said he was going to ask for a hug too, but I was convinced that I would have left the car before he had a chance to ask if I did not already plan on asking. On January 07, 2018, we officially became a couple. Through the next four years, Ryan saw me through the 2nd half of my graduate school (Chemical Physics PhD, for people who don’t know me well), I saw him through a few job changes; we’ve had fun, we’ve had disagreements, and we’ve grown together. We officially got engaged on December 25, 2019, legally tied the knot in a small courthouse ceremony on April 5, 2021, and will soon host a ‘real’ wedding to celebrate with family and friends.

Ryan, thank you for being my goofy partner and for being so supportive. Looking forward to more adventures together!

R & S reminds me of the RS configuration in organic chemistry. When we first moved in together, we had to share a closet. I wanted Ryan to use the right side of the closet while I used the left, because R is for rectus (latin for right) and S is for sinister (latin for left).