There are some people whose reputation proceeds them. For me, knowing Ben went like that.

I knew of Ben's generous, respectful, kind, playful, and good-natured character long before I experienced it personally. I knew of Ben for years but we ran in different social circles in our church. I thought well of him but despite helping mutual friends move into new homes, being at the same retreats, being neighbors, and having mutual friends - I simply did not personally interact with Ben at all.

On a bored summer day, a conversation started up with a friend about relationships, online dating, and thoughts on YouTube relationship coaches. I thought we would laugh together and connect over the silliness. Instead, I was asked if they set me up with someone would I ever consider it. "I would!" I told them. Time went by and nothing came of it so I thought it just didn't pan out but felt cared for that my community was behind me all the same.

In the meantime I had one unique interaction with Ben out at a church retreat where I walked away with this literal thought: "This guy sees me as a friend ONLY". Little did I know that THIS was the person my friend was thinking to set me up with and they HAD brought it up to him some time back! Ben was actively thinking about asking me out at the time but I didn't know it! He was working hard not to be overly flirty. (He was very good at this part because I had no clue.) Ben had been taking some time to think and pray about asking me out, examining his heart, and waiting for some confirmations from God.

A few weeks later my roommate randomly asked me "Would you ever go out with Ben??" and I replied, "I would definitely go on a date with Ben.... but we hardly know each other so I don't see that happening." Sure enough, given another week or two I get a knock on my front door. It was Ben but I assumed he was there to talk to my roommate. He asked, "Do you have a moment to talk?" I was stunned that it was me he intended to see but told him I had a few minutes before I headed out to an event that evening. He jumps right in with "I know we don't know each other that well but I am wondering if you would like to go on a date with me?"

I was stunned, impressed, and honored all at once. While I did not know Ben well I figured that anyone who is willing to stand on my porch and ask me on a date personally is worth my time 10 times over! I accepted and we swapped phone numbers.

I closed the door after we said goodbye and thought to myself "I feel like I just got handed a gold nugget. I am not even sure if it's mine... or what it will become.... but I know what it's worth!"

We actually went on our first date that next day. It was November 1st. Together we went for a walk in one of my favorite parks and got boba tea. It was a sweet first date and there have been many since. It only took a few though for Ben to ask me to be his girlfriend. It was an easy yes. I have never felt so much peace from the Lord, my community, and inside myself in my dating life as I've had with Ben. That peace has remained in all the highs and lows of our relationship.

I had begun panicking the night before. The plan was made, the food was ready, and last-minute adjustments (thank you Mio!) had been confirmed, but none of that mattered. I was, in fact, nervous. In the 40 seconds it took to put the ring in a box, the box in a bag, and walk to the bottom of the stairs I had already begun fearing the worst. Is the box in the bag? Is the ring in the box? Am I downstairs? (maybe not the last one). But when I knocked on her door, rose in hand, everything fell into place.

We drove to a park that we had used for picnics previously. We went on a walk, discussed the merits of a medically administered posterior injection over one in the thigh, and enjoyed one another's company on a beautiful spring day. Coming upon an exciting development, I leaned over and asked her "Stacey, if you were a boy, what would be the first thing you would want to do if you were looking at what is in front of us?"

Somewhat confused and, unbeknownst to me, asking herself if this was the moment, she responded "Climb that tree?"

To which I replied, "I want to go stand on that tree stump".

With the compulsion satiated we continued our walk. When we were close to being back at the car I asked if she was hungry. She said yes, but rather than going to the car we continued past it, and voila: a preprepared picnic spread lay before us.

The time was near at hand, but before I entered the end game I gave her a choice. "You have two choices. I have a gift for you that I can give to you now, or we can play cards. But, if you choose the gift first there is a good chance we won't play cards". She chose the cards (she later told me she wanted to savor the time as much as she could). A half-hour later I was beaten and with a proud smile, Stacey was ready for her gift. I scooted closer to her and began to describe how I saw our relationship. The things that I appreciate about her, what I have been grateful for, and the immense value I have seen in her. I told her that I remembered her saying she had liked it when I had sung to her previously, and asked if she would like for me to sing her a song I had prepared. I sang "Banks" by Needtobreathe. Afterward, I shared how I wanted to fulfill that role in her life and asked her to turn around. I reached into my bag, opened up the box, told her she could turn around, and shared deeply meaningful emotional words that neither of us can remember. Then I asked, "Stacey Cotton, will you marry me?"

The face of Stacey Cotton is a true miracle of nature. No one quite knows how it performs with the incredible range and depth with which it does. Over the course of a few seconds, I saw a truly broad spectrum. But all that mattered was the tears, the smile, and the nod. But alas, my train of thought lapsed. I couldn't remember if she was supposed to take the ring and put it on herself, or if I was supposed to do that. Fortunately, she was there to help me out. She held out her hand and I took the ring and put it on her finger. Then it was my turn to cry.

God has been so good to us. We have been through a number of highs and lows but in all of it, He has been with us and guided us. He has given us grace to bear the strains we both bring to the relationship, eyes to see Himself in each other and in His timing brought things together as only He can.