There are some people whose reputation proceeds them. For me, knowing Ben went like that.

I knew of Ben's generous, respectful, kind, playful, and good-natured character long before I experienced it personally. I knew of Ben for years but we ran in different social circles in our church. I thought well of him but despite helping mutual friends move into new homes, being at the same retreats, being neighbors, and having mutual friends - I simply did not personally interact with Ben at all.

On a bored summer day, a conversation started up with a friend about relationships, online dating, and thoughts on YouTube relationship coaches. I thought we would laugh together and connect over the silliness. Instead, I was asked if they set me up with someone would I ever consider it. "I would!" I told them. Time went by and nothing came of it so I thought it just didn't pan out but felt cared for that my community was behind me all the same.

In the meantime I had one unique interaction with Ben out at a church retreat where I walked away with this literal thought: "This guy sees me as a friend ONLY". Little did I know that THIS was the person my friend was thinking to set me up with and they HAD brought it up to him some time back! Ben was actively thinking about asking me out at the time but I didn't know it! He was working hard not to be overly flirty. (He was very good at this part because I had no clue.) Ben had been taking some time to think and pray about asking me out, examining his heart, and waiting for some confirmations from God.

A few weeks later my roommate randomly asked me "Would you ever go out with Ben??" and I replied, "I would definitely go on a date with Ben.... but we hardly know each other so I don't see that happening." Sure enough, given another week or two I get a knock on my front door. It was Ben but I assumed he was there to talk to my roommate. He asked, "Do you have a moment to talk?" I was stunned that it was me he intended to see but told him I had a few minutes before I headed out to an event that evening. He jumps right in with "I know we don't know each other that well but I am wondering if you would like to go on a date with me?"

I was stunned, impressed, and honored all at once. While I did not know Ben well I figured that anyone who is willing to stand on my porch and ask me on a date personally is worth my time 10 times over! I accepted and we swapped phone numbers.

I closed the door after we said goodbye and thought to myself "I feel like I just got handed a gold nugget. I am not even sure if it's mine... or what it will become.... but I know what it's worth!"

We actually went on our first date that next day. It was November 1st. Together we went for a walk in one of my favorite parks and got boba tea. It was a sweet first date and there have been many since. It only took a few though for Ben to ask me to be his girlfriend. It was an easy yes. I have never felt so much peace from the Lord, my community, and inside myself in my dating life as I've had with Ben. That peace has remained in all the highs and lows of our relationship.