"Once ate 25 McChickens in one sitting."

"Will fight you if drunk enough."

"Claimed to have eaten a whole Costco pizza...claimed!"

"The ultimate ride or die."

"Call her if you need a chef, make-up artist, and music producer in one."

"Benches 215...2-15 pound weights."

"Will challenge you to a spell-off before considering your friendship worthy."

"Record holder of the best atomic wedgie to date."

"Will punch you if not given coffee."

"The only pharmacist that claims chai and Taco Bell can fix any illness."