Once Upon a Time at Rosa 386

Wedding Day

Ceremony

Reception

BABA on Withers

The After

Our Wedding

#VVyCCPorSiempre

No sparks flew on our first meeting. Without a shared language, the usual signs of a love connection could not be so easily found.&nbsp; But deeper than words was the sense of ease and safety. The softness of an extra hand helping to prepare a meal. The unspoken effort of reading hands, eyes, and heart to understand one another. The ebb and abundance of patience as we surfaced words to meet each other’s thoughts and feelings.&nbsp; Without a shared language meant every bit of connection was forged with intention. Ours sways to reggaeton, burns under sunny beaches, and dances in dark corners of Brooklyn bars.&nbsp; We would discover a shared dedication to justice. Carlos came to the U.S. seeking asylum from Venezuela due to his activism in Caracas. Vincent, a lifelong advocate, was compelled and inspired by Carlos’s sacrifice.&nbsp; Sometimes two journeys arriving at the same destination take different paths. And we did, for a little while. The distance between our windy paths widened and narrowed, but converged at the points in life that were hardest to handle alone. In those moments, our fated connection became clear. To best understand our story is to see where it stands now: at the peak of the highest mountain, rooted in community and justice, and facing the light.

Our Story

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#VVyCCPorSiempre﻿

In All About Love, bell hooks urges us to embrace love as a practice. She writes, "When we love by intention and will, by showing care, respect, knowledge, and responsibility, our love satisfies." We are lucky to have a friend in Gary James, our officiant, who models "love as a practice" in his connections with others. To practice love is to practice actions that foster connection and understanding. Gary and his husband, Alberto, have generously shared their advice as they've reflected on their marriage, and they've given us permission to share them with you.

Reflections on Marriage from Gary and Alberto 

Joint decision-making: No unilateral decisions. Decisions that impact the two of you should be made by the two of you. Listen for understanding: When your partner says something you disagree with or don’t understand, don’t respond immediately with your opinion. Ask questions to understand what they are saying, how they are feeling, and reassure them - even if their reaction is very different from how you would react.&nbsp; Share wants, not criticism: Don’t criticize the other person’s personality or way of doing something. Just because they are different from you doesn’t mean they are wrong. Instead, share your wants or what you’re struggling with. Don’t let negative feelings build. Feelings fluctuate but growth is enduring: The most enduring type of love is continuous, mutual growth and self-improvement - the effort to become a better version of yourself for yourself and your partner and to meet their wants. Continue working on yourself and help the other person meet their goals. Intensity of feeling and connection will fluctuate over time, but the commitment to growing together should stand the test of time. Love is a decision you make every day. Keep working on yourself: When you’re really close with another person, your flaws will come out. We all have these soft spots that when they are triggered can elicit strong negative feelings and reactions. Try to understand what your soft spots are, where they come from, how you cope when you feel them, how it impacts your relationship, and what you need from the other person. It may feel like the other person is “causing” these strong feelings, but the soft spot was likely there with you the whole time. Keep building connection: Give each other compliments and gratitude, even for small things. This will help keep building connection. Also, don’t let the impulse to be right overtake your impulse to be kind. Time apart: Spend time apart to give yourself the opportunity to miss each other. New experiences: Keep doing new things together (bowling, golf, new restaurants, etc.). Go outside your comfort zone from time to time to do something just because your partner wants to. Regular check-ins: Have regular check-ins to give each other compliments, talk about anything unresolved, and share what you need going into the next week/month.

Love as a Practice

Boro Bike Tour Road Closures?This citywide event coincides with our wedding day. Please review road closures, which will delay street and foot traffic to/front subway stations. View the <a href="https://www.bike.nyc/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/2025-Tour-Map.png" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">bike tour map</a> and the <a href="https://pix11.com/news/local-news/list-street-closures-for-five-boror-bike-tour/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">full list of road closures. </a> Do you have a registry?Your attendance is already more than we can ask for. If you wish to give, we would gladly accept financial support to help cover the cost of a future honeymoon. Contact us directly if you wish to give to our honeymoon fund. Can I bring my kiddos? Unfortunately, the venue requires all guests be 21 years or older at events with alcohol present. What’s the easiest way to get to the venue?Rosa 386 is in Williamsburg, Brooklyn and is accessible by the subway (L - Bedford Ave, G - Metropolitan Ave., JMZ - Marcy Ave) and bus (Q59, B24, B48). Is there street parking available?Don’t count on it, but if you find a spot, it’s free on Sundays.

Vincent & Carlos

Vincent & Carlos

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