National AIDS Memorial Grove

Wedding Day

Wedding

Reception

Children

Staff

Will's "side"

Ben's "side"

The Love Story

We'll skip the exposition and the individual character development, and start when the plot gets good: Ben and Will met at Burning Man in 2014, on the day before Will's 30th birthday. 

Hours after being introduced, they set out on their first date. Hours after that date started, they were side-by-side on their backs in the desert dust, surrounded by dozens of other people, all staring up at the psychedelic light display of a large art installation. At exactly midnight, Ben turned his head towards Will's and whistled the Happy Birthday song so quietly that no one else could hear. After that, the date just&hellip; never ended. 

Whether coincidence or kismet, they both lived in San Francisco. And less than a month after getting back to the city, they knew that they wanted to move in together. Ben, reluctant to jinx things, wanted to downplay how quickly the relationship milestones were flying by. He was fond of saying things like: "We're not boyfriends, though, we're co-wanderers." Will, meanwhile, was focused on more practical questions. He was fond of saying things like: "Yeah, fine. Great. But where do you want me to store my toothbrush?" 

Lou Dog and Jack Cat accepted Will with alacrity, for soon he was feeding them more regularly than was Ben. And the family was complete. 

They spent a year trying to buy a house. And then another year making their house into a home. 

And then, two years into their neverending date, Ben chose the perfect evening to propose marriage to Will. On the playa again, in front of a beautiful sculpture, surrounded by friends under a stunningly vibrant sunset, he got down on one knee... 

Before Ben had even started talking, Will was nodding yes, over and over, through tears of joy.

The First Date that never ended

The Venue

The National AIDS Memorial  Grove

Ben and Will have chosen to solemnize their commitment to each other at the National AIDS Memorial Grove, located in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park. The Grove is a dedicated space in the national landscape where millions of Americans touched directly or indirectly by AIDS can gather to heal, hope, and remember. Its mission is to provide, in perpetuity, a place of remembrance so that the lives of people who died from AIDS are not forgotten and the story is known by future generations. The sacred ground of this 10-acre living memorial honors all who have confronted this tragic pandemic; those who have died, and those who have shared their struggle, kept the vigils, and supported each other during the final hours. For Ben and Will, the Grove is the perfect spot to get married. It is a serene, secluded, beautiful garden space, tucked away within the larger magnificence that is Golden Gate Park. A picturesque outdoor setting to celebrate love and life with family and friends. But more than that, the National AIDS Memorial Grove holds deep symbolic significance for them. Will was born and raised in San Francisco at the height of the AIDS crisis. Ben is an HIV doctor who helps run the largest PrEP program in the world. By getting married in the Grove, Ben and Will hope that departed loved ones will be remembered, and that all in attendance will be reminded that the right to marry has come far too late for far too many people.

Our Story

Our Wedding

Dress Code

Black and White (and Red all over)

Color scheme - Black, white, and/or&nbsp;shades of grey, with&nbsp;red accents and accessories.











Feeling - In honor of&nbsp;Pride Weekend in SF, we want you to "Dress to feel Proud."&nbsp; What do you like to wear?&nbsp; It's&nbsp;time to show off your sartorial flair.&nbsp;&nbsp;How much creativity and personality can you express, using only grayscale clothes&nbsp;with red accents?&nbsp;&nbsp;The quirkier the better!











Formality - "Festive and fancy" is what we're aiming for,&nbsp;not necessarily "formal."&nbsp; Wear something that makes you feel celebratory, and&nbsp;elevated from the everyday.&nbsp;If you want to go the full tux/ballgown route, we're into that!&nbsp; But a button-down-and-slacks or a simple&nbsp;cocktail dress are awesome, too.&nbsp; And in the spirit of irreverent fun, mash-ups&nbsp;are greatly encouraged.&nbsp; Think tailcoats with sneakers, or designer&nbsp;pant-suits&nbsp;with fairy wings.











Practicality - Be prepared for an outdoor wedding in San Francisco, in June.&nbsp; Most likely (fingers crossed!)&nbsp;it'll be a warm, clear summer&nbsp;day, but fog can never be discounted in SF.&nbsp; Do as the locals do:&nbsp;wear layers!&nbsp; And plan to wear shoes that can handle sitting/walking/dancing on&nbsp;gravel paths&nbsp;and&nbsp;forest floors strewn with evergreen needles.

Day-of Timeline

Pre-ceremony

3:00 PM - Guests are welcome to arrive at the National AIDS Memorial Grove. Please enter through the Main Entrance, at the intersection of Bowling Green Drive and Nancy Pelosi Drive. Light

Details

Photos

Registry

Emily Barten

Eli Trichon

Lailah Robertson

Debbrah Bergeron

Erica Crane

Justin Morris

Brian Cogburn

Richard Douglass

Cale Krise

Sylvia Douglass

Wedding Party

Q + A

June 23rd is going to be a busy day&nbsp;in Golden Gate Park.&nbsp; It's a weekend, it's the summer, and it's SF's Gay Pride.&nbsp; As a result: PARKING&nbsp;MAY&nbsp;BE&nbsp;LIMITED! We suggest using a taxi service or ride-share app to get to the National AIDS Memorial Grove, if possible. For those who prefer to drive themselves, we've come up with some suggestions for&nbsp;where to park, listed below.

Getting to the Grove

There are so few of you&nbsp;fabulous folks coming from out of town that we were unable to reserve a full "block" of hotel rooms for the wedding.&nbsp; Regrettably, this means that planning and booking your accommodations is up to you. Not to worry, though!&nbsp; San Francisco&nbsp;has plenty of lodging&nbsp;options. The Haight&nbsp;- For anyone with mobility concerns, we recommend booking a place near the wedding venue (the National AIDS&nbsp;Memorial Grove, within Golden Gate Park).&nbsp; For reference, our original thought was the Stanyan Park Hotel, though we've heard they don't have vacancies during our wedding weekend.&nbsp; Really, anywhere in the Haight/Ashbury neighborhood would do, and would make for&nbsp;a quintessentially SF visit. Union Square -&nbsp; If you're looking to be a little more "in the thick of things" during your trip, we recommend staying in any of the myriad hotels around Union Square.&nbsp; That area is definitely the commercial and nightlife center of the city, with transportation hubs to match. Outer Richmond -&nbsp; And, lastly, we have a soft spot for our own neighborhood.&nbsp; The beach, the fog, miles of parks and trails.&nbsp; For a taste of how we live our lives, stay somewhere in the Outer Richmond District.&nbsp; The Seal Rock Inn, for example, isn't fancy... but eating breakfast overlooking the Pacific never gets old. Thanks again, to all of you&nbsp;who are traveling to be with us on our big day.&nbsp; We're thrilled you're making the trip!

San Francisco, CA, USA

The first thing to try is to simply&nbsp;drive around the Grove, in search of a parking spot on the street.&nbsp; Nancy Pelosi Drive and Bowling Green Drive are both zoned for free&nbsp;parking, it's just a question of whether there are any spaces available when you drive by.&nbsp; As always, obey all posted signs. If you can't find street parking, it's time to try your luck with the local parking lots.

Street Parking

If you travel south along Bowling Green Drive from the Grove, you'll arrive at the Koret Children's Playground.&nbsp; There is a&nbsp;small&nbsp;parking lot in front of the SF Lawn Bowling Club building, near where Bowling Green Drive intersects Martin Luther King Jr. Drive.

Small Lot at Koret Playground

If you travel west from the Grove&nbsp;along Nancy Pelosi Drive, and then&nbsp;take the first right turn onto Martin Luther King Jr. Drive, and then take the next right turn&nbsp;onto Music Concourse Drive, you'll reach the Music Concourse Garage.

There's an alternate entrance along Fulton Street, at 10th Avenue.



With 800 parking spots, this subterranean lot will likely have room for your vehicle, but it won't come cheap.&nbsp; Rates start at $6/hour.



It should also be noted that this garage's standard hours of operation are from 7 AM to 7 PM, and our reception doesn't end until 8 PM.&nbsp; Check in with the garage operators to see about after hours options, or else move your car from the garage to the street,&nbsp;after you eat&nbsp;dinner.&nbsp; The later in the day it gets, the more street parking becomes available.

Music Concourse Garage

ABC&nbsp;Parking is located at the southeastern corner of Golden Gate Park, adjacent to Kezar Stadium.&nbsp; The address is 825 Stanyan Street, at&nbsp;Frederick Street.&nbsp; Rates are high, but it's only a short walk away from the Grove.

ABC Parking

Travel

Cross the Golden Gate Bridge and head into the rolling hills of Northern California's wine country. Gaze out over vineyard vistas on your way to tastings at 3 wineries in the Napa and Sonoma valleys. Sip and swirl a selection of sommelier-picked vintages while you learn about the winemaking process and the area's history.
In the comfort of a luxury coach, leave San Francisco and relax as you ride north from the City by the Bay and inland to the sun-soaked winemaking regions of Napa and Sonoma Valley. Learn about the winemaking techniques used in this famed region, and hear the history of the area, from the early Spanish missionaries who brought grapes over from Europe to the Forty-Niners who served up wine in their Gold Rush-era saloons.
Make your way to 3 different boutique and large-scale wineries, stopping off at beloved estates like Nicholson Ranch Winery in Sonoma and Madonna Estate, Mt. St. John, and Sutter Home in Napa. Around midday, stop in charming Yountville to peruse the local shops and grab lunch at V Marketplace before riding on in air-conditioned comfort to your next tasting destination.

Sonoma & Napa Valley Wine Country Tour

Hilly streets lined with colorful Victorians, eclectic neighborhoods from the piers of Fisherman's Wharf to the sunny streets of the Mission, and picture-perfect landmarks from the Golden Gate to the Haight—San Francisco's a treasure trove of must-see sights. Get a lay of the land and take in the City by the Bay on a convenient double-decker bus, hopping off whenever you want to stretch your legs and get a closer look.
Snag a seat in the comfortable interior or up on the open-air top deck of a double-decker bus. Take in views of the city as you cruise up and over the trolley tracks of Pacific Heights, feel the breeze off the water by the Ferry Building on the Embarcadero, and pass beneath the international orange span of the Golden Gate Bridge to reach an incredible viewpoint looking back at the city skyline.
You can choose to just sit back and admire the passing scenery, or hop on and off wherever you want to explore more in depth, whether that means scoping out the shops of Union Square or hunting down delicious Italian cuisine in beatnik-friendly North Beach. If you want to stretch you legs, you can join one of 4 engaging walking tours of Chinatown, North Beach, Barbary Coast, and Fisherman's Wharf.
Upgrade your ticket to include a bus ride through artsy Sausalito—the charming town just across the bay—or a night tour, which lets you admire the glittering lights of the city after dark.
Route stops include:
<ul>
<li>Fisherman's Wharf</li>
<li>Washington Square / North Beach</li>
<li>Ferry Building</li>
<li>Union Square South</li>
<li>Alamo Square</li>
<li>Golden Gate Bridge</li>
<li>Palace of Fine Arts</li>
<li>Marina / Cow Hollow</li>
<li>Golden Gate Park</li>
<li>Chinatown</li>
</ul>

Hop-On Hop-Off Bus Tour

Step aboard a luxurious boat and sail under two iconic San Francisco landmarks—the Golden Gate Bridge and the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge. As you cruise, take in the city skyline and its major landmarks from the waters of the San Francisco Bay.
Admire San Francisco’s waterfront landmarks while learning about the city’s colorful history. Listen in as award-winning narration plays over your personal, wireless headphones, providing details about the bridge's construction, San Francisco's unique geology, and the earthquakes that have shaken the city over the centuries.
From on deck, take in views of Coit Tower and the Transamerica Pyramid—the tallest skyscraper in San Francisco, this towering structure has pierced the city skyline since 1972. Pass by the Ferry Building, home to bustling shops, restaurants, and a vibrant Farmer’s Market. Sail past the bayside green space of Crissy Field and catch a glimpse of the colonnaded domes of the Palace of Fine Arts.
Glide past the wildlife reserves of the Marin Headlands and the charming town of Sausalito, and slowly circle Alcatraz—this island prison once housed infamous criminals like Al Capone and George “Machine Gun” Kelly. As you approach Fisherman’s Wharf, the sound of barking sea lions basking in the sun at Pier 39 welcomes you back to shore.

Bridge 2 Bridge Cruise

Gaze up at the green canopy formed by massive redwoods, stroll down pine needle-laden paths, and learn about the acclaimed work of naturalist John Muir. Visit the Muir Woods National Monument and make a detour to charming Sausalito, returning to San Francisco by bus or by scenic ferry ride.
After getting picked up from your hotel, cruise away from the City by the Bay, rolling over the Golden Gate Bridge to catch breathtaking looks at the Pacific Ocean to the west and the white cap-covered bay to the east. Wind through rolling hills as you make your way to Muir Woods, hopping out when you arrive to lace up your hiking shoes and hit the trails. Spend over an hour wandering through the sun-dappled forest, savoring the fresh air, and remembering to snap a few photos of trees that reach heights of up to 258 feet (79 m).
Afterward, climb back on your spacious bus and head to Sausalito, listening as your guide shares stories about the history of this bayside hamlet. Spend the afternoon walking along the waterfront or exploring the town's quaint shops, restaurants, and cafes before heading back to San Fran. If you want to linger longer, opt to stay in Sausalito and catch the ferry back to the city at your leisure.

Muir Woods, Giant Redwoods & Sausalito

Wander down winding trails laden with pine needles, gaze at torrents of cascading water falling from granite cliffs, and explore open meadows flanked by towering rock formations. Ride to Yosemite National Park and spend a day uncovering the stunning corners of this magical landscape.
Hop aboard convenient transportation from your hotel and cruise north, crossing over the Golden Gate Bridge and riding through rolling hills until you arrive at the gates of Yosemite. Disembark and follow your guide for a pleasant walk down scenic hiking trails. As you stroll, listen to fascinating commentary about the natural history of this 1,190-square-mile (3,082-sq-km) wonderland.
Look for rainbows in the mist of Bridalveil Falls, watch fearless climbers scale the rocky face of El Capitan and Half Dome, or simply sit and relax next to the swift currents of the Merced River. When you're ready for a break, make your way to Yosemite Village to check out intriguing galleries, do some souvenir shopping, or consider grabbing lunch with options ranging from quick-and-easy cafes to fine dining at the Ahwahnee Hotel.
No matter how you spend your time at Yosemite, you're sure to be met with incredible views, breathtaking landscapes, and countless photo opportunities before you meet back up with your ride and return to San Francisco.

Ben & WiLl

Ben & WiLl

Details

Dress Code

Black and White (and Red all over)

Day-of Timeline

Pre-ceremony