Our story is unique, some might call it our road to learning how to love ourselves and someone else again. It tells the story of broken trust, trauma, and ultimately triumph. We met back in 2017, while going through probably the biggest struggles of our whole lives up to that point. Usually not the way most fairy tales start up, and while we didn't realize this until much later on in our relationship, meeting at that time gave us such a huge appreciation for the other. We had both known what "bad love" looked like and we were on a journey to find how to behave in a "healthy relationship." We really had nothing financially and no where to go but up, but through our struggles, I think we got closer. We were both weak in our own ways, but when one struggled, the other seemed to have the solution. We had created a bond through our new sobriety, similar pasts, and trying to rebuild our lives into what we had once known. Jared and I first met at the Genesis Club in Appleton and then through friends again at Sabre Lanes, one of our common hangouts during treatment. We hadn't really paid much attention to each other during that first day, or at least I didn't. A few days later, Jared reached out to me through Facebook and was wondering if we might go out sometime. This made me nervous because 1. I hadn't been out on a first date in years 2. Strangers and new situations make me very nervous 3. Everyone in the AA and NA programs highly frown upon getting into new relationships fresh into recovery. I agreed though and was pleasantly surprised at how that first date went. I knew from the first 5 minutes of the date that something was going to be different about this guy. From the moment I met him, I never had typical first date anxiety, that first time we talked it seemed like we had known each other for years. His story mimicked mine and I felt completely comfortable knowing that I wouldn't be immediately judged for my past. Our first official date was to Culvers, I think we sat there for close to 6 hours bonding over our lives and cheese curds. We have one of the closest couple bonds that I have ever experienced and I think most of that is because of the similarities, people, and hurt in our lives. I officially got girlfriend status on March 14, 2017 and got out of rehab shortly after that. At that time, I was inevitably looking for a place to live, and had been discussing this with Jared over the phone. He had been giving me advice on what to look for and even went to go and look at some for me. I was not planning on having a roommate, but little did I know that Jared actually had other ideas, and a few months later, barely knowing each other, we moved in together. At the beginning, we really didn't have much of anything to our names, but we started from scratch with what little money we had saved and the hand me downs we had gotten from our parents. We definitely had our fair share of difficulties learning how to live with, appreciate, and compromise with each other. But if there is anything I know about us at this point, we can get through just about everything together and I think our sobriety and the length of time it took to reach "normal" is a testament to that. Jared and I got engaged at Devil's Lake on September 23, 2017, a little over 6 months after we met and have been inseparable since. Over the past 7 years, we have been busy filling our home, moving once, and working hard for our future. We love spending time with our friends, our church groups, reconnecting with our families, and spoiling our nephews. We are very active in our church, participating in things such as ushering, prison ministry, and small bible groups. Religion has created a base for us to establish our life on and going to church has become a weekly thing for us. We love doing anything outside: camping, hiking, kayaking, swimming, and organized runs. Our hearts are so filled with the love that we get from the people around us every day and we make an honest effort to radiate that into our house. Our lives are much different now, we are much different people now, and we have grown together in too many ways to count. To me, Jared has been my ride or die since that first fateful day at Culvers but it is finally time to make "Mrs. Thebo" official!

Our lives have been an absurd story held together by fate, frowned-upon choices, shared trauma, and hearts too big for our own good.

Fate: We found ourselves in treatment at the same time and city, attending the same NA meetings, and sitting in certain seats where she caught my eye. We were both at the beginning of a new journey, growing up and learning how to become our true selves.

Choices: Reaching out to her through Facebook, too scared of fumbling my chance in person, ignoring advice from our support system at that time that said, “work on yourself, don’t date.” Letting our guard down after forcing ourselves to build one so we wouldn’t be hurt

again.

Trauma: Launching ourselves early-on into a life we weren’t raised to live, poisoning our bodies and surrounding ourselves with poor influences. All this time, slowly becoming terrible versions of who we knew we could be, with all of the chaos and confusion and disruption that tagged along with it.

Hearts too Big: Giving our all and then some to people who didn’t deserve it. Hoping for a shred of evidence that they would change into the fictious idealization we concocted in our heads. We were both damaged and hurting from the years of self-abuse we kept putting ourselves through.

When suddenly, our journeys collided…

Not being sure how to go about us getting to know each other in a healthy way, I took her to Culvers for our first date. After close to 6 hours of sitting in a booth, receiving glares from confused employees, and three staggered food/ice cream orders later, the easy conversation made our time fly by faster than I’ve ever experienced. I knew that I had to hold onto what this was even if I had no idea what it was or where it would go. Things progressed faster than we both wanted or expected, and we found ourselves living together, even if it meant me moving into her apartment before she realized what was happening. Looking back now, moving into her little two bedroom upper was a huge life changing decision for both of us and I wouldn’t trade a single day for anything during those 5 years we lived there. We learned so much about each other; good, great and ugly. We both stumbled a lot, learning how to pick one another back up, while trading lessons and trudging through our new adult lives. Within months of living together, I asked her to marry me on the top of a cliff in Devils Lake State Park, knowing I found the woman I wanted to grow old with. Through all this time together, we discovered many common interests and threw ourselves into them; tent camping across our beautiful state, watching and constantly quoting “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” attending numerous Wisconsin Timber Rattlers games, and realizing we loved spending as much time together as possible no matter when, what, or where. We’ve been through a lot of ups and downs together in the 7 years we’ve known each other, but the one constant is always wanting to be the best versions of ourselves for the other and doing everything we can to make each other happy. I thank our Lord every day for the overflow of blessings in our lives and cherish every moment we get to grow closer to each other and Him. We are so ready and excited for our next chapter, to finally be husband and wife.