Tim: Steph kept bugging me the whole time to hang out. I finally said yes.

Steph: Not exactly. We'd been coworkers for like 8 months at this point, bartending together. I'd hung out with pretty much everyone else we worked with, except Tim, but yeah, maybe I asked him a few times. Out of the blue one day, he actually agreed to hang out, much to my surprise. But now we had to figure out what to do on a random Sunday. Didn't want it to be too much like a date.

Tim: I said don't worry; I have a plan.

Steph: He had a plan?!? He had just agreed to hang out like 30 seconds prior... how did he already have a plan?? But that's fine. After brunch with the girls, he picked me up at 2pm.

Tim: I took her to a local hangout bar for a cocktail. We had a good time talking and energized the people around us, dragging them into our nonsense debates.

Steph: Listen, it's important to know which is more dangerous: riding a moose or petting a tiger!! He's right, the whole bar joined in. After a drink, he settled the tab and said we've got places to go. First stop: a funplex that I didn't even know was right down the road!

Tim: We went roller blading and I secretly had my phone out videoing her, kinda hoping she'd fall. She seemed a little unbalanced.

Steph: I hadn't skated since breaking my ankle 8 years earlier! He claims he was trying to record me falling, but seeing Tim skate behind me, phone pointed at me, smiling a goofy grin... that was the first time I thought this might actually be a date.

Tim: Next up was laser tag! I play a lot with my friends, so it wasn't my fault...

Steph: He shot me!!! Like, a lot! We had a secret alliance against all these little kids, an agreement not to shoot each other. And every time I turned around, he shot me again. Supposedly on accident. So obviously, I was ready to take him down in air hockey afterwards. I started out strong and was up by at least 4 points.

Tim: Me being the competitive person that I am, I couldn't let her win.

Steph: Even on a date!

Tim: A non-date. So I didn't hold back and came through for the win!

Steph: We hadn't stopped laughing for hours and at this point, I thought he'd drop me off and we'd chat about all the fun at work the next day. But on the way toward home, Tim asked if I was hungry and suggested a place I'd never been to. He had me at Cajun food.

Tim: The food was amazing and our conversation continued to be as well. Once again, we had everyone laughing with us at the restaurant.

Steph: Yeah, I think we somehow hit really deep topics in private conversation and minutes later had the entire place in stitches with our banter. I was having so much fun, I didn't want to go home. Conveniently, one of our coworkers passed by the restaurant and recognized Tim's car.

Tim: She asked us to hang out at one of our usual spots.

Steph: THEIR usual spot, not mine. I'd never been to this bar either. It was a whole day of firsts for me.

Tim: I played some pool and left her to hang out among my friends to see how she would do. Of course I checked on her, because I'm still a nice guy.

Steph: It was really cute. He would take his turn at pool and then come right back to chat with all of us. I didn't feel neglected at all. And somehow, being abandoned among his friends made it feel even MORE like a date. But it wasn't a date. Anyways, the final part of the non-date involved playing the "bird game" with my friend, Heather, back at my place.

Tim: My competitive spirit kicked in again, and the game took forever. I had to understand all the rules and I didn't want to lose. But I did.

Steph: He seriously wanted to know every possible move and its consequences each turn. For those of you who know Wingspan (the bird game), you know I'm not exaggerating when I say this game took THREE HOURS. But he did all right for his first game. Heather was a good sport.

Tim: I was having fun, but it was time to leave.

Steph: yeah, it was 2am!! And this was the cutest part of the whole non-date. At 2am, in freezing cold February, this man took out my dog, my trash, AND my recycling before giving me a gentlemanly hug and heading home. He's a keeper.

Both: But it wasn't a date!

We wrote chapter 2 as a series of questions and then answered them separately, without reading each other's responses until the end.

Q1: How long were you apart?

Steph: About 6.5 months officially, but it felt like forever, especially since we'd been dating for less than 4 months when I moved out of Bloomsburg. We did get to see each other multiple times in those months, though, to break up the distance. I left at the end of May, but visited in June, Aug, and Oct. Tim came down to St. Thomas mid-December.

Tim: It may have been only a few months but it felt like forever. My days were filled with just working, sleeping, eating, and the occasional hanging out with friends. They felt very empty without Steph by my side. I missed having her there even for the simple things like sharing a meal.

Q2: What did you do while apart? How did you deal with not having each other around?

Steph: I think I got the better part of the deal: I spent all of July in Europe visiting friends! I got to see the UK, Italy, Austria, France, and Denmark via train, enjoying the landscapes of Germany and Switzerland in the process. Such an amazing adventure!! Then after a quick stop in PA, I moved down to the Virgin Islands at the end of August. I explored St. Croix for two weeks, then hopped over to St. Thomas and began setting up my life there. I was so busy during this time and while I very much missed Tim, I was fairly overwhelmed by all the things I was juggling, and it didn't hit me too hard until about October. The last two months of separation was a long drawn-out countdown, during which I lived for the texts and phone calls we shared.

Tim: I was pretty bored not having her with me. I played a LOT of video games and watched shows. Working in a college bar didn’t leave me with a lot of time to do other things after work. Basically I just filled my time with menial tasks to make time go faster till I got to be with her again. I also spent some time with my friends when I could, since I was going to not see them for a long time. I had lived in Bloomsburg since 2006 so the friends I had almost became family, and I was going to go from seeing them almost everyday to not seeing them for who knows how long.

Q3: Who was more sad to be apart?

Tim: I was pretty sure I was more sad because even though we both missed each other very much, I was stuck in a little town and she was on an island. I was doing the same thing day in and day out and she was constantly going on a new adventure. Even just looking for a job gave her a chance to explore a whole new world!

Steph: Heh... probably Tim at first. But I think me towards the end. Life in the islands was incredibly isolating and more difficult than I expected. I found myself missing him and wondering why I'd told him it was too soon to move down with me in August. December couldn't come quickly enough. But over the summer, while I was having the time of my life with my friends: yeah probably Tim was more sad.

Q4: How did you keep the romance alive?

Steph: Phone calls. Texts. Virtual game nights with my family. All the usual. But also, we were very intentional about building our relationship during this time: we took turns asking each other deep questions on some calls and made sure to share the little things about our days. I know very few guys who enjoy talking on the phone, and Tim is certainly not one of them, but he always made time for me, never making me feel bad for being needy. Tim was also beginning to explore his faith and so we got to share some great conversations about God, which helped to center us and grow our love. It definitely helped that we were able to see each other every 2 months, too, including October when I flew home for my cousin's wedding. It wasn't easy, but it was worth every bit of effort.

Tim: Well she first left to go see her friends in Europe so I would call her a lot when the time difference worked in our favor, and she would tell me about all her new adventures. It was good to hear how happy she was catching up with old friends. She told me it made her happy every time she told her friends about me so it made her think of me all the time. As for me, I would tell everyone who knew I was getting ready to leave about where I was going and why I was going. (Which was for Steph obviously). It would make me more excited each time I talked to someone about it.

Q5: What were the best and worst parts of long distance?

Tim: There is no good part of being away from someone you care about for so long. Especially when just starting a relationship. At 10 months in, we had already spent 5 of those months apart. It was very hard. That being said, I believe it helped us grow as a couple. We relied a lot on God

for guidance and talked to each other as much as we could. I live by the fact that communication is the key factor in any successful relationship. With God as the center, it was easier to help us grow and love each other more.

Steph: The worst was the loneliness. Both while traveling and as a bartender at a resort, I interacted with people all day long. Normally after such an exhausting amount of social time, I would relish every second of time to myself. But knowing that Tim was so far away, doing things that I couldn't be a part of, made me really lonely when the distractions died down. It was my first taste of being in a partnership after 13 years of being single and the first time I would rather share my alone time with someone else. The best part was discovering that exact desire: I wanted a partner. I had been very content to be alone for so long and was independent to a fault. I thought that being on my own would bring that sense of freedom it always had before, but this time things were different and I think that was the best part of being long distance. I learned that Tim had impacted my life in a permanent way.

Q6: Do you think long distance ultimately hurt or helped your relationship?

Steph: Helped. For sure. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it as a tool to gauge whether your partner is the right one, but I think it helped us in a lot of ways to grow together while apart.

Tim: This question is very easy...we are getting married on July 13th!

Q7: Would you do it again now?

Tim: I would, only because we are much stronger now, so it should be easier than before. We are getting married, so I have no doubts she wants to be with me and we can make anything work. I would not be happy about it, though.

Steph: No, not if I could help it. We can't even go a week apart without lamenting about how miserable it is. If we had to, we could get through anything, but voluntarily?? Not a chance. Life is just better with Tim in it.

(As told by Steph)

It sounds like paradise: living on a sunny island, bartending on the beachfront, swimming with sea turtles on the regular, setting sail on sunset cruises. What a life! But you know, when it comes to paradise on Earth, it's usually too good to be true, and St. Thomas was no exception for us.

Now, truly, there were some wonderful parts, like I really did get to work right along the ocean. I tended bar at the Margaritaville resort on the east side of St. Thomas and managed to snag a tiny place to live within walking distance of work. As in, a 30-second walk, closer than some of the parking spots for guests! The weather was sunny and gorgeous (for the most part) and we had multiple pools at our disposal, plus a whole island full of beaches. Public transportation was fairly cheap, although it required a good bit of patience and know-how, the latter being far easier to attain than the former. But all-in-all we saved money by not having a car, so I think that part was worth it. And, of course, there are the friendships we made: very few in such a short time, but the ones we've maintained made all the difference in our survival through some pretty rough times. Let me start at the beginning.

As mentioned in the last chapter, I arrived in St. Thomas about 4 months before Tim. As the more experienced traveler, it was my job to establish roots and find jobs and housing for both of us. I landed in St. Croix in August and spent two weeks exploring the larger, less-populated island before realizing there wasn't enough tourism to keep us afloat financially. So I hopped on a miserable 3-hour ferry, which more closely resembled a submarine or a rocket, and quickly learned where it got it's nickname: the Vomit Comet. Luckily no cookies were tossed on my voyage, but my stomach churned for hours even after I got to dry land. My dad met me in St. Thomas for a few days to help explore and find the right area; (he'd been to the Virgin Islands before, and it was nice to have some knowledgeable company!) God-spoiled as I am, we managed to find the perfect job at the resort with an immediate, urgent need to hire bartenders and voila: I had a job! Finding a house took two months of hopping around Airbnbs, but I ended up pretty blessed in that regard as well. All that was left was getting Tim to join me.

The thing is, I began to notice some of the negativity before he even arrived. I've been all over the world, to every continent except Antarctica, 20+ countries and 40+ states, and I can easily say that St. Thomas was the least welcoming place I've ever been to. To be clear, I'm talking about the culture as a whole and not interactions on an individual level. People are wonderfully good and intricate beings, and the majority of one-on-one conversations with people from St. Thomas were perfectly normal and indistinguishable from those to be had anywhere else. But the culture of a place, though comprised of individuals, is also subject to the various influences of media, social expectations, economics, and many other outside factors. I witnessed respected adults skip work with no notice, scream at their superiors in front of customers, get in fist fights while working, or come into work high/drunk. I was bullied to the point of tears on my second day of work by a local who didn't want to pay the auto-gratuity and yelled into my face asking me if I really thought I deserved a tip. Staff and managers alike drank on the job, sometimes to points of non-functioning, and many a menu stated one price while the bill showed a higher one (only changed if the customer noticed/complained). These things were endemic to the entire island, due to, in my opinion, a culture of cultivated immaturity; a lack of respect for authority, unenforced rules, and escaping from, rather than facing, one's problems. Again, I affirm that no one person or group of persons are to blame, and when you grow up with a particular idea of what's acceptable, it's hard not to give in and become part of the problem. But as someone quite sensitive to her surrounding emotional environment, I began to be perpetually exhausted from it all.

By the time visitors and then Tim arrived in December, I was starving for the presence of joyful vacationers. All through December and into January, I had family/friends to distract me from my depressing observations and for the first time since setting foot on the island, I had a blast!! We did all the touristy things: snorkeling with sea turtles, swimming with dolphins, trekking on the ocean floor, paddle-boarding past jumping eagle rays, cruising on a sailboat at sunset, drinking beach-themed cocktails, and all of the other things you're supposed to do on a tropical island! Though painfully expensive, I finally got to experience why tourists love St. Thomas.

Outside of visitors, however, the negativity was quick to seep back into our lives. We struggled to find Tim a job or a house in the middle of high season, which left us working completely opposite shifts and living together in a tiny studio with only a microwave for cooking and not much else; not even a couch to sit on. I had never wanted to live with a partner before marriage and this amplified the stress of rarely seeing each other while still breaking this cardinal rule for me. And there were a million little things to top it all off: the fact that imported goods are crazy expensive (and the island is too small to provide much for itself). The lack of walkability anywhere; no sidewalks, no shoulders, no walking trails (so much for my 7-mile leisure walks!!) There was also nowhere to go. Think about it: If you get tired of where you're at right now, you can probably get in a car and drive for 15 min, 1 hour, 4 hours, and be somewhere totally different. St. Thomas is 32 square miles, most of it winding roads and housing. There's nowhere to go to get a break from the everyday monotony or to escape from the thousands of cruise ship passengers passing through daily. It left us feeling very trapped.

The upside to all of this is that Tim and I grew in our relationships with God and with each other. We learned a lot about communication and what it means to be in a partnership. We had to rely on God to help us find joy in the little things so that we could share our smiles with those around us. We read purposeful books to nurture our love and respect for each other, finding ways to keep the laughter flowing amidst all the frustration and exhaustion. The more we began to plan our potential future, the more we realized that it wasn't going to be on St. Thomas.

And so, less than 6 months after Tim's arrival, we planned our escape. We had a few last fun adventures, like browsing for rings in the jewelry stores so Tim could get a feel for what I might like. We also hosted some good friends, followed by the remainder of my family. Even my parents visited, which apparently worked perfectly for Tim to be able to ask their permission to marry me. (!!!!) We went swimming with sea lions and chartered a boat to the British Virgin Islands, two of our last tropical adventures. But in June of 2023, with only a vague plan to start a food truck and no money with which to do it, we waved goodbye to the beautiful, broken island of St. Thomas and set out to find a new home and begin the next phase of our life together.

(As told by Tim)

As Steph said, while we were in the VI, her family came down to visit. I thought, no better time to ask her parents for their blessing, considering they were gonna be in a good mood since they were on vacation. I got their blessing and started on the next step….the ring! I got some help from her friends on picking it out. This was a long process considering what she said she wanted. While we were still back on the island, we went ring shopping to get an idea for the future, but her comments made it kind of tough. She said things like, “I want the band to be not too thick, but not too thin.” Other comments were a bit more helpful like, “I don’t want any diamonds” or “I like a leafy pattern.” All the rings in St. Thomas were overpriced and pretty over the top, so I decided to go shopping online. After a few days I found one I thought she would love and decided to buy it. It was scary 'cause I had to get it sent to my parents house so she wouldn't find out about it. As soon as it arrived, I had my mom open it to make sure it wasn’t damaged, and all turned out ok. It is a leafy band that is not too thick and not too thin with small amethysts and bigger moonstones. I decided on moonstones because she calls me "Moonshine." I knew she would love it. (She does!)

When we left the island, we moved back to PA for a bit to decide on the next step of where we were going to live. During this time, we stayed at her parents' place. We spent time looking at possible locations to check out in NC and also visiting friends and family we had not seen in almost a year. We decided to make a trip up to Bloomsburg for a couple days and on the way we were going to stop and see my parents. I thought that was perfect so I could grab the ring and be ready to go at any time. Now all of you who don’t know Stephanie, she is really hard to surprise. Like really hard. She does the planning most of the time so it’s understandable why. I had no idea how I was gonna pop the question. This ended up working in my favor, though. One of the days we were in Bloomsburg we decided to do an escape room. Steph had planned it and so I thought it was a perfect time to do it, so she wouldn’t have any idea it was happening. The day before, while Steph was in a (virtual) job interview, I went out to get a surprise for her and snuck away to the escape room to set something up. I talked with a guy there for a bit and he said he could make something happen. We were doing the escape room the next day though, so it was really short notice. When I heard nothing back from the guy the whole day, I started getting nervous.

By the next day, when it was time for the escape room, I still had no idea about anything. The guy never contacted me back. We walked in and nobody said anything about it to me. I didn’t even know if they knew about it because it was totally different people. I was freaking out inside but somehow kept a calm demeanor on the outside. When was it gonna happen? Where is it gonna happen? How is it gonna happen? Would there be a special note inside one of the clues? When we entered the escape room my heart was racing. At every completion of a puzzle I was like “Is this the time?” Next thing I knew….we finished the room. I was completely perplexed. What was I gonna do now? They asked us to get in a group for a photo for completing the room. I thought, “This must be it!” They gave everyone a sign to hold up for the picture. I expected mine would be special with “Will you marry me?” on it or something. Nope. Wrong again. I was freaking out. I decided it was gonna happen now cause I wouldn’t have a chance to surprise her like this again. When they told us to say cheese, I got down on one knee holding the ring out. The funny part is, Stephanie was like motioning for me to get up cause I was weirdly off to the side so she thought I was not in the picture. She just kept looking forward though. Finally she looked over and saw me with the ring. Shock was clearly written all over her face. They other guys were still looking forward at the camera because they had no idea what was going on. It turned out to be the perfect picture! I couldn’t even tell the rest of the group because I didn’t want Steph to find out somehow. When they finally looked over and they were like, “OH!”... I don’t think it could have gone any better.

(Written together, for worse or for better)

And here we are: in a new town, in a new state, figuring things out one step at a time. We spent the summer searching for and deciding where to live. We had planned to explore many cities throughout the Carolinas, but after just one visit, we knew we'd found our home in Belmont, NC. This cute little town is just outside Charlotte, 15 min from the airport, and 10 min from any kind of shopping we could want. Belmont has quaint, small-town vibes, and great weather brings everyone outside. People actually walk and enjoy their surroundings here! They even greet you as they pass with genuine eye contact. From kids playing in the park to dogs out on a walk to couples grabbing drinks with friends on an outside restaurant patio, Belmont is full of life and community. It's everything we wished we'd had in the islands. Well, almost everything: winter isn't nearly as warm here as in St. Thomas, but it's still warmer than PA!!

We found a lovely church here in Belmont, with giant glass windows that let in all the sunshine, bringing warmth and light to Sunday mass. Even more exciting than the church is Tim becoming a part of it by starting RCIA classes. For those who don't know, RCIA stands for the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults, and it's basically weekly classes delving into Catholic teachings and history for those who are interested in becoming Catholic. This Easter (2024), Tim gets to formally say yes to God through the sacraments of the Eucharist and Confirmation just a few short months before formally saying yes to Steph in the sacrament of marriage. What a whirlwind of blessings in our lives!

Speaking of whirlwinds, alongside the move, RCIA, and the obvious wedding/honeymoon planning, our idea to start a food truck has progressed into blueprints, recipes, and a business license for a food trailer!! Pretty much everything except the funds to have it built. Right now we're putting our hope in loan applications and a lot of help from God to get us over this next hurdle. Meanwhile, Steph snagged a corporate job as a Senior Data Analyst to pay the bills for the time being (the position she was interviewing for in the engagement story). Although overthinking and analysis go hand-in-hand, and thus the job is a decent fit for Steph, we're really looking forward to working on this shared dream together: Tim cooking and Steph handling the social aspect. We've begun testing the recipes on family and friends and have secured the official name of the food trailer: Try Something Newdles... clever, we know. As you can tell, Tim intends to sell noodle-based creations, while remaining focused on simplicity and efficiency. Essentially, each dish will be comprised of noodles, veggies, protein, and homemade sauces sauteed on a flattop (simplicity); the creativity comes into play in the variety of sauce flavors and an ever-evolving menu based on customer satisfaction and Tim's imagination.

And that's all, folks! That's our story. Now that you're all caught up on the past and present, we look forward to seeing you on July 13th for the beginning of Chapter 6: the future.