Carson and Dan met on a Wednesday morning around 8:30 am on August 24, 2016. They were attending their first day of class for their doctoral degrees in clinical psychology at Wheaton College in Wheaton, Illinois. Although destined to eventually get to know each other, Dan and Carson truly became acquainted that morning during a “first day of graduate school” icebreaker activity of a life-sized Rock-Paper-Scissors Tournament initiated by the man who would later become their respective doctoral dissertation advisor and trusted friend. Time has a funny way of distorting memories, but Carson consistently claims that she won that rock-paper-scissors face-off. And since Dan cannot remember how things played out, chances are she is probably right.

Although Carson and Dan met that day, any aspirations for romance did not begin until later during spring of 2017. Dan had suffered a string of dead-end relationship attempts and, being friends with Carson, decided to confide in her about his lack of success in the relational arena. Throughout the process of confiding in Carson as a friend and relational advisor, he fell for her in the process. Specifically, Dan remembered looking at Carson dancing one night while out for their classmate Christina Hollman’s birthday and thinking, “Wait…. What about her [Carson]? She’s hot and super fun!” Around this time Dan went out and bought a used longboard so that Carson, an avid longboarder, could “teach him how to longboard.” Real smooth. After all, she totally fell for it! In fact, Carson remembers that after one such “teaching Dan to longboard” session, she and Dan decided to go to Jimmy John’s for some dinner off Roosevelt Road in Wheaton. While driving there, Carson remembers Dan casually asking, “Would you ever date someone in the [Wheaton College PsyD] program?” To which her answer was “Heck no! If things went south, it would be social and professional suicide!” Thank God Almighty that Carson’s fear-drenched answer did not deter Dan from pursuing her.

Over the next month, Dan asked trusted friends and family for their wisdom about whether he should pursue Carson. Meanwhile, Carson was finding herself wanting to spend increasing time with Dan but could not understand why; “What is this feeling? I want to be around him all the time. Weird.” Classic Carson. This culminated in Dan taking a leap of faith and finally asking Carson out for a date in late spring of 2017. Carson remembers Dan, not “asking,” but stating, “I’d like to take you out… to dinner.” After that, Carson’s face must have reflected some strong emotions as her classmate Christina, whom she was with, kept mouthing, “What’s he saying?!” as she sat in her car with Carson outside of the Marshalls in St. Louis, Missouri.

Carson was speechless, which is a feat in and of itself, and was understandably shocked, as approximately one month prior they had discussed how dating anyone in the program would be foolish and extremely faux pas. Carson thoroughly considered Dan’s offer to take her out to dinner. In fact, she promptly waited three days before seeing Dan for an entire evening at a formal function before denying his dinner offer because “she already knew how she felt about [him]” and “didn’t want to waste a meal.” How seemingly efficient, right? However, other feelings prevailed and two weeks later, Carson’s fear of vulnerability was overcome by her mom and one of her best friends’ (Alina Cartwright) advice to “Go for it!” as she accepted Dan’s offer for dinner.

Three extremely amazing dates (And yes, some of Dan and Carson’s favorite things were involved: Sushi, Navy Pier, Star Wars, and Italian cuisine), Carson’s traumatic car wreck, another rejection by Carson, a summer of contemplation by Dan, and a collectively wild weekend in Washington, D.C. (thank you Madam’s Organ!) later, Carson and Dan found themselves discussing the potential for a romantic relationship during fall of 2017. In retrospect, this conversation may not have even happened if a dear friend and classmate, *cough cough* Luke Vander Wal, had not poured Carson a strong “night mix” at a classmate bonfire. Carson, having (finally) gotten honest with herself and much improved in her bravery during their summer apart, told Dan that she had been thinking about him all summer and wanted to give “talking” a try. Dan immediately translated her fear-based speech “talking” into “dating,” which brought him great joy. This began Carson and Dan’s relationship, which they officially decided started on October 15th, 2017; the day Carson was able to demonstrate her ability to use “boyfriend” in reference to Dan without visible cringing or noticeable changes in her speech rate, tone, or volume. It took Carson a while to come to the realization that she could be a strong, self-sufficient, confident woman and have a significant other. In retrospect, Carson recognizes that these difficulties were centered on identity hang-ups. She realized over time that the resolution of these sorts of things took patience, wise counsel, authentic self-reflection, and the help of a therapist. Additionally, Carson has continuously challenged Dan in unique and profound ways; specifically, she calls him to greater depths of humility, admission of normal human weakness, and the potential to grow in one’s ability to be emotionally expressive and comfortable in his masculine identity. All in all, Carson and Dan clearly make each other better people.

Nearly three years later, Dan and Carson have become experienced bushmasters as they have waded into uncharted relational territories. Guided by their sincere love of Jesus Christ and devotion to God, they have fallen deeply in love as they have traversed vast swaths of relational landscape. Many of you have witnessed firsthand or heard about Dan and Carson’s relational failures and triumphs. And they have realized just how blessed they are to be surrounded by people who will continue to help them in their journey towards God and each other. For this, Dan and Carson are eternally grateful and thankful. Now, nearly released by their academic tasks and degree requirements, they are happily announcing their plans to become of one flesh on September 24, 2022 at Dillingham Ranch on the island of O’ahu (Hawai’i). Therefore, it is with delight that we (Carson and Dan) extend our warmest invitation to witness our marriage and celebrate with us!