All Ears DJ

e absolute nightmare was you. No one will tell you that in the gilded world in which you live in, but all the vendors at the wedding who weren’t being paid to appease you agreed wholeheartedly that you were OUR worst wedding of the year. Before I dive into it, let’s start with the basics. You never even said hello to me. Not once did you introduce yourself or thank me for DJing your wedding. Instead you hid passive-aggressively behind the veneer of your wedding planners. I hope you paid them an amount suitable for all the BS they had to choke down and vomit back up as smiles. You never once expressed empathy for the death of my Grandma in the days preceding your wedding. I delivered the eulogy at her funeral on Friday, buried her and flew back to the Bay fully confident that I could nonetheless bring a good spirit and professional attitude to your wedding. My Grandma’s passing is NOT an excuse for anything that happened at your wedding, only an illustration of the fact that you were completely focused on yourself and insensitive to my needs and emotions as a human being. You referred to me as “ghetto”, a detail that was not lost on my black wife as we sorted through the fallout from your barrage of mean-spirited emails in the days following your wedding. For you as an upper-class Chinese woman to use such terms indicates your complete lack of cultural sensitivity and frankly your ignorance and racism. The only interaction we had on your wedding night was you berating me about playing a song for the father/daughter dance that you had chosen a month prior on our phone call. I apologize for not catching the revision, but with an almost-daily barrage of emails and changes in the month prior to the wedding that’s exactly the sort of thing that’s bound to happen. You made no mention of the fact that your ceremony was executed flawlessly and your dance floor was packed for two hours. Are such things indicative of a one-star performance? Now here are some things that did not happen at your wedding. I was not “hostile” nor rude to your family, friends or wedding planners. There were a couple moments during the evening where I was exasperated and yes it probably showed. But I did not direct this energy at anyone in particular, I only occasionally took a minute to compose myself and come back to perform the job I was hired to do. I did not consume alcohol at your wedding. Around 10pm I tried to get a beer (and boy could I have used one!), but your planner informed me that vendors were not allowed to drink because “it’s a liability”. Well frankly I’m 38 years old and I’m liable for own decisions, but I nonetheless left the beer at the bar and finished my set. My energy was not “negative” nor “low”. I try to avoid being on the mic when it’s not necessary, and if I would have been on the mic more it probably would have been awkward. The timeline kept getting shifted around and I was receiving conflicting directions from your planning and catering team. My DJ set was interrupted not once but TWICE by a Chinese street performer named Mr. Chunky. While I was more than happy to accomodate Mr. Chunky’s first performance, it became increasingly clear that Mr. Chunky wanted to be the star of the show. These interruptions curtailed any momentum we were building during the dance portion of the evening, as we had to kick people off the dance floor and turn all the lights on. The only reason the slideshow was not looping for the duration of the reception was because you didn’t walk over to me and ask for it. I removed my projector and screen from the dancefloor during dinner at the request of the catering staff, but it could have been turned on at anytime. This wedding is a classic example of what happens when a bride is so obsessed with her wedding being “perfect” that she barely enjoys herself and walks away resentful that her wedding fell short of the Disney movie she envisioned in her dreams. I guess someone has to take the blame and too often it is the DJ. It should also be noted that despite my clear communication that your remaining balance was due prior to the start of your wedding, you withheld it for three days to spite me. I appreciate you finally paying it but this was a petty act on your part. I hate that it’s come to this, but when you slander my good reputation I’m not the sort of business owner who is going to “cowtow” to you like the rest of the help in your life. You are accountable for the mud you fling and in this case you are way out of line. PS: Sorry I didn’t play any Coldplay. They haven’t been good since their first two records and no one dances to Coldplay. Also, “Blurred Lines” is by Robin Thicke not “Alan Thick”.

takes during the day, but as I recall your big day went swimmingly and therefore I’m mystified by your disappointment. I wasn’t “disinterested” in the least and I received numerous warm compliments during my acoustic set. The dance floor was packed all night and I most certainly didn’t double-play songs as that’s always something I’ve avoided. If I was grabbing a track or two last-minute it was only because your choices kept changing. I’m more than happy to be flexible, but multiple last-minute changes were made and I was simply doing my best to accommodate them and execute a flawless reception. Based on your review, it really seems like most of your dissatisfaction stems from me simply holding you accountable for the package you chose and contract you signed? I do apologize for my error on the remaining balance but I did clarify it quickly and very apologetically. Honestly, it seems as though you were already annoyed with me before I showed up, and honestly I was also frustrated with the situation, but I never let it impact my performance at an event, especially a wedding. I wish you the best of luck with the rest of your lives together passive-aggressively finding fault with “the help” rather than effectively communicating your needs and expectations :(

ll them "bridezillas". They're real and they exist and they are you. The only silver lining for us is that we got our 2018 bridezilla out of the way early. Hopefully smooth sailing from here! Every time I encounter one of these brides, I explore all possible options to assuage them. But as the year's have passed and I've had more experiences like this, I've realized a common thread. They don't want to be pleased... THEY WANT TO BE MISERABLE. Literally there must be something cathartic in crying, fretting and lashing out. Perhaps this is the experience they were seeking when they started planning their wedding. The only kink in our planning process was a switch from DJ Martin Bush to DJ Colin Halliburton one month prior to the wedding. At that point, you assumed the sky was falling and went into full bridezilla mode. Your asked your father - a lawyer - to call me and make threats, all the while emphasizing that he was a lawyer and that Erica always gets her way. Perhaps this is the first time in your gated-community life that you didn't get your way? Perhaps you should have gotten married on Ventura Boulevard rather than a place like Kansas City where people treat their wedding vendors like friends and not like the help. Sometimes we actually do make mistakes. We take ownership of them and offer apologies and sometimes even refunds. In your case, there never was a problem. You said as much in your review: "the DJ we ended up with was fine". Honestly it was probably better than fine because Colin is every bit as talented and experienced as Marty and has made 100+ clients very happy. Though in fairness, those were clients who wanted to be happy. It is always our goal to have continuity and ensure that the DJ who is your first preference is the one who shows up at your wedding. But once or twice a year external forces intervene and we have to recommend a switch to another staff DJ. One month is more than enough time for us to prepare as we always to and customize your music and event flow. As you said, it turned out just fine. It should also be noted that we offered you a refund of deposit should you have chosen to terminate your booking. We never held you hostage; we simply offered you our best solution. Now that your wedding is over, I wonder what new avenue you'll find for making people miserable? Perhaps you can be mean to servers or double-park behind a row of cars at Starbucks while you complain to your barista about how sweet your cinnamon dulche latte is? I bet you'll figure it out.