Ceremonies By Kristi and Associates

ciating duties are complete and well before I drive home). I do not use drugs. I have the results of a recent toxicology screening I had to get for a particular license. It was 100% clean and I'd be happy to mail you a copy. Did your guests see me drinking alcoholic beverages or using drugs? Absolutely NOT. You have accused me, on a public forum, of committing a crime without any sort of evidence. The only thing I can think of is that I have a condition with my eyes where one is farsighted and one nearsighted. Because of this condition, I can stumble if I misread the ground I am trying to step on. It was fairly dark outside and I may have stumbled a few times while walking in the dark on uneven ground. As for saying a few of the names wrong....that was a mistake on my part that should not have happened (although messing up names is probably the number 1 error that officiants frequently make.....doesn't make it ok and I try really hard to make sure it doesn't happen.). Again, we were outside, it was pretty dark, and the lack of lighting made the script difficult to read. I now bring some reading lights when I do a night time ceremony, even if the venue is well lit. I'm also using a larger, bolder font. And when I arrive to the venue, I find one of the parties getting married and we review that all the names are correct, and that I'm pronouncing them correctly.....even writing out the phonetic spellings. Thank you for pointing this out, so that I can make corrections to see that it doesn't happen with future clients. Your children are beautiful and sweet. I hoped to help them understand how important they are within your family unit (we had discussed this beforehand). Most officiants will either refer to the kids as "they,," not bothering to acknowledge them personally by saying their names....many officiants won't even acknowledge the children because they are afraid they may do it wrong. For me, these blunders are extremely rare and I'm aware I could make a mistake (or 3), especially when there are more than one or two kids, as was your situation. I am human and far from perfect. In the future, in addition to taking the measures I mentioned above, I will make a point to discuss this issue with the clients so that they can think about it....or we could devise other ways of acknowledging each child; like having the couple or maybe a grandparent do the acknowledgement. About the marriage certificate...again, putting in a wrong date is a common blunder officiants make. I am usually meticulous....I have married probably 1000 couples and this was the FIRST and only time I have ever made an error on a marriage license. And one time is too many. I am very sorry that you were the one it happened to. When I completed the license, I asked your husband to look over it real quick to make sure everything looked good. He didn't catch the error on the date.....although it is never a client's responsibility to ensure that their officiant doesn't make blunders....it's just another step I take to try to avoid problems like this. Since this happened, I am being ever more diligent, ONLY filling out the certificate in a place with adequate lighting, away from the party to avoid distractions and asking both to quickly review it; making certain they know that ultimately, it is MY responsibility to make sure my job is done correctly.. I now do 6 checks instead of 3. I went to the courthouse and paid to have them issue another licensure packet. My intention was to drive to the both of you and your 2 witnesses to get the signatures. The day after I got the packet, we found out that my husband has cancer....he had to have 3 emergency surgeries within 2 weeks. Then they diagnosed him with a heart valve issue which he will need open heart surgery to fix. Thank goodness he is doing fine now. But we had a few months where my colleagues had to take my assignments for me because the whole experience was physically and emotionally draining. And the doctor ordered bedrest, so I had to watch him 24/7 and couldn't leave him because he kept trying to get out of bed. The Clerk's office did not tell me that the new packet would "expire" in 30 days (that is the rule for regular marriage licenses, but they usually give leeway in these instances). As a side note, I had a client a few years ago whose marriage license was in the back of a mail truck for delivery to the Clerk. The truck went off a bridge and her license went to the bottom of the river. I was dealing with East Baton Rouge. I was fortunate that the supervisor at the Clerk's office was diligent. He called the LA department of vital records and learned that we could replace the license if I filled out an affidavit and had it notarized. This took less than an hour and was so easy......the best part was that I didn't need to burden the couple. They had their marriage certificate within 3 days of the Clerk receiving the affidavit. I tried to tell everyone at the Clerk's office about this, because it would've been the fastest, easiest way to resolve the issue. No one in the office knew about the affidavits....I showed them a copy of the one I just mentioned and gave them contact information for the East Baton Rouge Clerk Manager who had been diligent....he could've given St Tammany's Clerk contact info for the supervisor at state vital records to assure them that doing the affidavit is legal and efficient. But the STP Clerks refused to even check. So I do lay at least a little bit of fault for this on their laps. During all of this stuff with my husband, my brain was about to explode and I did not think about much that didn't involve my husband's health issues, what I needed to do, and keeping track of the MANY doctor's appointments. When things began to settle down, I went "Oh! I've got to get this done." Only then did I discover the 30 day rule and I was on day 32 or 33. Anyway....again, I made an error by not completing the process. My husband's medical issues are not your problem and I am not trying to use them as an excuse for failing you. I should have been capable of completing this. For that, I sincerely apologize and I will not allow the same to happen to any future couple. I have to say that I am disappointed you did not bring these issues to my attention in a timely manner so that we could have come to an agreement on what I could have done to fix any issues before they became problems. We even had a few conversations after the wedding and you never mentioned any of this. Instead, this public review is how I discovered that you were very unhappy with me. I'm not one to broadcast health issues and personal problems (weddings are happy occasions and I have a sacred rule: I leave any personal issues at home and walk into the wedding completely focused on my couples...with a smile on my face). I would have much preferred a constructive conversation in a private setting. If, after meeting, we couldn't come to a mutual agreement, then leaving a poor review would have been 100% understandable (except for intimating that I was performing official duties while intoxicated). You and I had several communications before your wedding, so you had a good idea of my personality. If things were as bad as you say, you must have had concerns well before your wedding. Again, if you had just told me, I would have had you interview our available officiants and change to one that you "clicked" with. We tell all of our clients and potential clients that great chemistry between them and their officiant is paramount.....and we discuss that clients should always offer straightforward, honest communication with their officiant, however brutal and without fear. We understand that not all human beings "click." if a client feels that way toward anyone assigned to them, they should tell us immediately so that the client has the opportunity to change officiants with time. Since this incident, I have made a contract addendum which goes over this information. And I'm making a point to regularly check in with our clients to see if things are going well with their officiant or if they would like to make changes. I have my 2nd in command check in with my clients. I have many positive reviews because, for the majority of my clients, we "click" and communicate well. When I go to perform their wedding ceremony, or decorate or coordinate, I walk in with the confidence that my clients and I have built a relationship based on mutual respect, excellent communication, and I know exactly what their expectations for me are. I do not do this for money.....in fact, I do many free and low cost services for people who, paying $190 might mean they can't buy food for 3 weeks. When the Supreme Court decision came down that threatened same sex marriage, I set up my back porch like an altar and invited engaged LGBTQIA+ couples to come to my home and get married on my porch, they could pay whatever they could afford. I actually spend more on these services than I bring in. Why? Because I get so much pleasure knowing that making two people happy has nothing but positive outcomes that can reach far and remain well after we are all gone. It truly breaks my heart to know that I failed you....especially because none of it would have happened if I had fostered better communication with you. From now on, I will make sure that, every few weeks, I check with my clients to make sure they are comfortable and that we are on the right path....or not. What's done is done, so I will use this as a learning experience; either creating new procedures or tweaking our existing procedures to lessen the possibility that we could repeat these mistakes. I'm sorry this is so long. You brought up many issues and I feel I owe it to you to provide thorough responses and to let you know the steps we are taking to correct the issues you brought up. If you have any ideas of specific things I could have done differently, please feel free to share them with me via email, text, phone......at your convenience. Take care and I wish you a very long marriage filled with happiness and love. Sincerely, Kristi

enjoying married life! ~Kristi

officiants who work together.....we always have back-up, so you need not worry about your assigned person getting sick or having a family emergency and the client being left to scramble to find another officiant 2 or 3 days before the wedding! I have been working on a pamphlet to give to new clients that explains how we choose, schedule, etc. I have started sharing with clients who request me about my biggest draw back: I'm the only officiant who can do ceremonies in other languages and for now, I'm the most qualified to handle ceremonies where there may be difficult circumstances. A few weeks ago, we started having new clients meet and communicate with some of the other officiants, so it wouldn't be a shock if there were a change I must say, however, that we are fortunate to have such a FANTASTIC group who are passionate about this work and genuinely love it! I am so glad that your wedding was memorable and that we were part of that. Congratulations. Don't hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or thoughts. Best, Kristi