My wife and I recently relocated to Tampa to be near her family. We got engaged over New Years while still living in TN: where we met in graduate school. We decided to get married in Florida while we were still up there, but ended up moving bef...ore the wedding as my wife got offered a job.
One of the odd things moving to a new town was that we didn't have a minister or priest we were close to, and neither of us enjoyed the Idea of getting married by a stranger. Alas, we looked on line for options, and found Michael DeArruda and his myriad of wonderful comments and recommendations.
We set up an appointment to meet with Rev. DeArruda at his home. It was a free consultation, and he made himself extremely available for us and our schedules. I found him very professional, inviting, and warm. He asked us relevant questions about our backgrounds and history, and told us how he would perform services, both with our wishes and building in his own style. I appreciated his candor, and his low pressure style. We ended up contracting with him that very day.
My wife and I also elected to do the "premarital counseling" sessions. While these costs extra, I swear they made all the difference. And for any of you who don't like the sound of counseling, it's really not that way at all. He uses the prepare enrich program, which asks the couple questions about their lifestyle and future needs and wants, and creates a context for them to talk about issues they may have not thought to talk about yet. What kind of family did you grow up in? Did you like it's structure? Do you want to continue that structure? How do you deal with arguments. What makes you feel important?
It's a great context to explore each other, and gives you a chance to work out the kinks. He also gives you exercises to use for future times when you may not always agree or want the sames things. And it's important to note that it's ok to not agree or want the same things. It's all ok. The preparation course (which is really what it is), is invaluable.Rev. DeArruda pointed out to me that we have to study for and prepare for everything else we do, but that we can get married with no preparation whatsoever(which is kinda crazy). It's very easy going, and you don't feel stressed or judged. I found Rev. DeArruda to be a great facilitator and to have wonderful insights and commentary.
Most importantly, I think it gave Rev. DeArruda a chance to really get to know us and how we interact; who we are and what our quirks are. In the end, it gave us the feeling we were getting married by an old friend instead of a stranger. And he wasn't a stranger by that point.
-- the rehearsal was amazing. My groomsmen all commented at how funny Rev. DeArruda was. The one liners had my family in stitches.
The days leading up were equally stress free. DeArruda has a script that builds in music and vendors and DJ's etc. He interfaces with all of them to make sure the ceremony goes off without a hitch.
The ceremony was beyond perfect. His enthusiasm and intonation were expressive and articulate. His passion came through, and again, it felt like an old friend was bringing us together.
What got me, more than anything, was as the clouds came in, he offered to marry us in the rain. He was willing to go out when our cello player would not. Fortunately, he married us under the big moss covered oak, dry.