Ceremony for the Modern World
Asheville, Charlotte, Wilmington
Travel area: Within 300 miles See details
Deals
Custom discountPermanent
LGBTQIA+ discount
Claim Deal
Exclusive discountPermanent
5% discount for The Knot couples
Claim Deal
Jenesis Nicolaisen
MINISTER AND GUIDE
Typically responds within 24h
AWARD WINNER
Thanks to recommendations from couples on The Knot
Ceremonies that are Entirely You
Enjoy a fully bespoke experience with How to Human Better, a wedding officiant service in Asheville, NC, led by ministers and priestesses Jenesis and Graciela. These dedicated professionals offer fully personalized ceremony creation, as well as pre-marital support and guidance.Â
Meet Your Officiants
Jenesis is originally from the London area, and became ordained as a minister in 2017 to officiate at their best friend's wedding. After that, they decided to launch How to Human Better, to provide non-traditional, yet highly intentional, wedding officiant services to the Asheville community. Graciela is a singer-songwriter and dedicated minister who also loves to help guide nearlyweds to "I do."
Packages that Meet Your Needs
How to Human Better offers inclusive services, catering to couples of all faith backgrounds, genders, and sexual orientations. Whether you're envisioning a religious, secular, or spiritual ceremony, Jenesis and Graciela take the time to get to know you and your love story well before the day arrives. Just reach out to the team for a consultation about your celebration of love.
LGBTQ+-owned and Woman-owned Business
9+ years in business
Speaks English, French, Spanish
Details
Ceremony Types
Civil Union
Commitment Ceremony
Elopement
Interfaith Ceremony
Non-Religious Ceremony
Religious Ceremony
Second Wedding
Vow Renewal Ceremony
Religious Affiliations
Buddhist
Christian
Interfaith
Jewish
Pagan
Secular
Spiritual
Unitarian
Wiccan
Wedding Activities
After The Wedding
Newlywed Life
Getting Engaged
Premarital Counseling
Wedding
Ceremony
Awards and Affiliations
Any questions?
Meet the team
Jenesis Nicolaisen
Minister and Guide
AMM Minister ID: 472816 Jenesis (they/them or she/her) is a Queer human who grew up in the greater suburbs of London, England, and who has since settled in the Appalachian mountains of Western North Carolina in the USA. Their priorities include sharing time with their friends and partners, adventuring in the forest, dancing as often as possible, and collecting beautiful things (most notably, crystals and rocks of all kinds). They live in a small intentional community in Asheville, NC where they are a student of foraging, permaculture, and sustainable living. Jenesis became ordained as a minister in 2017 in order to facilitate their best friend’s wedding, by request. It went so well that they decided to launch the How To Human Better brand to meet more clients interested in non-traditional but highly intentional ceremony design for their weddings. The business soon became a much-needed basis of steady income to support Jenesis as they co-founded SeekHealing, a grassroots non-profit that facilitates meaningful human connection and healthy social experiences in order to address the loneliness epidemic and reduce deaths of despair. Since then, Jenesis has facilitated over 75 weddings and supported dozens of couples opening a new paradigm for consciously constructing their relationships with each other. They embody a deep knowledge and mastery of space-holding techniques, facilitating relational processes, and crafting rituals that support healing, personal development and community cohesion. The Listening Training and Social Health Facilitation Training courses that they designed in collaboration with their partners Dr. Gabor Mate, Dr. Rachel Wurzman, and Sara Ness, have now trained thousands of people in a new paradigm of listening and conscious relationship; and have certified over 100 “Social Health Professionals” who are revolutionizing the mental health industry. Jenesis graduated with a bachelor's degree in Linguistics from the University of North Carolina -
Reviews
5.0
out of 5.029 reviews
Your trust is our goal. Our community relies on honest reviews to help
you make those big decisions with ease.
Justin J
Highlighted review.
5.0
10/01/2025
To say that this was the best experience I could’ve ever hoped for it would be an understatement. Jenesis was absolutely amazing from day one. She took the time to get to know me a...
nd my now wife to understand our story and to come up with a beautiful ceremony that was unlike any other one I have ever seen. Her attention to detail and methods she uses to make everything go smooth, keep both of us calm and in the moment was absolutely incredible! Thank you so much for making our special day even more special. We really could not have done it without you!
Maggie K
5.0
10/01/2025
We cannot recommend Jenesis enough. The script and ceremony were done perfectly and the entire energy of the wedding was calm and peaceful with a focus on being intentional. Our 16...
month old even let Jenesis walk her down the aisle towards my husband and that's rare 🤣
Any questions?
Kristen K
5.0
2/12/2025
My wife and I were incredibly lucky to find Jenesis of How to Human Better to officiate our wedding. They, on an incredibly short timeline, collaborated with us to create a beautif...
ul ceremony. With only a few meetings they were able to curate a very detailed, but still flexible plan to make our wedding day memorable and incorporate all the elements that we wanted to make it feel unique to us. We were unprepared and unsure of how we were going to make our ceremony something simple, but still magical. Thankfully, after a long chat with Jenesis telling them about ourselves, our relationship, and our vague idea for what we wanted the ceremony to look like, they knew exactly what to do and even brought new ideas that really aligned with what we had envisioned. Our wedding would not have been anywhere as close to the perfect day it was without their guiding hand. We are so incredibly grateful.
Jenny S
5.0
3/06/2023
Where do I begin to describe the amazing person that Jennifer is? In our wedding research, we knew we wanted an officiant who was open-minded, did non-religious ceremonies and made...
us feel even closer to one another than we already were. When I found Jennifer and "How to Human Better" I knew immediately she was the one. The name says it all...it encompasses everything my husband and I I try to be each and every day- a little better for ourselves and others. From start to finish, Jennifer was there with us, guiding us, nurturing our love. Our pre-wedding day meetings were some of our favorite days. She would guide us in deep breathing and meditation, which was a life saver come wedding day. It's true what they say...the wedding day goes by in the blink of an eye, but with Jennifer guiding the ceremony that day, I felt so present in the moment. I can still remember details that would probably otherwise be forgotten. Our guests commented on how intentional the ceremony was, and asked for Jennifer's contact information :-)
She is one of the kindest people we know and hope to never lose touch!
Stephanie S
5.0
12/30/2020
Jennifer is incredible. We chose to elope because we wanted an intimate celebration that allowed us the space to fully focus on our unique relationship and the love we share. Jen...
nifer brought this vision to life in the most wonderful way. We initially met less than 1 month before the wedding, yet by the end, she felt like a close friend. She has a knack for “seeing” people. She quickly gained an understanding of our personalities, values, and who we are as a couple and ultimately weaved it all into a ceremony that was heartfelt, personal, and full of thoughtful details. I also can’t say enough good things about the pre-ceremony grounding session. It helped ease my worries/anxieties, sparked positive vibes, and enabled us to fully immerse ourselves in all the experiences of the day. I am so grateful that fate led us to Jennifer. There are no words for how much I appreciate the work and care she put into creating the perfect day for us and the emotional support she provided from beginning to end.
Cynthia L
5.0
10/18/2020
From the start I knew my ceremony would be the most important part of the wedding . And Jennifer helped make that vision a reality, even through the challenges of COVID, which forc...
ed us to reschedule our wedding, and redesign it. We met with her several times and she helped us drop into the feelings we had for one another, our intentions, our fears, and the impacts of COVID on the wedding process. She's very, very gifted at this kind of thing, which really raises the whole consciousness of the event. She did a phenomenal job at writing a custom ceremony that reflected us and our distinct values, which I'm sure was not easy as we wanted and needed something quite unique in a very unique time. If you want to design your ceremony and have it reflect you as a couple, then I can't recommend Jennifer highly enough.
Kimberly H
5.0
10/24/2019
Words cannot describe what Jennifer brought to our wedding. There were so many little moments throughout the weekend that really made this weekend special for all in attendance.
...
First, the grounding ceremony. WOW... we both walked in there anxious and consumed with a thousand things we couldn’t control fully. After that ceremony, we were both so present and less anxious for the rest of the weekend. It was was a great time to clear, focus and bring ourselves to that moment we had anticipated for so long. And for that we can’t thank her enough.
The entire ceremony was better than I could have ever expected. We had a non-religious spiritual ceremony with most of our family being Christian. She really captured the vision of our wedding as a spiritual union and a celebration with friends and family after dating for 10 years. We decided to incorporate a guided meditation and an Om into our ceremony. I’m still amazed at how seamlessly she was able to get everyone involved in this very unique element of our wedding.
After the ceremony, so many of our friends and family were raving about her presence in the ceremony. That she must have known us for so long because of how much she incorporated our deepest intention and memories into the ceremony.
This review is just a glimpse into the EXPERIENCE that she helped cultivate on our wedding and we can’t thank her enough.
HIGHLY RECOMMEND!
Candance C
5.0
4/24/2019
From the moment I saw the name of this vendor I knew I wanted them to be a part of my ceremony. Then we met Jennifer, the person behind this great company name, and it just confirm...
ed what I already felt in my heart. She would be the one who would guide us through our journey to being legally bound.
Jennifer was determined to get to know us; she learned our story. Making sure to delve deeply into who we were and how we became who we were. She took all of this gathered information and created what is being called by our guests the most genuinely organic wedding experience that they've ever been a part of. Our guests have sent us thank you notes saying things such as "your ceremony made us want to be better", "best wedding I've ever attended" and "we left thinking how we could love one another more".
We told Jennifer that we wanted to fill the space with love and make our guests feel love at every turn. She delivered! Our ceremony was filled with the most thoughtful and loved-filled rituals and sentiments that we will cherish forever.
If you are looking for someone who will take their time to create for you an experience that embodies what love is meant to feel like, Jennifer is your person!
Daniela R
5.0
12/03/2018
We absolutely loved having Jennifer begin our newest chapter of our lives. She is such a pleasure to work with!
We are not very religious people, but our families are. She did a b...
eautiful job blending of all cultures and beliefs. I highly recommend her for any occasion that you may need her for. Thank you again Jennifer, for making us feel so special. <3
Mollie F
5.0
11/05/2018
When it came to planning my wedding, the most important thing to me was having a ceremony that was personal to us as a couple, and Jennifer did just that. From the beginning, Jenn...
ifer provided a sense of calm and assurance that made me feel grounded when things were chaotic in planning. She took the time to really get to know my Husband and I, and made a point to find out exactly what was important to us to have in our ceremony. This included tying in Judaic and Christian elements as well as having a memorial moment for my mom, all of which was done beautifully. We received so many comments after about how touching it was, and how it was unlike any other ceremony they had ever been to. Thank you Jennifer for making this moment so wonderful for us!
Lindsay M
5.0
5/15/2018
Jennifer is absolutely amazing! She invited us into her home for our grounding sessions and created an environment for my husband and I to really relax and create a radically authe...
ntic experience. Jennifer taught us how to communicate as a couple, provided us with tools that were unique to us and most of all created the most memorable ceremony. Many of our family members including our photographer said "WOW, what a beautiful ceremony, so unique, and heartfelt, I have never seen anything like it before"!
I cant say enough about Jennifer,she truly goes above and beyond. I took her up on her offer to reach out if I needed to redirect my thoughts. I was having a Bridezilla moment and texted her, then poof... she had the perfect response that calmed me in seconds (my husband loved that) and like magic my stress level returned back to normal. I could go on and on about our experience with Jennifer, hands down she is AMAZING and you will fall in love with her just like we did.
Rachael H
5.0
5/13/2018
Jennifer helped us achieve the mindful, present, happy and emotional wedding ceremony we dreaming of. She really takes the time to get to know you as a couple and to see your visi...
on for your wedding ceremony. She is extremely sensitive and considerate to individual religions, lifestyles, visions or opinions. Beyond that she offers a wonderful experience of bonding as a couple before you commit your life to each other which is so important before your wedding day. This can be as extensive as you prefer as there are several sessions you can choose from if desired. As far as the ceremony, it really focuses on two unique people while still honoring traditions as the couple wishes. She is very flexible with her planning, but still takes the wheel to take the stress off of the couple. Our guests absolutely loved our ceremony and it really set the tone for so much love and gratitude throughout the rest of the wedding day.
Gabrielle G
5.0
4/16/2018
“That was the most beautiful wedding ceremony I’ve ever witnessed!” – This is what we heard from multiple guests at our intimate, DC wedding that Jennifer officiated. After working...
closely with her for nearly a year on crafting a ceremony that was mindful, emotional, and uniquely us, she delivered a beautiful script that felt fully representative of the relationship we have built. She was very communicative and thoughtful and even coordinated with us while we were in a long distance relationship across two continents. The ceremony itself was wonderfully and meticulously delivered, keeping everyone, including us, present and mindful and breathing (a true task when emotions are high). As a same-sex couple, we truly appreciated her sensitivity and understanding, as well as her willingness to break traditions and bring in aspects of other cultures, religions, and ideals into our ceremony. The attention, intention, and care that was put in helped create a moment that we and our guests will never forget. Jennifer went above and beyond and is now someone we consider a dear friend.
Jessica C
5.0
12/10/2017
There are no words for how grateful we are to have found and worked with Jennifer! She is truly amazing and very detail oriented - getting to know us both so that not only could t...
he pre-ceremony partnership be very tailored, but also making our ceremony really come alive and be unique and special for me and my (now) husband. Honestly, we loved the pre-ceremony partnership WAY more than we thought we would. It was a great way to begin our journey together and be more intentional in our relationship and marriage. And as for the wedding, it was perfect and custom to us. We've gotten so many compliments from our guests that our ceremony was the *most* personal, special and fun wedding they'd ever been to. In short, I can't recommend Jennifer and How to Human Better enough.
Miranda A
5.0
12/06/2017
Jennifer was absolutely amazing during our planning, pre-ceremony, and ceremony. She had a desire to learn more about us as individuals and as a couple, and the exercises that she ...
walked us through really helped us all connect prior to the wedding. We LOVED our grounding ceremony that we did with her a few days before and it helped us be mindful before the weekend and helped alleviate any worries. The ceremony itself was beautifully customized and thoughtful. Jennifer used the exercises that we previously to sculpt a script that was a perfect blending of our two personalities, intentions, and desires for what we want to be true in our marriage. We received so many compliments specifically on the ceremony! I would highly recommend working with Jennifer from How to Human Better!
Donnie C
5.0
12/06/2017
In the ceremony Jennifer captured the Authenticity of who we are. Highlighting us as a couple and really making it fun for everyone attending! We are very thankful for the guidance...
, grounding, and intention setting before hand. We are start off our journey with a tremendous foundation of understanding and trust. We grew as people through this experience with Jennifer and are thankful to be forever tied to her in this way!
Pamela L
5.0
12/06/2017
Words will never be adequate to express our love and gratitude to Jennifer for creating and officiating our wedding ceremony. She worked with us to get to know us and craft a beaut...
iful ceremony that exceeded our dreams and expectations. Jennifer was able to communicate our intentions towards each other as well as the love we share with each other better than we could have! Our guests are still raving about Jennifer and the ceremony and how much they loved how the traditional was weaved into personal and not so traditional vows. Most of our guests believed that Jennifer was an old friend of ours - that's how comfortable and knowing she has become to us. She will be a lifelong friend of ours, also! Don't hesitate to have her officiate your wedding, she is a true gem!
Pamela L
5.0
12/06/2017
Words will never be adequate to express our love and gratitude to Jennifer for creating and officiating our wedding ceremony. She worked with us to get to know us and craft a beaut...
iful ceremony that exceeded our dreams and expectations. Jennifer was able to communicate our intentions towards each other as well as the love we share with each other better than we could have! Our guests are still raving about Jennifer and the ceremony and how much they loved how the traditional was weaved into personal and not so traditional vows. Most of our guests believed that Jennifer was an old friend of ours - that's how comfortable and knowing she has become to us. She will be a lifelong friend of ours, also! Don't hesitate to have her officiate your wedding, she is a true gem!
Miranda A
5.0
12/06/2017
Jennifer was absolutely amazing during our planning, pre-ceremony, and ceremony. She had a desire to learn more about us as individuals and as a couple, and the exercises that she ...
walked us through really helped us all connect prior to the wedding. We LOVED our grounding ceremony that we did with her a few days before and it helped us be mindful before the weekend and helped alleviate any worries. The ceremony itself was beautifully customized and thoughtful. Jennifer used the exercises that we previously to sculpt a script that was a perfect blending of our two personalities, intentions, and desires for what we want to be true in our marriage. We received so many compliments specifically on the ceremony! I would highly recommend working with Jennifer from How to Human Better!
Donnie C
5.0
12/06/2017
In the ceremony Jennifer captured the Authenticity of who we are. Highlighting us as a couple and really making it fun for everyone attending! We are very thankful for the guidance...
, grounding, and intention setting before hand. We are start off our journey with a tremendous foundation of understanding and trust. We grew as people through this experience with Jennifer and are thankful to be forever tied to her in this way!
Pamela L
5.0
12/06/2017
Words will never be adequate to express our love and gratitude to Jennifer for creating and officiating our wedding ceremony. She worked with us to get to know us and craft a beaut...
iful ceremony that exceeded our dreams and expectations. Jennifer was able to communicate our intentions towards each other as well as the love we share with each other better than we could have! Our guests are still raving about Jennifer and the ceremony and how much they loved how the traditional was weaved into personal and not so traditional vows. Most of our guests believed that Jennifer was an old friend of ours - that's how comfortable and knowing she has become to us. She will be a lifelong friend of ours, also! Don't hesitate to have her officiate your wedding, she is a true gem!
Susana G
5.0
12/04/2017
"The best wedding ceremony I ever witnessed." Which was one of the few of the many compliments I received about Jennifer's service. She is exactly what we were looking for. My h...
usband and I aren't that religious however my parents were so she gave us a good blend of the two. The Christian base my parents wanted and the unique, spiritual and meaningful one we were looking for. I mean she even personalized it by talking about my husband and I love for asian food and dark humor! She truly is gifted in bringing people together and gave such a meaningful service that her wise words will be forever remembered. If anyone is looking for someone to truly personalize their ceremony and make it their own Jennifer is the person for you! Jennifer was the best person for us and we will be forever thankful for her wise and carefully crafted words for us. Thank you again!
Nidhi T
5.0
11/06/2017
Jennifer was the perfect officiant for our non-religious wedding and I'd recommend her to anyone looking for a genuine, unique ceremony! First off, she is one of the kindest people...
my husband and I have met, and she was such a grounding force throughout our wedding process. She has a laid back energy, but she is super organized and helps to ensure that you're present and intentional in your vow creating process. The promises box that she creates is individualized and based off of the promises that you and your partner make to one another in the days before the wedding. It was an amazing keep sake, and she put so much effort into writing each promise onto a plaque. She also incorporated a hand fasting ritual for us, and everyone who attended our wedding spoke specifically to the emotion conveyed through Jennifer's expertly written words. I had a moment of major disappointment on my wedding day, and Jennifer was right there offering a listening ear and helping to ground me with the calming energy of her singing bowl. She has the highest of recommendations from us, and I urge you to consider having her as your officiant too!
Beth R
5.0
10/17/2017
Thank you so much for such a perfect ceremony. Everyone has had such amazing things to say about how much they loved how fun and unique it was. We couldn't have been happier. We ab...
solutely LOVED working with you and the customized ceremony you developed for us. Thank You!
Michelle W
5.0
9/18/2017
I can't say enough good things about our experiences with Jennifer, so much so that I do not know where to start.
Jennifer was the first and last officiant we met with, and there...
was a reason for that. She was so kind and sweet from the moment we met her and she instantly understood our relationship and quickly got a sense of who we were as a couple. She took our vision for our ceremony and made it even better than I could have imagined. She added in religious moments, but kept it light hearted and focused on our relationship. She helped create a beautiful memorial section for lost loved ones that could not be present with us, which meant so much to us.
There were little details and remarks during the ceremony that really showed that she took the time to know us, and what we wanted in a ceremony. Everything Jennifer did was heartfelt and her sincere personality was loved by everyone.
The promises section that Jennifer does was so special and is a memory I know I will cherish forever. It was so fun and eye opening to work on your promises to each other. It made us discuss and appreciate our relationship more than ever before in the months/weeks leading up to our ceremony. You cannot go wrong with hiring Jennifer, I would recommend her over and over again.
Thank you Jennifer for the beautiful memories we'll cherish forever.
Julie C
5.0
6/22/2017
Jennifer was truly the best choice we could have made. We invited her into our home and she performed a very intimate ceremony for my husband and our closest friends and family. Ou...
r guests were pleased with her technique and said we had made the perfect choice. I would highly recommend Jennifer as I could not have chosen someone better and helped make us feel more connected to each other. Jennifer was extremely flexible and kind and had a very loving disposition. I hope to see her again and recommend anyone to her and her services. She is a sweet soul!
Dorothy H
5.0
6/22/2017
She got to know myself and my fiancé as whom we are. She exactly knew how to incorporate us into our ceremony. From the remembrance of my stepfather to our unity candle and includi...
ng everyone in our ceremony. She made everyone feel welcome and apart of the ceremony. Everyone enjoyed it.
Chastity M
5.0
4/11/2017
Jennifer is a wonderful, amazing, beautiful and unique Officiant. We requested a non-religious, non-denominational ceremony. It was very short notice but she took the time to meet ...
with us, and keep constant communication. She asked us very thought provoking questions that really spoke to us as individuals and then as a couple. The ceremony she performed was extremely intimate and very personal. She spoke about everything we had talked to her about in the weeks prior to the ceremony. Even though all her words were scripted she spoke them with such ease and conviction; making everyone in the ceremony feel her words too. There was not a dry eye in that room!! We wanted a small, intimate ceremony and that’s exactly what she gave us. She was more than our officiant, she felt like a friend and family member. Multiple people asked if she really was. That's how great and amazing she is!
Kyla T
5.0
4/11/2017
When you pick someone to officiate your wedding, their words will impact the entire mood of the room. Jennifer uses her words impeccably and puts true meaning behind each one. She ...
is an amazing woman. Jennifer crafted a beautiful, heartfelt ceremony filled with laughs, tears, hope, and of course all the love I could ever imagine. You will be so happy with her as your officiant. I couldn't praise her more. She is the best!
Service area & Contact info
Travel area: Within 300 miles
Additional charges may apply
Curious to learn more?
Start the convo
*=Required
Use this secure form to reach out and share your wedding vision.
How to Human Better
Jenesis Nicolaisen
|
Minister and Guide
Typically responds within 24h
Wedding vendors in Asheville
How to Human Better's photos
Why use The Knot to message vendors?
Messaging our verified vendors on The Knot is free, safe and secure. Conveniently track vendor messages and planning details all in one place. Our mobile apps make it easy to stay in touch with vendors while you're on‑the‑go. For personalized pricing and package details, sending the vendor a message is the fastest way to get info.