Book Your Wedding with Bourne Mansion


About Us

Gaze at the wonder and elegance of the Bourne Mansion as you wind your way up its long drive. Located in Oakdale, New York. This 205-acre property is a couple's dream come true wedding venue and sits just 90 minutes from New York City. It first became a desired ceremony and reception location when Vanderbilt's daughter got married here back in 1895.

This private estate and historical landmark provides the bride and groom with countless first-look photograph spots throughout. Couples have the choice of the following ceremony and event spaces.

The Lawn. The lawn offers stunning views of the Great South Bay and the surrounding landscape. This meticulously manicured area can host huge receptions of up to 1,000 guests.

Courtyard Patio. Magnificent columns define the courtyard patio space, which is an excellent venue for hosting a cocktail hour. Guests can mingle while the bride, groom and wedding party spend some time having pictures taken.

The Grand Ballroom. Used for both indoor ceremonies and receptions, the Grand Ballroom wows with its 40-foot vaulted ceilings and glass domes. The room accommodates up to 300 guests and has plenty of room for dancing. A gorgeous balcony and romantic lighting really set the mood for your special day.


What You Should Know

The Bourne Mansion provides a level of service and support far beyond many other wedding venues. Each couple is given a wedding coordinator to work with vendors and keep them on track with important due dates, as well as a maître d' and attendant. Although to-be-weds are required to use the in-house caterer and bartending services, they are free to browse the extensive preferred vendors list for everything from florists to photographers to disc jockeys. All wedding packages include white or ivory linens, decorative votive candles that can be used as centerpieces and place cards for each guest.

Your guests are sure to be impressed when they arrive and find white-gloved butler-passed hors d'oeuvres, champagne and a delicious plate of strawberries. The mansion's culinary team offers tasty hors d'eouvres, such as nocellini wrapped in salami, mini Chesapeake crab cakes and sesame chicken sate with peanut dipping sauce. Guests can then dine on an appetizer and up to four stations, such as a pasta, steakhouse or Asian station. A sushi table and jumbo shrimp bar are available for an added fee. Finally, the bride and groom will receive a custom-designed 4-tier wedding cake with a choice of filling surrounded by plates of European cookies and pastries.


Extra Perks

The bride and her bridesmaids will find the bridal changing room a welcoming extra perk. There is plenty of space to have hair and make-up done so that the ladies can get ready right on site. A few more benefits associated with the Bourne Mansion are listed below.

  • Valet parking
  • Coat check
  • AV equipment rentals
  • Handicap accessible
  • Wireless Internet service

From the Vendor

Luxury - Award Winning - Perfect

60 minutes from New York City, the Bourne Mansion is the perfect location for the wedding of your dreams. With panoramic views, manicured gardens & extraordinary cuisine & service, your special day will be remembered for a lifetime.

Amenities + Details

  • Handicap Accessible

  • Indoor

  • Reception Area

For more details about amenities, please message the Venue.

Price Range

$$$ – Moderate

Venue Capacity



Ballroom, Waterfront, Estate, Historic Venue

Wedding Categories

Food + Catering, Planning, Rentals + Equipment, Service Staff


Contact Info

500 Montauk Highway, Oakdale, NY (631) 581-0022

Reviewed on 10/17/2017 Maria C

If you ever imagined how a wedding should be Steve & Miriam will do it 30x better. I had my wedding at the Bourne Mansion on 10/7/17 and it was one of the most beautiful evenings I could of ever asked for. During the planning process the best thing about working with Miriam is... Read More that she genuinely loves to help her brides get the most out of their day. There was nothing that she couldn't help me with! And Steve, our Maitre'd, was nothing short of incredible the day of our wedding. Steve was always 3 steps ahead of everyone else. He would hand me a tissue and I haven't even sneezed yet (lol!). Which made it so easy to not have to think of anything that was going on except to just enjoy the party! I personally the venue simply speaks for itself. It was one of the most incredible places with the most beautiful grounds that I have ever seen. The food was impeccable!!! And the rest of the lessings staff were true delights to have at my wedding! Thank you all for everything!!!!

Reviewed on 9/29/2017 Devon W

My husband and I were married at the Bourne Mansion on 8/25. It was truly and amazing experience! We can not say enough good things about our wedding reception. Steve was our Maitre d' and Feggy was my bridal attendant. They were both awesome! The service we received as bride... Read More and groom was top notch and our guests partied the night away! The food was great and the atmosphere was magical. We can not say enough good things about the Lessing's team.

Reviewed on 9/08/2017 Ida C

We got married at the Bourne Mansion on July 29, 2017 and I must say that the whole experience was straight out of a fairytale! From the time we met the staff, especially Steve and Miriam, we hit it off! Miriam knew just what we needed to please our guests and had great... Read More suggestions for how to make it all look and feel fabulous. By the time our wedding day came, the Bourne Mansion staff felt like our family! The wedding day went off without a hitch, Steve wouldn't have it any other way! The staff was attentive and the food was raved about by all of my guests. The Bourne Mansion is a beautiful and charismatic venue and the people who run it are too!

Reviewed on 7/29/2017 Rachel B

We got married at the Bourne Mansion back in June, and our special day was more than we could have asked for! My husband and I didn't want to get married in your typical catering hall, so the Bourne Mansion was a great choice since it is an incredibly beautiful and unique... Read More mansion, but with all the amenities of a catering hall. Miriam was a pleasure to work with from the start, and Steve was great to deal with leading up to the day of our wedding. They are incredibly professional and made sure as much as possible was done beforehand to make our day go off without a hitch. Jake was our maitre-d' and he was fantastic. He was on top of everything the day of, made sure everything went smoothly, and most importantly, made sure myself and my husband had stuff to eat and drink. The bridal attendant was great, as well as the entire rest of the staff. All of our guests raved about what an amazing time they had, and how great the quality of service they received from the staff was. We couldn't have imagined a more perfect day.

Reviewed on 7/22/2017 Jacqueline P

We had our wedding at the Bourne Mansion on May 20, 2017 and it was above and beyond our expectations. Without a doubt, we would choose this venue again in a heart beat. Looking back now, one of the things we loved most was that there was a true emphasis on making sure we... Read More appreciated and enjoyed OUR day. Steve, the maitre d', was incredible. It is clear that the moment you work with him that he is very experienced and very good at what he does. Without him and his team, there are definitely things we would not have appreciated about our day. For example, he always made sure we were eating and had a drink in our hands. This was important to us as all of our friends insisted that we would not eat or drink at our wedding. Definitely not the case here, we ENJOYED our day. He kept everything organized and minimized all of the little things that can cause stress or distractions. Finally he made sure that after everyone left, we spent some time enjoying our cake as a couple, by ourselves. For that, we truly appreciated him. Aside from everything I mentioned, the food was OUTSTANDING. Two months later, our guests are still talking about our food. The cocktail hour, the dinner, the desserts were all incredible. Our guests also very much enjoyed the pretzels at the end. Unfortunately, we don't recall the woman's name who was handing out the pretzels but our guests LOVED her. To the Bourne staff reading this, please thank her for us! The venue itself was beautiful but I don't think you need this review to see that. It was in excellent condition on our day. Our photos managed to capture the beauty of the Bourne which definitely will leave us with a lifetime of happy memories. Finally, we can't help but mention Miriam who you will meet when you tour the Bourne Mansion and will work with her closely when you book your event. She always made herself available, was always pleasant to work with, and offered so many excellent suggestions; from decorating to the food choices. We cannot thank her enough for all of her help. Overall, our Bourne Mansion wedding was outstanding. We are very blessed to be able to have our wedding here as we know it somewhat more expensive but we feel it was worth every penny. We had a beautiful wedding that we will remember forever. Thank you to everyone who helped make it happen!

Reviewed on 7/13/2017 Peter C

I am one of the most AnAl people you will ever find. The Bourne Mansion was everything I could possibly have wished for on my special day. It may not have the celebrity hype like other venues but that is because it is classy and elegant and understated. Exactly what my husband... Read More and I were looking for. From our first day pulling up to the Bourne which takes your breath away to meeting with the incomparable Miriam I thought I was in a dream. Miriam made us feel at ease and confident and most importantly she truly cares about your wedding. Then after many meetings with Miriam she passes you along to Steve Melita. At first Steve comes off brash but one will soon realize that is because he is an absolute artist and master at what he does. Steve is rough around the edges but one lovable teddy bear inside. If you want your wedding to go off without a hitch then you will be smart enough to trust Steve. The best way I can describe Miriam and Steve is Miriam is the composer and Steve the conductor and with the two of them working together a master piece is composed. If you are smart enough you will see exactly what I am talking about as you plan your dream day at the Bourne Mansion. You can't go wrong.

Reviewed on 7/13/2017 Denise A

This venue was truly magnificent!! My husband and I had the most perfect day ever, and the whole team at Bourne mansion worked hard to make all of our dreams a reality! Miriam and Steve are both amazing at what they do, and we couldn't be more grateful for all their insights..... Read More Now we are just waiting to be invited as a guest to an affair here so we can really enjoy! Lol

Reviewed on 6/07/2017 Lina A

From start to finish and every step in between, Miriam, Steve & entire the Lessings crew at Bourne Mansion were absolutely phenomenal! Their years of experience and perfect combination of professionalism & personal attention really set them apart from every other vendor i met... Read More with...this is all on top of being at one of the most physically beautiful and unique venues in the Northeast...AND offering Lessings delicious catering services. This crew was was not only attentive, and super quick to respond/cater to our every need leading up to and during the wedding, but they were fun, trustworthy, and accommodating to almost every request or concern we had. Miriam genuinely loves her job and you can tell- she was honestly like a second mom to us throughout the whole planning process. She made our dreams come true, was beyond helpful in planning every little detail, and we really cant thank her enough. Our guests were absolutely amazed at how gorgeous the venue was and how delicious ALL the food was! Katherine the bridal attendant was also a Godsend on the day of, and the whole catering staff was so hard working. It was like she magically appeared any and every time we needed her without even asking. Between Steve and Katherine, every little detail was covered and taken care of on the day of the wedding. Steve definitely runs a TIGHT SHIP, and ensures everything gets done. All in all, if you get married here, trust and rest assured - you are in GREAT HANDS!

Reviewed on 4/03/2017 Megan A

We just had our wedding here. I can't say enough about the venue, food and staff. It was the perfect day. Thank you Steve and Miriam!

Reviewed on 3/28/2017 Ally F

The Bourne Mansion was actually the first venue we looked at when planning our wedding and we fell in love with it instantly. We looked at a bunch of other places afterwards just to make sure we didn't love it just because it was the first place we saw and nothing else even came... Read More close to comparing. We ended up having both our ceremony and our reception there on 3-25-17. The venue itself is stunning - with a gorgeous outdoor area, several rooms in which cocktail hour is held allowing guests to explore, and then of course the giant, beautiful ballroom which very easily held our 200 guests without feeling crowded. (I am very picky and hate ballrooms with carpets so I also instantly loved the fact that the entire room has hardwood floors.) Not only is the space gorgeous, and each room unique, but the food is amazing as well. All of our guests raved about the tons of delicious food during cocktail hour (my personal favorite was definitely the raw bar), the dinner, and of course the midnight pizza/burger/french fry/tomato soup station and cherry jubilee/banana foster station we offered for dessert. Working with Miriam leading up to the event, and Steve the night of, was an absolute pleasure. They are both extremely professional, know exactly what they are doing, respond to all of my sometimes crazy questions/requests and really help to create an extremely personal event that caters exactly to the tastes of the bride and groom. As someone who is an incredibly picky perfectionist, I find it amazing that I really couldn't find any flaws with the entire experience. Our night was just so incredibly perfect and our guests have not stopped complimenting us on our choice of venue. I cannot recommend this highly enough!

Reviewed on 3/09/2017 Katie K

Where do I start? This place makes dreams come true. We had our wedding at the Mansion this past weekend and everyone said it was the most beautiful and decadent venue they've every been to. Steve was our Maître D' and Miriam was our wedding director. I cannot even begin to tell... Read More you how they made planning and executing every last detail so easy. The night was like a fairytale. Thank you to the Bourne Mansion for making our special day even better than we ever imagined.

Reviewed on 12/23/2016 Colleen H

If you haven't seen Bourne Mansion in person you need to go there now!! It captivated me from the moment we walked through the door. It creates a coziness for your guests at cocktail hour and then grandness as you enter the ballroom. I was slightly concerned about the price our... Read More wedding would be but it is absolutely true you get what you pay for. Steve, the maitre'd and Miriam took care of us in the most amazing ways. Miriam answered all questions about weddings even if not relevant to Bourne specific details. Steve provided us with a timeline for our event, was reassuring in my times of nervousness, and made sure we and all of our guests were well taken care of. At the end of the night the entire dance floor was chanting his name as he encouraged our DJ to keep the party going a few extra minutes. I could never thank him, Miriam, Nicolette, and all the staff at Bourne for making my wedding the most wonderful day. This is by far the best kept secret wedding venue on Long Island!!!!

Reviewed on 12/06/2016 Maria s

Elegant, beautiful and incredible! Best decision we made was to choose Bourne Mansion as our venue. From booking the date, to the actual wedding day - the process was seamless due to the amazing staff on hand. Miriam was constantly at my beck and call whenever I had 100 wedding... Read More questions for her. She always was polite and very helpful!!! (THANK YOU!) The day of our wedding, we had Steve as our maitre'd. He kept everything organized and ran a tight ship. Him and his staff made sure we were eating, drinking and were happy. ( You are the best, Steve!) They go above and beyond- not to mention, the food is impeccable. The mansion was perfect for our winter wedding!

Reviewed on 10/27/2016 Danielle W

Where do I begin?! I alone give it 5 stars for my own experience with the staff. I was calm in the beginning and then all of a sudden got overwhelmed all of a sudden and my maitre d Steve, saved me! Like seriously. He made sure I was ok every moment he saw me and made me... Read More remember what it was all about and wants me to take it all in. The whole staff was incredible and tentative. Then the next day I spoke to my friends and family, EVERYONE was raving about the food! The cocktail food, the dinners! Everyone keeps raving about it! They keep texting me about how unique the venue was! It was homey and elegant at once. I even had a cousin who has the most amazing parties pull me aside and say "you had to one up me!" For anyone considering the Bourne mansion please take a look. It's a one wedding venue and they can trully make your dreams come true. Not only that no matter the weather you can't go wrong. If it should unfortunately rain on your wedding you have Soooo many options and areas to take AMAZING Pictures! The stair case, the hallways, the many fireplaces, all the different wall papers! It brings you backup a time when elegance was king! I went there 6 years ago for a wedding and the moment we pulled up into that long road to the gates I wished that when I meet my future husband that I get to have a wedding as beautiful as my friends. And who what of thought, Dreams do come true!

Reviewed on 10/19/2016 n m

Where to begin!!! From the beginning tour of the Bourne to the very end of our wedding night was amazing. Miriam was absolutely incredible. She answered a billion of my questions no matter what day or time. I truly loved every bit of planning my wedding probably because... Read More everyone I worked with was nothing but helpful. We added on the Shrimp Cocktail, Raw Oyster & Clam bar for cocktail hour. That went over very well! All our guest said there was an abundance of food. Our dinner choices were filet mignon, mahi mahi & a french cut chicken. All very delicious!! Our cake was from the house vendor Campbells- it looked beautiful & tasted delicious. Maitre d Steve ran a "tight ship"!! He was great, fun & made you feel like nothing will go wrong & if it did it didn't matter. We could not be happier with how everything turned out. The Bourne Mansion is a wonderful choice & you will not regret it.

Reviewed on 10/07/2016 Jennifer C

From the moment I stepped into this venue, I knew this is where I had to have my wedding. The place is beautiful, and elegant and had that wow factor. The grounds are beautiful and I loved that even in rain or shine I knew that our wedding photos would look beautiful at this... Read More place. Besides the place looking beautiful the staff there is amazing. From start to finish they make your day just perfect. They take care of every detail and were a pleasure to work with. The food was also amazing!

Reviewed on 9/25/2016 Lauren R

Can I just say WOW! You walk into the place and already your blown away. It's stunning. But, besides its beauty, its staff was absolutely unbelievable before during and after our wedding. We worked with Miriam for the event planning process. She was wonderful to work with.... Read More Always answered within a few hours (which is very important in the planning process) and helped us plan the most beautiful wedding in the world. The night of our maitre d, Steve was, as my husband calls it, "the man!" He was so fun and was unbelievably attentive the entire night. Steve made sure we ate, drank and had a blast. The venue was so accommodating to our every desire and wish. They made my dreams come true!! And the have never had better until you try their filet!!!

Reviewed on 9/05/2016 Julia

This was the best wedding experience we could've hoped for! We got tons of compliments about how gorgeous the place was and how delicious and amazing all the food was, from cocktail hour to entrees. There was an incredible amount of food, the cocktail hour stations were... Read More beautifully decorated, and all of the staff was very friendly. All our guests left happy and stuffed. Miriam is SO sweet and helpful -- she guided us as we organized our wedding and explained everything along the way. She was not only extremely friendly every time we met with her in person, but she was also very quick to respond to all our phone calls and emails. Steve was our maitre d' and was exceptionally organized and professional, and made sure that we got to enjoy our party -- food and drink included! Everything went so smoothly due to Steve's oversight and we got many compliments from our guests about how attentive and helpful he was to everyone throughout the night. Do yourself a favor and get married here!!!

Reviewed on 8/12/2016 Amanda D

My wedding was a fairy tale come true! Only concern was that early arriving guests saw us taking pictures before the ceremony. Wish they could have done a better job of keeping them away! And definitely a little pricier than other venues but worth it!

Reviewed on 8/04/2016 Caroline M

I could not be happier with how my wedding turned out. The setting is absolutely stunning. The service is impeccable. Miriam was such a big help during the planning process and Steve was amazing on the day of. He always made sure my husband and I had a fresh drink, tasted all... Read More the food, and was even there with a cold cloth for my neck when I got off the dance floor. From the moment my guests arrived to a glass of champagne to when they left with a hot pretzel, everyone was well taken care of. This is a five star venue and beyond five star staff and service.

Reviewed on 7/10/2016 Amanda C

We had our wedding at the Bourne last night... And it was beyond my expectations amazing!! Steve and Danielle were wedding Angels! My husband spilled food on his jacket and I got chocolate on my dress... And they swooped in and took care of it! The food was to die for... Steve... Read More made sure we ate! The grounds are beautiful, the service is amazing! I wish I could just live there forever. If anyone is thinking about using the Bourne as their venue... Do not hesitate to book it! Our guests have no stopped talking about the beauty of the mansion and the amazing food!

Reviewed on 7/08/2016 Lauren F

Let’s see. June 10, 2016….72 degrees, not a cloud in the sky overlooking the Great South Bay….behind you a historical landmark….A beautiful 100 year old Mansion….Should I keep going? I will. It was a FAIRYTALE WEDDING. Between having the best Matre d, Steve, an awesome wedding... Read More planner in Deborah Minarik, Miriam who helped put it all together, unbelievable food, cocktail hour inside and out on the gorgeous grounds this place just rocked! Gorgeous big party room with beautiful lighting and great sound. If you want something different and beautiful that your friends and family will talk about for years to come BOOK the Bourne Mansion!

Reviewed on 6/25/2016 Laura F

We fell in love with Bourne Mansion during our first walkthrough, and booked almost a year and a half in advance for our June 2016 wedding. As the months ticked by, Miriam from Bourne was always very responsive to my emails asking questions about anything and everything, helpful... Read More with figuring out the details, and giving advice about vendors as well. The week before the wedding we met with Steven who manages the actual day of the wedding, and he really had everything in line. He runs a tight ship, for good reason, because on the day of our wedding whenever anything needed to be managed, Steven was right there to take care of it. When our band began playing my father daughter dance song in the middle of a regular dancing set, he sprinted over and told them to quickly change the song, saving some awkwardness for us if they had played the same song twice during the night. Throughout our reception he was always there with a fresh champagne and a cold washcloth to cool us down between dancing. We felt so spoiled! Everything on the day of our wedding went exactly as we'd hoped and planned for, in large part due to the execution of the team at Bourne. All of our guests were so impressed by the gorgeous venue, the stunning ceremony outside, the great food during cocktail hour and dinner, and especially the enhancements we'd added on. We chose to add the ballroom lighting, which was beautiful, and have the midnight snack bar, which was probably one of the most popular items during our wedding. Everyone loved it! On the day of our ceremony it was supposed to rain right when our ceremony was called for, with the forecast becoming more ominous as the day went on. The staff was very flexible, and didn't insist we move it indoors just because of the forecast. We ended up with not one drop of rain, and a beautiful summer evening for our outdoor ceremony. I genuinely appreciated the effort to let us have the outdoor ceremony we were so hoping for. It was a fairytale!

Reviewed on 5/31/2016 Michelle O

Outstanding! That’s the best way to describe a wedding reception at The Bourne Mansion. It’s a hidden gem on Long Island. My husband and I had our reception on April 24th, 2016. We were a little hesitant at first about choosing the Bourne Mansion because it seemed a little... Read More further away than we had wanted. It was roughly a little over an hour drive from the city, but it was undoubtedly the best decision. Pulling up to the Mansion gives you a very special and elegant feel. Miriam was our contact at Bourne and helped us plan the wedding of our dreams. She gave us a tour of the grounds and we absolutely fell in love. Miriam is so friendly. She walked us through everything and was never once pushy. You could tell she really loves planning weddings at the Mansion. My husband and I only visited one other venue. We realized that nothing could compare to the Bourne and so we quickly booked our date. We kept in contact with Miriam throughout the whole process. We always felt she was genuinely excited for us. About a week before the wedding we sat down with the Maître d’, Steve. Steve is a very nice, organized person, who takes his job very seriously. He broke down the exact timing of how everything would flow on our wedding day. It really put our nerves at ease. We could tell that Steve was the perfect person to be monitoring the details of our day. On our wedding day, we were married at a church and used the mansion grounds for our photos. Both the mansion and its grounds are absolutely stunning and make for some very special and unique photos. The reception itself was flawless. The cocktail hour is set up in a bunch of connecting rooms, which allows guests to spread out and move around easily. They offered a wide variety of food selections for the cocktail hour and there was more than enough to go around. Many guests commented that they were already full before even going into the ballroom. The ballroom has a high ceiling which really makes for a breath-taking venue as guests enter the room. The food was excellent and once again guest could not stop telling us how amazing the food was. The wedding moved smoothly and Steve kept checking in on us and really kept us on schedule. We often hear that brides and grooms don't get to enjoy their wedding but my husband and I truly enjoyed every minute. The professionalism of the staff and help from Miriam and Steve really allowed us to have fun, eat, dance and be worry free. Our wedding day was absolutely amazing and they really made our dream wedding come true. We couldn’t be happier recommending it as a venue for your wedding.

Reviewed on 3/27/2016 Jillian N

We had our wedding at Bourne Mansion on March 12. To say that it was a beautiful experience would not even do it justice!! I knew from the moment I stepped inside the mansion for a bridal showcase that it was the perfect venue for us. The mansion itself is exquisite!! The... Read More grounds are spacious and when you arrive, you are taken to another time and place. The team at Bourne Mansion/Lessings made the whole planning process a breeze. We worked primarily with Miriam, who was an absolute pleasure!!! She showed such genuine interest in our wedding. She would give us little pearls of wisdom along the way which we greatly appreciated!! The week before the wedding we met with Steve Melita, the manager and Maitre D. Steve is the man! During that meeting, he put all my worries at ease. He provided us with a timeline for our wedding day, which was extremely helpful. Finally our wedding day arrived, and everything ran smoothly, thanks to Steve and the staff at Bourne Mansion. I can't describe how stunning Bourne Mansion looked that day. I had been there several times before, but to see it all set up was unbelievable, especially the ballroom. Our guests loved being able to roam through the different rooms during cocktail hour. And the food.... the food! The food was absolutely delicious. Steve and the staff made sure our every need was taken care of. He gathered our bridal party together and gave us a run-down of the day, which my husband and I hadn't seen when we were in bridal parties ourselves. I am so grateful for the experience we had at Bourne Mansion. Everyone there went above and beyond to make it a memorable night for us, and they succeeded.