My West Michigan Wedding

I want to be quick to say that I know there was no malicious intent on their part in posting their comments and their feelings are genuine. I also feel that some observations should be made that could clarify this situation from my perspective. As the saying goes, “There are two sides to every story.” The couple decided to proceed with an outside ceremony despite unseasonably cold temperatures. We rehearsed the day before in 26-degree temperatures which required preparations indoor and then moving outside to rehearse the procession. Decisions and suggestions were made to accommodate the predicted low temperatures and how it could impact a large guest count of 200 people. Fortunately, the temperature warmed to 40 degrees by the time of the ceremony but this still impacted decisions about advance seating by ushers as guests showed a reluctance to leave a sheltered area. Communication is key and nearly all of the issues they were unhappy with could have been avoided had they communicated with me better. Here are four examples. (1) They were disappointed that they did not rehearse with their music but it was never mentioned to me that they wanted to. The DJ was not present but they could have just said, “Can we practice with music?” (2) They let me organize the procession only to discover the next day that they had a door with curtains that they had planned to use which involved a totally different approach for the bridal party. They never told me about the curtained door at the rehearsal and allowed me to organize the procession in a way that they knew they would not use. Why didn’t they say something? (3) They planned to have a family member direct the wedding day proceedings (even though I directed the rehearsal) but they never mentioned her or introduced her to me at the rehearsal. (4) They claim their bridal party and ushers knew what to do, however, the men and the ushers were confused because the relative did not inform them and they were coming to me for direction. (5) They said that I was rushed to leave the rehearsal. I mentioned that we needed to wrap things up because their dinner was scheduled for 8:00 and it was 7:55PM. I didn’t want them to be late for their reservation. When I mentioned this on the call they said that there was no need to observe that time. Then why did they provide it to begin with and why didn’t they say something? I had no other obligation and I would have been happy to stay longer. Those are some of the examples. One other cause of dissatisfaction centers, I believe, on ceremony style. During the follow-up call with Lindsey, I eventually sensed that they had expected a very formal ceremony. This surprised me because the ceremony was outside, at a barn venue and in very low temperatures. They had objections to the more casual feel. So I feel their expectations would have been better suited to a formal church setting. I mentioned to them that I bring a more formal touch to settings that call for it, namely religious settings, but almost without exception, modern couples ask me to bring a less regimented, more casually dignified approach to their ceremony. And once again, had this been communicated to me, I would have gladly styled the ceremony accordingly. Incidentally, there was one thing that they asked for that I forgot to do and that had to do with dismissing the guests. I acknowledged that I dropped the ball on that, I apologized specifically for that mistake and they accepted my apology.