Q&A: Invitations: Addressing One to a Married Couple?

Q: What is the appropriate way of addressing an envelope to married couples? I have always thought that using, “Mr. & Mrs. John Doe" was correct. Can you address the envelope as, “Mr. & Mrs. John & Jane Doe", or is this tacky? And shouldn't people over 18 get their own invitation even if they're living at home with parents?

A: You're right that the traditional address wording is “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe", only using the husband's first name. It's completely appropriate to include the wife's first name as well -- it's not tacky, it's gracious. “John and Jane Doe" reads a bit more smoothly than “Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe", but it's true that the titles make it more formal. And you're right: Traditionally, a guest 18 or older who still lives at home should get his own invitation.

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Q&A: Invitations: Destination Wedding Etiquette?

My fiance and I are getting married in Maui and know that not all the 200 guests we would like to invite will make it. When we come back home, we are going to have a reception for everyone not able to make the trip. I've read that when getting married away and returning home to a reception, you should only send out wedding invitations to those you know can and will attend the wedding, then send out separate invitations for the reception. We both feel very strongly about sending invitations to everyone and then including (at the bottom) that a reception will be held in our honor when we return. We are afraid that if we follow etiquette, we will hurt people's feelings. Do we follow the rules or do what we feel is right?

by The Knot