Inside Becca Tilley and Hayley Kiyoko's Love Story

FInd out why the couple kept their relationship private for four years.
Hayley Kiyoko and Becca Tilley
Photo: Frazer Harrison / Staff | Getty
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Brittany Barber
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Brittany Barber
The Knot Contributor
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Updated Jan 31, 2024

Becca Tilley and Hayley Kiyoko have been together for over five years, although their relationship hasn't always been as public as it is now. Tilley, known for being on seasons 19 and 20 of The Bachelor, needed to take things slowly, especially since it was her first time opening up about being queer.

"I tried my best to empathize with Hayley and let her know, 'I know it's hard. I never want you to feel hidden or like you're a secret, but this is my first time navigating it, and I don't want to have to do it in the public yet,'" she said in an episode of her podcast, Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley and Tanya Rad.

Kiyoko, an actor, author and singer-songwriter who has become an icon in the LGBTQ+ community, was at a different point in her coming-out journey. "When we started dating, I was ready to have a public relationship," Kiyoko recalled during the same podcast episode. "When we were navigating her experience and where she was at in her journey, that obviously shifted. But it was worth it to me because I wanted to be in a relationship with her and I never felt like she was hiding me."

Now that their relationship is public, here's what we know about this famous couple's love story.

  • ​​Who is Hayley Kiyoko's girlfriend? She's dating Bachelor alum Becca Tilley.
  • How did Becca Tilley and Hayley Kiyoko meet? They met at Kiyoko's album release party for Expectations.
  • Hayley Kiyoko and Becca Tilley started dating in 2018, but kept it private until May 2022.
  • Becca Tilley wanted to keep her relationship with Hayley Kiyoko on the down low while she navigated coming out.

    How Becca Tilley and Hayley Kiyoko Met

    On May 21, 2022, Kiyoko posted a series of adorable photos of her and Tilley, the first being from the night they met. In the caption, Kiyoko explained that they met at her Expectations album release party four years prior:

    "This photo is from the first night we met at my Expectations album release party, we took this picture after 5 minutes. Her shirt said 'no time for romance'…'s been 4 years.

    I guess she had some time 🤷‍♀️."

    Becca Tilley and Hayley Kiyoko's Relationship Timeline

    April 2018: Hayley Kiyoko and Becca Tilley first meet

    The couple first met at Kiyoko's Expectations album release party in April 2018.

    August 2018: Becca Tilley is dating again

    In an interview with People, Tilley revealed that she was dating again, but that she planned to keep her love life private. "My last relationship was pretty public and out there and I've kind of got to the point where I'm like, 'Am I able to keep anything to myself?' So in this process of dating and going through that again I've been trying to keep it more low-key…it's been tricky, it's a tough world out there, the dating world" Tilley said.

    May 2022: Hayley Kiyoko and Becca Tilley confirm their relationship

    On May 19, 2022, Kiyoko hosted a release party for her new single, "For The Girls," (Tilley makes an appearance in the music video). While on stage, Kiyoko requested that Tilley join her by her side. She then gave Tilley a rose and the two shared hugs and kisses publicly, for the first time. Kiyoko later posted a video that captured the moment on her IG account.

    "It feels really good," Kiyoko told People. "I mean, we lived a very normal life. It just wasn't on social media. We lived very open. And we've been together for four years, but now it's on social media. And now we get to share with the world. It's just been really nice — we've had so much love and support." The next day, Tilley took to Instagram and posted a cute reel of the couple. She paired the video with a caption that says: "Hard to say if this is a hard or soft launch, but it is a launch ❤️ #95p."

    January 15, 2024: The couple vacay in Hawaii

    Tilley posted a series of gorgeous photos of her and Kiyoko on their recent trip together in Hawaii. They stayed at Rosewood, a picturesque resort in Kona Village.

    Becca Tilley and Hayley Kiyoko's Wedding

    While there aren't any wedding plans currently in the works (as far as we know!), we do know that Tilley has been pretty certain that she wants to spend her life with Kiyoko for some time now.

    In an episode of Tilley's podcast from February 2020, she revealed that she was "95 percent" sure she would marry her current partner. Because of this episode, "95p" became the code name Tilley used for Kiyoko when she talked about her then-private relationship. She even included it as a hashtag when she posted her first reel of the couple to her IG account. Fingers crossed "95p" becomes "100p" eventually!

    How the Couple Handles Life in the Spotlight

    For the majority of their relationship, Tilley and Kiyoko handled their life in the spotlight privately. Because coming out as queer was brand new for Tilley, they decided to take things slowly. Through understanding and patience, the couple was able to navigate their relationship being in the public eye once they were both ready to do so.

    "I was never a secret, we just kept our relationship private. It took me a second to get used to, and then I fell in love with it, because it was like, 'This is ours, and how cool is this, that we get to just share this, and grow it and really build a foundation?'" Kiyoko recalled in an episode of Tilley's podcast from September 2022.

    Tilley also discussed their early relationship during the episode, providing her perspective on keeping things low key — noting her experience dating The Bachelorette alum Robert Graham. "I had been in a public relationship with Robert and I remember when it was time to break up, it was like I'm letting people down. I was trying to explain that to her, that I don't want that pressure, especially on top of navigating this for the first time," Tilley said. "By the time we went public, I felt so secure in who I am, and so secure in our relationship and that we were on the same page. I was so ready to share with people."

    Kiyoko admitted that the idea of keeping their relationship secret had "triggered" her at first, but she came around to see Tilley's side of things. "It initially triggered all these traumas, but I also had to be like, 'That's not Becca. That's not our situation and I need to respect her journey in feeling comfortable in wherever she's at,'" she said.

    In a May 2023 interview with People, Kiyoko elaborated on her thoughts about their relationship. "I realized that we're all on so many different parts of our [coming out] journeys," Kiyoko recalled. "Just because we're in two different places in our journey doesn't mean that we can't still coexist and love each other and have an incredible relationship until she's ready to share that with everyone."

    "That doesn't mean that they don't want to be with you and that they don't love you and that they're not going to show up for you," Kiyoko said. "I've been so grateful for our relationship and our journey, and our decision to keep our relationship private for so long. I also love being able to share our relationship as well."

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