'13 Reasons Why' Star Tommy Dorfman Reveals She Secretly Eloped Last Year: "It Was Perfect"

The actress met her wife, Elise, on Hinge in 2021.
sarah hanlon entertainment and celebrity editor the knot
Sarah Hanlon
sarah hanlon entertainment and celebrity editor the knot
Sarah Hanlon
Entertainment & Celebrity Editor
  • Sarah is the Entertainment & Celebrity Editor for The Knot, with special focuses on pop culture and celebrity wedding news.
  • Before joining The Knot Worldwide, Sarah was a contributing writer for Bravo at NBC Universal.
  • Sarah has a degree in journalism and resides in New York City.
Updated May 02, 2024

Tommy Dorfman is married! The 31-year-old actress, known for starring in shows like 13 Reasons Why and Love, Victor, took to Instagram on May 2, 2024, to reveal that she secretly eloped with her partner, Elise Williams, in late 2023. "i married my best friend and didn't tell anyone except @hunterabrams who came and photographed us towards the end of last year," she shared on social media.

Dorfman revealed more details about her relationship with Williams in an essay for Vogue, sharing that her wife lives a private life and doesn't even follow her on Instagram. "a few weeks ago we decided to say let's celebrate this our way, so we [wrote] something for @voguemagazine and @vogueweddings because we love each other and the world should know!!!! ok???!," she continued on Instagram. We break down all the details of Tommy Dorfman's secret weddings below, including her Los Angeles and Brooklyn ceremonies.

Tommy Dorfman's Wedding Photos & Details

After matching on Hinge in 2021, Tommy Dorfman and her wife embarked on a whirlwind romance that resulted in an engagement two months into dating. "The first few months of our relationship set the tone for how we would eventually get married," Dorfman wrote in her Vogue essay. "To our credit, we waited a full 12 months before moving in together, so you can't say we U-Hauled (though one might argue taking in a Great Dane puppy at our six-month mark was a smidge irresponsible)."

Williams wasn't interested in a traditional wedding, and Dorfman already had the "first wedding" experience. (She was previously married to Peter Zurkuhlen. They divorced amicably in 2021, shortly after Dorfman publicly identified as a trans woman in an interview with Time.)

Despite already selecting wedding dresses—which were stored at their home in Brooklyn—the two decided to get married on a whim while in California during the fall of 2023. "Sitting perched above the shoreline in Malibu, Elise and I joked about same-day marriages, egging each other on," Dorfman wrote.

"The bit turned more serious when I took to Google and actually learned there was a concierge service for this in Los Angeles (of course there was) and California was the only state that offered confidential marriage services, meaning our papers wouldn't be in the public record and nobody would know we got married," she continued. That evening, they exchanged vows and celebrated at a concert.

Once they returned home to New York, the couple decided to get married again, this time in the off-the-rack dresses they originally selected: a Cecile Bahnsen set for Williams, and a Simone Rocha dress for Dorfman.

Dorfman enlisted the help of her longtime friend, Hunter Abrams, to photograph their Brooklyn wedding. "Once we were ready we all piled into our car and drove a few neighborhoods over where the trees were more lush, hopping out at various homes and stoops that complimented both our moods and our outfits," Dorfman recalled. "It was fun and perfectly executed, and all wrapped up by lunchtime."

Once they received their wedding photos, the newlyweds chose to share the happy news with the world. "A few months later, we got photos from Hunter and at that moment, we decided we wanted to share them with our friends and family and celebrate our love more publicly," Dorfman wrote. "While we won't live our lives online in any way that isn't well-protected, we do see the benefit of celebrating our love with the world—and, frankly, the importance of people seeing trans and queer love en vogue."

Who is Tommy Dorfman's Wife, Elise Williams?

In her essay, Tommy Dorfman revealed select details about her wife, Elise Williams. Their paths crossed on Hinge—and although Dorfman was keen to embark on her "Samantha Jones era" following her divorce, she was undeniably drawn to her now-partner. "It took a handful of swipes left before I landed on a profile that caught my eye: Elise, a redhead with an affinity for 'crisp glassware and well-organized bodegas,' the type of texter who 'does her best,' and undeniably beautiful," she wrote. "I swiped right hard and was met with a notification that she liked me too. Fun!"

Despite being married now, Dorfman will continue to keep her relationship out of the public eye. "Elise remains a self-respecting and grounded human—she likes her life, and her privacy," she added. "She still doesn't follow me on Instagram and her account is private, with just a small following of friends and loved ones who she lets in. Fame, or even fame by association, was never aspirational for her; she dedicated the first half of her 20s to educating, interior design projects, and writing."

Although they've enjoyed keeping their newlywed news under wraps throughout their first few months of marriage, the two were united in their desire to divulge their milestone now. "While it didn't feel like something we needed to flaunt publicly in any way, it was still the biggest moment in our lives together and we yearned for the memory of our love—and these beautiful dresses we bought—to be immortalized," Dorfman mused. "We also wanted at some point to share our love with our friends, family, and the world."

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