Weirdest Wedding Vows Ever

Knotties give us the lowdown on the weirdest wedding vows they've heard...or said.
Exchanging of vows during ceremony
Photo by Lauren Fair Photography

Star-Quality Husband

"I vowed to my husband that I would always find him hotter than Vin Diesel." -- Seshat

Candy Man

"One of my friends and her husband wrote their own vows that were personal and unique. He really loves orange Tic Tacs, and a part of her vow was, 'I promise to accept orange Tic Tacs as a food group.'" -- Angie

More Than a Friend

"I promise to be your best friend...with benefits" -- Liz

Happily Ever Whenever

"At my father's second wedding, he and his wife vowed to 'love and be faithful for as long as we can stand each other.'" -- Anna

The Morning After

"I recently heard, 'I want you two to look at each other, because this is the best that you'll ever look. Tomorrow you will wake up, and your hair will be messed up, pretty clothes gone, the makeup will be washed off. And real life starts, so remember how you looked today.'" -- Brianna

Biggest Winner

"Through fat and skinny." -- Karin

Just a Pinch

"I was at a wedding where the bride and groom wrote their own vows, and he promised to love her "just a little bit." They had an inside joke where she would ask how much he loved her, and he'd say "this much" and hold his fingers open only a little." -- Sarah

Base Hit

"Until death do we part...or until you become a Cubs fan." -- Amber

Sealed With a Five

"In our vows, Michael promised to buy me shoes whenever I asked for a new pair, and I vowed to buy him bigger tires for his Jeep. When they pronounced us husband and wife, we spontaneously high-fived." -- Dana

Mickey-Approved

"I went to a wedding where the entire vows were Disney-related." -- Cynthia

Deer Hubby

"I was at a wedding last summer, and the hunting-loving groom promised not to spend too much time hunting. The bride promised to be quiet in the tree stand." -- Diane

Ironclad Vows

"A triathlon brought us together, and as part of our vows, we pledged to be Ironmates forever. My plain wedding band has that inscribed inside." -- Theresa

Name That TV Show

"Part of my husband's vows included, 'I promise to treasure you always from now to the end of the world, because you are the prettiest girl in all of Wisconsin. It's especially funny, because I've never set foot in Wisconsin." -- Shauna

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