How to Tell Someone You Love Them With Words and Actions

The early days of falling in love are pure magic, if not a little bit of a rollercoaster. If those iconic words—"I love you"—are on the tip of your tongue but you're not ready to say them just yet, figuring out how to tell someone you love them in other ways becomes an act of creativity. Also, if you're already deep into a committed relationship, learning how to tell someone how much you love them in new and meaningful ways can help deepen your relationship even more.

"Love isn't just about three little words—it's about the way you show up, how you communicate, and whether your actions match what you're saying," says Christina Hathaway, MAS, LAMFT, a licensed associate marriage and family therapist.

Whether you've yet to say the words or are brainstorming creative ways to convey your deep love for someone you've been with for a long time, we're here to help with some alternative words of affirmation and acts of love.

In this article:

• When and How to Tell Someone You Love Them
• How to Tell Someone You Love Them Beyond 'I Love You'
• How to Tell Someone You Love Them Without Saying It

When and How to Tell Someone You Love Them

Ah, the age-old dilemma of timing that first "I love you." It's a nerve-wracking time, no doubt, filled with nervous energy and swirling thoughts. Like, are you sure it's love? And if so, is your partner ready to hear it? Ultimately, there's no exactly right time to tell someone you're in love with them—it all comes down to your unique relationship.

"The key to knowing when to say 'I love you' is being open and honest with yourself and making sure that both of you are feeling the same way," says Terri Orbuch, PhD, relationship expert at DatingAdvice.com. "Look for signals that the other person feels a similar way, [like] nonverbal gestures like eye gaze, positive touch when together, leaning in, using 'we' language, talking about the future together and wanting to introduce you to the people who are important to them." Feeling confident in your alignment and feelings toward your partner allows that first "I love you" to roll off your tongue more genuinely.

How to Tell Someone You Love Them Beyond 'I Love You'

Whether you're not quite ready to say "I love you," or you want to say it in a different way, lean on other phrases that communicate your feelings. Here's how to tell someone you love them without saying it in exactly that way.

1. You mean so much to me.
2. I love spending time with you.
3. I adore you.
4. I think we're a really great pair.
5. You're such an amazing person.
6. You mean the world to me.
7. I'm so lucky to be with you.
8. You make my life so much sweeter.
9. I'm always in your corner.
10. I'd choose you over and over again.
11. I feel so happy when we're together.
12. You're my favorite person.
13. You're my safe place.
14. My feelings for you keep getting stronger.
15. I'm always here for you.
16. You have my heart.
17. You make this world a better place.
18. I treasure you and our relationship.
19. You are my best friend.
20. I care about you more than words can say.

How to Tell Someone You Love Them Without Saying It

Conveying your love isn't just about those three little words—or even necessarily about words at all. Here's how to tell someone you're in love with them to convey your deep care and adoration.

1. Hold hands while you walk: This is a simple way to show someone you love them and want others to know you're together. Touch is a very important way to express love.
2. Cuddle and connect: Similarly, spending time canoodling together is a cute way to tell someone how much you love them without uttering a single word. Maybe it's snuggles on the couch, a giant hug when you see them or a kiss before bed.
3. Surprise them with a treat: "This says I see you, I notice what you like and want and I appreciate you," Orbuch says.
4. Write a quick, heartfelt note: Leave a sweet message in their bag, on their pillow or in their lunch to let them know you're thinking of them.
5. Prioritize them: "Love isn't just the words, it's the way you show up," Hathaway says. Make them a priority in your schedule, affirm their feelings and commit to deepening the relationship.
6. Take something off their plate: Make their life easier by tackling a chore they don't like or taking care of something that needs to be done. Lightening their load is a great way to say "I care about your happiness."
7. Send them a card: "Mail from a partner is always a surprise and shows them that you took the time to buy a meaningful card, write something in it and mail it," Orbuch says. "It is a simple act, but very romantic and surprising."
8. Plan a cute date: Organize an experience you know they'll love, whether it's a fancy dinner, a cozy night in with their go-to movie or an adventurous hike.
9. Speak their language: "Not everyone hears 'I love you' the same way," Hathaway says. "For some, it's words. For others, it's a back rub after a long day, running an errand for them or just sitting in silence together."
10. Check in during the day: A simple "Hey! Thinking of you. How's your day going?" text shows they're on your mind.
11. Celebrate their wins: Whether big or small, be their biggest cheerleader. When someone's in your corner cheering you on it shows just how much you matter.
12. Remember the small details: Bring up something they mentioned in passing to show you truly listen and care.
13. Give them a framed photo: "Take a favorite photo of you and your partner and frame it or transfer it to a photo mug," Orbuch suggests. "This says I think of you, I love our time together and I want you (and me) to remember that we are together."
14. Listen intently: When hanging out, give them your undivided attention when they're talking and affirm what they've communicated. This makes them feel truly heard and valued.
15. Throw them some compliments: Compliment them in a meaningful way. Notice and acknowledge the little things about them that you admire and tell them!