What Happens to the Ring If You Call Off Your Engagement?

Since Mariah Carey and Australian businessman James Packer split abruptly last month, the hit singer has been getting a lot of scrutiny for continuing to wear her whopping 35-carat engagement ring. While the public dishes out different opinions, we've got what you need to know when it comes to engagement ring etiquette—it's a bit more complicated than you might think.

The bottom line is that every situation is different, but it almost always depends on who called off the engagement. If the recipient of the ring calls it off, they should return it. But if the gifter of the ring calls it off, then it's the recipient's choice whether or not to keep it. According to Caroline Krauss-Browne, an attorney specializing in matrimonial and family law litigation at Blank Rome LP in New York City, accepting a ring is a significant act of promising your hand in marriage. "So long as she is willing to fulfill her promise, she has given consideration for contract. So if he breaks it off, she can keep the ring," Krauss-Browne explains. "But if she breaks off the engagement, she signifies that she is no longer willing to keep the promise." In other words—whether you propose or accept the proposal, it symbolizes a promise.

Couples who bought the ring together would have to sort out who gets the ring either on their own or legally. Laws tend to differ across states, so it's important to review the legal specifics for your home state. A local small-claims court, according to Krauss-Browne, is the ideal place to smooth over matters if the ring is less than $2,000. And if the ring has a long family history, it goes back to that family. "If the ring were an heirloom of extraordinary value, the laws of equity would probably override in a situation like that," Krauss-Browne says.