It's Not Weird to Go Engagement Ring Shopping Together—In Fact, We Encourage It

If you shudder at the thought of engagement ring shopping together, allow us to make the case to try before you buy. For years, we've been trained to believe that going ring shopping with your partner breaks a cardinal rule of getting engaged. After all, if you see the ring before they pop the question, that spoils the element of surprise…right?

That's actually not quite true. In reality, going engagement ring shopping together is a great way to find a ring you'll be excited to wear every day for the rest of your life. By doing it as a team, you can choose your level of involvement, whether you want to show your partner exactly what you want or try on styles together and let your S.O. choose one you both love. (Read: That means you won't have to drop nonchalant hints in the hopes that they catch on.) Below, we break down everything to know about going engagement ring shopping together.

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At a glance:

• It's totally normal to go engagement ring shopping together. In fact, our data indicates that 77% of people had some sort of involvement in the selection of their ring.
• Going engagement ring shopping with your partner is the best way to align on your budget and find a ring that fits within your price point and matches your vision.
• Our data found that proposers spent about four months or less on the engagement ring selection process, and they went to five stores (on average) before buying the final product.

In this article:

• Is It Normal For Couples To Go Engagement Ring Shopping Together?
• Benefits of Going Engagement Ring Shopping Together
• How to Go Engagement Ring Shopping As a Couple
• Should You and Your Partner Go Engagement Ring Shopping Together?

Is It Normal For Couples To Go Engagement Ring Shopping Together?

You can go engagement ring shopping with your partner, but is it normal? Our data says yes. According to The Knot 2024 Jewelry & Engagement Study, which surveyed over 7,000 recently engaged couples, 77% of proposees had some sort of involvement in the selection and/or purchase of their engagement ring. We found that 39% of people said they were "somewhat involved" by hinting at or discussing what they wanted; 29% said they shopped with their partner; and 9% said they were present when the ring was purchased.

Design: Tiana Crispino

This proposal trend isn't just supported by data, either, as jewelers are also experiencing a rise in collaborative shopping in their showrooms. "We see a mix of couples shopping together and individually for their partners," says James Allen gemologist Lorraine Brantner. "Even when someone is selecting the design on their own, they often have inspiration images or hints of style elements that their partner prefers."

Beyond that, Brantner adds, "Selecting a ring together can add to the overall experience of becoming engaged. While the proposal moment may be a surprise, in today's world future fiancés feel comfortable sharing their preferences with their partners ahead of time."

Benefits of Going Engagement Ring Shopping Together

There are plenty of benefits that come with shopping for an engagement ring together. Perhaps the biggest, though, is knowing that the proposer can present the final ring knowing it's what their partner wants. "The main benefit of ring shopping with your partner is the confidence in knowing they will receive a ring they truly love," Brantner says. "Having an open conversation about the preferences for each person, but ultimately the wearer, allows a couple to discuss various design elements to create the perfect ring to represent their commitment to one another."

For those who do want to have a say in their ring but still want to be surprised when the proposal occurs, Branter assures that shopping together doesn't have to ruin the big moment: "You can still shop together to decide on a general design and keep the timing of the purchase and proposal a surprise."

Another reason why we suggest going ring shopping together is to have an expert guide you through your purchase. While you (or your partner) might dream of a five-carat rock in a cathedral setting, for example, you might learn that exact style may not be suitable for your ring budget or your lifestyle. Working with a professional can help level-set those conversations from the start, allowing you to find an option that makes everyone happy. "Many customers have a general idea of what they prefer, though it is helpful to receive guidance from a professional to maximize your budget with your center stone and incorporate the right design elements of your setting for your lifestyle," Branter says.

How to Go Engagement Ring Shopping As a Couple

If you want to go engagement ring shopping together, start by setting up an appointment at a jeweler's showroom. (Psst: You can search for local stores near you on The Knot Vendor Marketplace.) During your appointment, try on popular engagement ring styles, get a feel for what diamond shapes and metal colors you like, and consider what sort of wedding band you'd want to add to your stack. You might discover that the trendy engagement ring design you thought you'd love isn't actually your favorite, or that a different setting better suits your personal style.

We also recommend discussing the ring's 4 C GIA rating, as well as its fit and safety tips, to narrow down the best choices. "Someone who enjoys outdoor activities may want to explore a solitaire or bezel setting instead of a halo or a design with a lot of pavé stones," Brantner says. "Talk about how to maximize your budget with your center diamond and ask to see options in various color and clarity combinations."

Our survey found that proposers visited about five stores and looked at approximately 10 rings before making the final selection, thus proving that there's no need to rush the process. Taking your time—and including your partner's input—will make the final decision much easier (and, honestly, less stressful).

Should You and Your Partner Go Engagement Ring Shopping Together?

While we've determined that you can go engagement ring shopping together, it's up to you to decide if you should. Although there are plenty of benefits to selecting an engagement ring with your partner (or at least giving them some sort of guidance), some may want to have a completely hands-off experience. In fact, our study found that 23% of proposees weren't involved at all in their ring selection, saying it was a complete surprise. If you truly don't have any sort of ring style preferences (or if you want the proposal to be a total shock), then you might want to skip shopping with your partner.

That said, our data indicates that engagement ring shopping together is becoming the new normal. You can choose your level of involvement in the shopping process, thus allowing your partner to pick a ring with confidence while knowing it's something you'll be excited to wear every day. That's a win-win in our eyes.