Double Proposals: Why Planning Together Doesn’t Make It Less Romantic
Have you always dreamed of proposing to your partner and being proposed to? Well, we have some good news for you because not only can that fantasy be fulfilled, but it also has a name: a double proposal. It sounds like business jargon, but it's one of the many proposal trends on the rise today. (It's important to note that this is already a popular option for LGBTQIA+ proposals, but it's starting to gain traction among heterosexual couples as well.) But no matter how a couple labels themselves, we love this equitable proposal style. It allows couples to plan the event together, to be open about their wants and needs, and to share the spotlight.
To help you better understand what a double proposal entails, we spoke with Julia Di, founder of Cloud Nine Premium Romance Concierge in Miami, so you can learn how to arrange a loving moment that both you and your partner will adore. And for those curious about how a double proposal looks in the real world, we've done the scouting for you by interviewing three couples (one currently married and two with wedding dates in 2025) who chose a double marriage proposal and have no regrets.
The real 411 on double proposals: What's a Double Proposal? | How to Plan | Is It Right for You? | Real Couples' Stories
What's a Double Proposal?
A double proposal is when the members of a couple plan their engagement together (from the rings to the location) and propose to each other on the same day or different days. This method is also called a joint proposal and is ideal for couples who both want the chance to say an enthusiastic "yes."
How to Plan a Double Proposal
A double marriage proposal isn't as complicated as you might think. Here's a guide to planning a beautiful engagement both partners will enjoy.
Figure out how many proposals you want.
Di, who has over 10 years of proposal planning experience, explains that couples can choose to do two entirely separate proposal events or plan for both partners to break out their ring boxes at the same time and place. Some may opt for the latter to save money for the wedding budget or simply for time and convenience's sake. But you don't have to. If you and your partner want to plan together, yet choose separate days to propose, go for it. This option can give each person the chance to have their own special day. Regardless, doing whatever feels right for your relationship is always the best choice.
Decide who proposes first.
This step isn't a requirement, but since two people are proposing, one partner might prefer to go first. Discuss this beforehand to avoid awkwardness when the moment comes. Di says there's no rule for who goes first; that's up to the couple. If you're proposing on the same day as your partner and have a list of surprise proposal ideas you want to incorporate, like a live band or wine tasting, we suggest you go first, since you'll have a better idea of the day's itinerary.
Embrace timing flexibility.
While you can plan the exact date and time of a joint proposal, it isn't necessary. Di encourages joint proposal couples to maintain a little mystery to make the experience more special. Consider aligning on a general time frame, but leaving the specifics up to your S.O.—this creates space for emotional, candid moments (and pics). Whether you're planning a trip around the proposal or keeping it local, try to work in timing flexibility. This is also a good idea for those who know they'll be too excited to wait until a specific date and time.
Choose an engagement announcement timeline.
Discuss if you and your partner want to do the engagement announcement immediately after the proposals, or savor the moment privately for a few hours (or days). We know you'll be thrilled to share the news, but don't forget to take a little time to enjoy your engagement...the Instagram post can wait. Once you and your partner know how soon you want to tell your loved ones, think about what you want to do after. "Couples often plan an engagement party or small celebration right after the proposal," Di says. You can also have an intimate dinner for two, an engagement photo shoot or go on a postproposal trip—the possibilities are endless.
Is a Double Proposal Right for You?
The first step to planning a double proposal is to talk to your partner in advance (about six months before the possible proposal date) about whether they want to take this route for the engagement, suggests Di. Remember, the only way a double proposal or any future endeavor will work is if you and your partner communicate about each of your wants and needs. And don't worry about this conversation taking away the surprise factor of the engagement. What's more crucial than anything else is you and your partner being on the same page.
But why do some couples take this route for the engagement? Di says, "Partners usually know what type of proposal they want, and they can share this info with their significant other to ensure a great experience for both of them." Fun fact: Di has planned three double marriage proposals in the last year.
Real Couples Share Their Double Proposal Story
Rules are made to be broken. Keep reading to learn how three couples planned their joint proposals and why they loved their decisions.
Olivia and Shelby
Shelby and Olivia's love story began on not one, but two dating apps. "The first time we matched, Liv said 'hi' to me, and I was like, 'I need more than a hi,'" Shelby says. A month later, they matched again on a different app, which resulted in a better introduction and conversation, leading them to meet in person. They got drinks at a local bar and enjoyed their time together so much that they continued the fun at another spot, where they shared their first kiss. "The bar is called Lovers of Today, which is so appropriate," says Shelby. After a few months, the two made it official and have been inseparable ever since.
When both felt that they were ready to get engaged, they had to decide where the proposal should be. "We were already discussing rings before Shelby's work trip to Bora Bora. We knew it would be the perfect place for the proposal," says Olivia. Fast-forward to June 29, and Shelby and Olivia were on the Polynesian island doing an engagement photo shoot on the beach and wearing white to coordinate with their surroundings and each other. Even though the two planned the destination and date, Shelby wanted some elements to surprise Olivia. "I asked the resort events team to help me do a big, grand proposal," Shelby says. After taking photos, they hopped in the outrigger canoe to an island decorated with palm fronds, candles and tiki torches. Since Shelby organized the island surprise, she got down on one knee and proposed first. "I said how much I love Liv, that I'm excited about our future together, that I can't see myself with anyone else and that I love her and her family," Shelby recalls. Olivia's heartfelt speech followed. "I had a couple of things I wanted to touch on, like how she showed me what true love was and that I loved the time we've spent together. Overall, it was a blur of emotion and beauty," says Olivia.
This was one of Shelby's favorite parts of the proposal because she felt Olivia helped her learn the meaning of true love too. "Liv mentioned how I taught her what love is and that was something we joked about at the beginning of our relationship. She would say, 'Oh, you don't know what love is,' because I told her I had never been in love before," Shelby says. "So that's what I had engraved in her ring: 'Thank you for teaching me what love is.' And Liv wrote 'My love' inside mine in her handwriting."
Why did these two choose to do a double proposal? "I always saw a proposal as a big surprise thing, and I thought that was something I wanted. But at the same time, I think what we did was perfect for us. There's so much romance in the preparation. It makes it feel more like an egalitarian relationship," Shelby says. Olivia agrees and says there are moments of spontaneity in a joint proposal. "We're not constrained by 'somebody has
to do this, and somebody has to do that.' There's romance in the uncertainty," Olivia explains.
For couples considering a double marriage proposal, Olivia says communication is crucial. She recommends having honest conversations early on, like where you want to do it, what's the budget, what rings you want and your expectations. "Since we did all this, we're in a better spot for wedding planning," she says.
Madison and Jeremiah
After connecting on a dating app, Madison and Jeremiah bonded on two back-to-back art museum dates. In that short time, Madison already knew he was special. "Jeremiah was the first person I wanted to have a third date with," Madison says. Three years later, their unconventional proposal journey started when they booked their wedding venue before they were engaged. "Our timeline wasn't typical, but it worked well for us," says the couple. Knowing they wanted to get engaged, the two had numerous conversations about what the proposal should look like. "We tossed around ideas like choosing a specific week where we had different days to plan a surprise proposal for each other, but it was too complicated. We came back to what mattered to us, which was sharing a private moment in nature," Madison says.
They proposed to one another during peak foliage season in upstate New York, where they had celebrated their two-year anniversary. "We found a rental in the Catskill Mountains surrounded by nature and planned a long weekend there," Madison says. After picking the destination, they got each other engagement rings, since they viewed their joint proposal as a representation of equal partners. On October 9, 2022, they wore special outfits selected for the occasion, and Madison got her camera to document the moment. In an open field during golden hour, surrounded by towering trees with changing leaves, Madison proposed first and Jeremiah next, followed by a joint ring exchange. "A small group of bluebirds started singing as if they were congratulating us. Afterward, we called our families and opened a special bottle of prosecco," Madison recalls.
Eleven months later, the couple married in Purlear, North Carolina, a scenic destination by the Blue Ridge Mountains. Now happily married for a year, the couple says they wouldn't change anything about their double proposal. "Planning it together was a meaningful experience for both of us. I loved being proposed to," Jeremiah says. Madison felt their collective decision was beautiful. "The intentionality of planning
an experience together was incredibly romantic. The simplicity of the moment, including the proposals we read to each other, made it really special," Madison says. Together, they leave us with a few final thoughts: "We've always been deeply committed to an equal partnership. We wanted to create an experience rooted in our values. We questioned conventional expectations and traditions that didn't feel right to us."
Katie and Tara
When you're online dating, it's overwhelming to endlessly scroll. For Tara, it was worth it once she laid eyes on Katie. "Katie had this wonderful picture of herself in a field of wildflowers in the Colorado mountains, twirling around in a big beautiful dress. She looked exactly like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. I was like, 'Well, this seems like a fun person,' and sent her a message," Tara says.
Eventually, Katie and Tara met in person. Though Tara lived in Virginia "in the middle of the sticks" and Katie in Washington, DC, Katie visited Tara as much as possible. Since Katie didn't have a car, Tara picked her up from the train station in Fredericksburg, Virginia, throughout most of their relationship. This was one of the locations where they thought a joint proposal should take place. "We talked about the engagement being at the train station where I picked her up, which has some sketchy areas. I waffled about it, thinking it should be in a special place that's pretty. But I could tell Katie was a little disappointed. She wanted it to be at the sketchy train station. So that was the turning point for me," Tara says.
Picking the destination was the last puzzle piece as their engagement rings burned holes in their pockets. "I knew Katie couldn't have that ring one more week. We planned to have the rings on us all the time, but we never talked about what specific day the proposal would be," Tara says. Two weeks after engagement ring shopping together, Tara waited for Katie at the train station with flowers and the ring box. After Tara proposed and Katie stopped crying, Katie pulled out her ring box and asked Tara if she'd marry her. They got their photo taken by a friendly bystander and then ordered pollo asado at a nearby Mexican restaurant. "We enjoyed the couple of hours we had to ourselves where we drove around, just being engaged," Katie says.
For Katie and Tara, a joint proposal felt right. "We constantly talked about marriage and rings. The whole process was collaborative, like a marriage, so why shouldn't a proposal be that way too?" Katie asks. Tara feels the same way and believes you don't need to follow a rule book. "Why should one person wait for the other to step up? I struggled with the idea of planning it and wondered if it was as special as a traditional proposal. But in the end, I decided this was our engagement, so we should both be part of it," Tara says.
They want other couples to know that expressing what you both want helps avoid any guessing games. "I've watched so many of my friends get heartbroken over their engagements because they were waiting for someone to make a move and nothing happened," Katie says. Instead of being unsure, sit down with your significant other and talk about what would make you both feel special. "If a joint proposal is something you're thinking about, and you're worried about communicating with your partner and ruining that spontaneity, don't be. That surprise isn't worth the anxiety you're producing," Tara says.